In Washington, D.C., in 1972, a massive ditch sits in the middle of the District. WORKMEN are assembling a concrete structure that will soon be a tunnel. Butch guides a piece of the tunnel into place by a crane. Walker spots him on the other side. It fits perfectly into place. They are working on the future Red Line.
Butch looks around. A little more frantic every few seconds. He can’t find his drill, and if he leaves it overnight, it'll be stolen. Walker goes down the tunnel to fetch the drill. He finally spots it, laying halfway under the concrete structure. Walker bends down further and digs at the dirt underneath the drill. He gets a good grip and pulls as hard as he can. The drill comes loose. Walker loses his balance and crashes backwards into the dirt wall. The hand holding the drill flies out and smashes into the dirt wall. It makes a clanging sound. He wipes the dirt away to reveal a rusty metal door.
Walker, Butch and several other workers stand staring at the door. They don't know what it is. Butch thinks it holds treasure.
Butch opens it. It’s nothing but a dark cave. Walker warns him against going in but Butch goes anyway. The other workers shrug and follow him. Walker is reluctant, but he follows, too. He closes the door behind him.
15 minutes later, the door slams open. Walker rushes through the doorway, covered in blood. He screams, then slams the door closed. He leans against it. Something on the other side smashes into the door with a THUMP! Walker screams again. He hesitates a second, then runs down the ditch, bouncing off the concrete wall and dirt wall as he goes.
In Washington, D.C., in the present, Beth Danson washes her face in the bathroom mirror. She's wearing pajamas.
The doorbell rings. She walks to the front door and opens it to reveal Juno Slade and Sam Garcia. Sam carries a small sketch book and pencil. Both women are excited and smiling. They want her to go out. She says no. They say she hasn't gone out since she broke up with Garth.
Beth shares her wine with them. They beg her to go out, but she's exhausted. They keep trying to convince her, but she says she's tired of karaoke. Sam says they got something new tonight. Beth can't believe Sam is going to skip karaoke. Sam says she already went earlier.
Juno says they're going to a RaveTrain. A secret rave on a city metro train. Which isn't legal. They say celebrity men will be there and that gets Beth's interest. Juno hands out mushroom gummies and they get high.
An hour later, the three women stare at the mirror. Juno says the worst part is over. Beth feels self-conscious, but the others encourage her.
They stumble towards the Metro station, giggling. Beth thinks she may be too high to go out, but the others keep her going. Juno steps onto the escalator down to the Metro. The others join her. They stumble off the end of the escalator and towards the turnstiles.
The women arrive on the platform. A private security guard waves people towards the center of the platform. Beth looks towards Juno in a panic. Juno flashes the guard a complicated hand signal. The security guard nods towards the rail, saying stay here.
The train arrives. It slows. The women stand at the last car. The windows are blacked out. The train stops. The door opens, but the lights are normal and there’s no music. Beth isn't sure this is the right train. The others reassure her and they get on the train.
The three women stand in front of the door as it closes behind them. The car is packed, the people ARE dressed for a rave. The windows are all covered with velvet curtains. They notice a man wearing a silver helmet at the front of the train. A long instrument case sits on his lap. He flips it open to reveal a DJ set-up with two turntables and a microphone. He hits a button and music plays. The seated people burst to their feat and start dancing. Someone hands Juno glowsticks, which she shares with Beth and Sam. They start dancing.
Sam dances with an attractive woman. Juno dances with several attractive men. A manboy rubs his junk on Beth’s backside. She walks away disgusted. Sam dances with a different attractive woman. Beth gets a drink from a bar at the front of the car. The bartender gives her several mini bottles of vodka. The manboy dances up to Beth at the bar. She gives him a dirty look and walks away. Beth dances with Sam. The manboy approaches again. Sam stomps on his foot and he stops bothering them. Juno joins them and they dance together.
The train loses power and slows to a stop. The conductor speaks on the intercom, but they can’t hear it over the music. Several people open the door and make their way to the next car. Juno leads them into the next car.
The women find an empty bench and sit down. The car is filled with people. The mood is deteriorating quickly. Some are on the verge of panic. The conductor speaks over the intercom and tells everyone to stay seated, fire fighters are on the way. Sam pulls out her sketch book and starts drawing.
An hour later. No fire fighters have arrived. People are restless or freaking out.
The conductor again tells them to stay seated, fire fighters will arrive in an hour.
Juno freaks out. She stands up and tries to open the door on the side of the car closest to the tunnel wall. Beth and Sam help. Juno looks around and makes eye contact with Devin and asks him for help. He stands up and helps them. They introduce themselves to each other.
The door opens. Juno thanks Devin. He asks for her number. She says "next time." She smiles as she hurries down the track. Devin shrugs and steps away to let Beth and Sam pass by. They hurry to catch up to Juno. Soon, they cross behind the end of the train and out of sight.
Devin steps out of the train. He looks around carefully. He follows them.
Juno leads Beth and Sam through the tunnel. They walk in silence for a while. Juno says they're walking back to the station. Sam asked what happened to the track, which no one can see. Sam asks if they're lost. Juno and Beth follow Sam. It takes a while. They keep walking. As they go along, the man-made tunnels transition into a cave. Juno says the platform definitely isn’t in a cave. Beth shrugs.
Sam says she found the door! Beth and Juno are confused. They hurry to catch up to Sam. They round a corner to find Sam standing before the same rusty metal door found by the workers in 1972. Sam leads them through the door. Beth closes the door behind them.
Sam leads them through a cave that gets rougher and rougher as they go along. Juno asks why they are still in a cave? Sam says she's crashing. She sits on the floor.
Beth says Juno has been kinda pushy lately. Juno asks why she's bringing it up now. Sam says they're crashing, too. They should sit down. Beth sits down, giving Juno a dirty look as she does it. Juno sits down as well. Sam says they can just chill. Beth doesn't want to chill.
Juno thinks Beth needs to get laid. That’s what she was pushing. Beth laughs. She just wants to meet a man who isn’t an asshole. Juno says she doesn't have a boyfriend, but at least she's fucking. She's in the game.
Beth stands up and says they should get out of there. The other two stand as well. Sam says they should keep going. It’s gotta be closer to the platform to move forward than to backtrack and end up back at the broken train. Juno and Beth look at each other, then shrug. Sam leads them further into the cave.
She sees a light ahead. They’re close to the exit. Beth notices a few small plants starting to appear along the passage. She kneels to look closer. The plants look like felt. They feel like it, too.
Sam stands up. Beth sees a small squirrel scurry from behind the plants. It’s very clearly a Muppet. Juno moves away from it. Beth stays low, reaching for the squirrel. She makes whatever sound she thinks would attract a squirrel. The squirrel opens its mouth to reveal razor blade teeth. The squirrel growls then bites the tip of Beth’s finger off. She screams as she stands and backs away from the squirrel.
Beth yells for them to run. Juno’s already gone. Beth and Sam run after her. They retrace their steps back towards the door. But it’s gone. The cave is now a dead end. Sam asks what's going on. No one responds.
The women huddle near where the door was, which is now simply a cave wall. Sam says they should get moving. Beth asks where they're going. Sam says out of the caves, which she's afraid will become a deathtrap. They gather closely and head towards the cave’s exit. The bloody-mouthed Muppet-squirrel shows its teeth and rushes at them. Juno kicks the squirrel and it flies across the cave and smashes into the wall with a squeak. Several other Muppet-squirrels scatter. They run towards the end of the cave and go outside.
Sam, Beth, and Juno stand outside the cave in the dirt. They are tired, breathing heavy, bent over. Out here, the Muppet squirrels run away, looking for cover. They look around. The dirt from the cave turns into a dirt road that leads towards a distant forest. On either side of the road are grasslands. The grasses are of various bright colors. Sam moves closer to the grasses to get a look. Sam reaches out to touch the grass. Beth flinches when Sam makes contact. Sam says it's fur. Like from a Muppet.
They stare at her incredulously. Sam stands up and looks back at the cave. It sits at the base of a sheer cliff wall made of silver-colored clay. There are no other caves within miles. Sam says they can't go that way. Beth says who knows what lives in the fur/grass. Juno still thinks that's the best/only way to go. They all stare at the distant forest. They start walking.
The three women walk along. Juno leads enthusiastically, it’s her thing. Beth is sweaty and annoyed. Sam is taking in the scenery. She’s in her zone. Sam scans the grasses. There some other small plants and small trees, all made of Muppet felt. A rumbling sound comes from behind them. Sam notices, but she keeps walking. The rumbling gets louder. Beth looks behind them. But doesn’t see anything. The rumbling gets even louder. The ground begins to shake.
Beth grabs them and yanks them to get them to stop walking. She tells them to be quiet. And still.
Juno has questions, but she complies. The rumbling is a roar as something burrows past them on the right. It doesn’t break the surface, but it moves the dirt like in “Tremors” or “Dune.” It moves past them without slowing down or getting closer to the path. The women wait until whatever it is makes it far away.
Sam shrugs and walks past them. They follow her. After a while, Sam looks a little closer and sees a random series of bowling ball-sized piles of fluff. She reaches out to touch one. It opens its eyes, which are glowing and red, and its mouth, which is filled with razor-sharp teeth.
The puffball launches itself at her head, teeth first. Sam dodges it and runs down the road. More puffballs launch at her as she’s running, but they miss. A puffball hits Juno in the chest and she catches it in surprise. It opens its mouth and tries to bite her. She throws it as far away as she can. One of the puffballs smacks into Beth’s legs and falls to the ground. She kicks it and it makes a loud squeak. Juno takes off running. Beth follows.
The women stop running as they near the forest. The puffballs continue to fly behind them, but none live in the forest. The women stop and rest. Beth says she's never gonna forgive them. Beth tries to catch her breath. They argue a bit. Beth blames Juno, Sam says it's not Juno's fault, clearly something supernatural is at work here.
Sam walks a few feet away from the forest. A puffball flies at her. She catches it and shows them the teeth. The puffball struggles to bite Sam. She tosses it aside. Sam says they didn't get lost, they were led here.
Sam points down the path into the forest. It’s thick and dark, but the path is clear. She says there's only one way to go. Beth is still skeptical. They rest with the fear of danger for a bit. Beth heads down the road. The others follow.
The women walk along the forest trail. They’re each alone in their thoughts. Beth creeps towards the side of the path, not paying attention to where she’s going. Several fuzzy vines reach down to grab her, unseen. She notices she’s almost off the path and veers back towards the center. The vines miss her. She doesn’t notice.
Juno points toward the forest ahead of them, saying they're almost done with it. None of them see that the fuzzy tentacles are in the trees above them. One of the vines grabs Sam by her arm. She screams. More vines reach for her. Juno and Beth turn and see a second vine grab Sam’s other arm. The vines are attached to a furry monster. It’s body is brown and cigar-shaped, its face prominently features a razor-sharp beak. It starts to lift her into the air, towards its mouth. Juno rushes forward, trying to pull the vines off of Sam. Other vines grab Juno. Beth finally moves. She’s able to stop one of the vines from grabbing Juno. But a different vine grabs her. All three women are held by vines. The vines grip them tighter.
Devin walks down the forest path. He’s far enough behind the women that they are out of sight. He carries a puffball. It snaps it’s teeth, trying to bite him. He laughs, as it can’t get to him. He hears Sam scream. He tosses the puffball into the forest and runs towards the sound.
Devin comes running upon the scene of Beth, Juno and Sam being pulled up by the vines. He pulls out a pocket knife and extends the blade. He rushes towards Beth and repeatedly stabs the first vine until it lets go and retracts.
Beth starts to slip. Devin grabs her by the waste and starts to pull her away from the vines. He hands Beth the knife and she repeatedly stabs the last vine until it lets her go. Beth and Devin fall to the ground. She lands on the dirt road. He flies past the edge of the road, into the forest. That side of the forest has a hill. He rolls down to the bottom. Beth gets to her feet and starts stabbing the vines holding Sam.
Near Devin, a furry worm-like creature lunges out of its hole in the ground and latches onto Devin’s leg with its toothless mouth. It sucks the leg in, foot first and pulls and pulls. Devin screams.
Beth has trouble hitting the vine, which actively dodges her. The vines continue to pull Juno towards the monster’s mouth. Beth looks from Sam to Juno to Devin; she can’t decide which to help first. She freezes. Devin screams. Juno yells.
A blast of green energy comes out of nowhere and blasts the body of the vine-beast. It drops the women and scurries away. They look up to see a human woman, Tatiana. She wears a puffy pink dress, a silver tiara and wields a magic wand with a star at the tip. Tatiana uses the wand to blast the creature swallowing Devin’s leg. The beast lets go and retreats back underground. Devin scrambles back onto the path.
The woman introduces herself as Tatiana, the Green Witch. Beth and Sam exchange a look. They are impressed.
Tatiana leads the group out of the forest and down the path. She tells them to follow her, she'll feed them. Sam says she's so hungry, she could eat a Muppet horse. Juno and Devin laugh. They make eye contact and it’s flirty. Beth notices.
Beth asks Devin how he got there. She catches up and puts herself between Devin and Juno. She says it's creepy he followed them. He says he only followed their directions. He got lost in the tunnels and ended up here. Beth is skeptical. Juno steps in and Beth backs down.
A rumbling sound comes from behind them. Devin is scared. The rumbling gets louder. Beth hurries to catch up with Tatiana. The rumbling gets even louder. The ground begins to shake. Tatiana says it's the Woooorm. She says if they stay still, it will pass if we let it. Everyone stops and stands still. The rumbling becomes a roar as the woooorm burrows closer to them. It breaks the surface and flies up from the ground. It’s a series of massive puffballs, connected in a long wormlike form. Its mouth is filled with large blunt teeth covered in dirt. It dives back into the ground and burrows away from them. Tatiana leads them towards a hut near another patch of forest.
Tatiana’s hut is a mix of things from our world: books, magazines, clothes; and a mix of things from this world: jars of ingredients, potions, strange cloth, cages with small creatures in them. Devin and Juno hungrily eat a stew with weird colors and shapes in it. Sam goes back to drawing in her sketch book. She has already drawn a puffball, now she’s working on a woooorm. Beth browses among the cages, looking at the various Muppet-like animals, reptiles, bugs and birds.
She comes upon a strange, uncaged bird, the Frumpet. It talks. Beth flinches in surprise. The others laugh. The Frumpet, which is the size of a large eagle, does a little dance. Everyone laughs. Beth sits down and eats from her bowl of stew. Using its beak, the Frumpet starts putting flowers in Beth’s hair. Beth flinches at first, but she calms down once she sees what it’s doing.
Juno notices that Tatiana is from Earth. She came to this world in 1972. With her husband, Maurice. He was killed. She has been back to Earth, but she prefers living here.
Sam turns to a new page and starts sketching the landmarks of Washington, D.C. Tatiana walks across the hut to a table covered in various papers and grabs a map.
Everyone is huddled around the map. Dishes from the meal have been cleared. Juno summarizes that they need to cross an active war zone, go through a swamp, find a castle and do whatever the queen wants us to in order to get a magic necklace that will open the way back home. Tatiana says she'll send the Frumpet with them.
Tatiana stands before the group, the Frumpet on her shoulder. Juno thanks her for her hospitality. Sam thanks her for the stew. Beth wishes they could repay her. Tatiana says it’s not necessary. There is no need for money in this land. Sam turns around and carefully tears the sketch of Washington, D.C., monuments. She hands it to Tatiana. The witch takes the picture and looks it over. Tatiana confirms Sam drew it. Tatiana thanks her. Sam joins the others and they walk down the road, away from the forest. The Frumpet flies after them. Sam looks back and the Frumpet flies to her and lands on her shoulder. Beth moves further away, but Sam likes the bird.
Juno leads the way, as always. Devin walks close to Sam, either playing with the Frumpet or flirting with Sam. Hard to tell. Sam’s ignoring him. Beth questions him. Sam defends him.
The forest gives way to grasslands, which give way to rolling hills. Everyone is growing more tired. Sam is hungry. Beth is thirsty. They’re at the bottom of the dip between two hills.
From over the hill, a loud explosion. They crest the top of the hill and gaze upon a massive battle field. The fighting is to the West, and not close. Before them are the signs of previous fighting: bloody Muppet body parts are everywhere, smoking craters, empty shells, troop movement obstacles, tank traps and debris.
Juno says they should get across the field quickly, before the fighting moves back this way. Juno walks forward. The others follow. After a few feet, Juno breaks off from the group and starts searching the ground. She finds a canteen. They debate whether it's poison or not. Sam grabs the canteen. She smells it. She shrugs and takes a big gulp. She says it's water. Juno takes a drink then passes it to Devin. He takes a big gulp. He offers it to Beth. She shakes her head.
Everyone turns to see Scadiator, a large, dark blue Muppet with horns on his head and tusks protruding from his mouth. Behind him are hundreds of various dark-furred Muppets of various shapes and sizes. They’re armed with real blades, guns, and other weapons. He accuses them of looting, but they say they were dying of thirst.
He walks closer, carrying a massive scythe. A real one, not a Muppet one. He ask if they are witches. And if they are good witches, they’ll join them in fighting the Dark. If they're bad witches, they’ll be dead. He lifts the scythe towards Juno’s neck. Beth says they aren't witches. Scadiator lowers the scythe and walks towards Beth. Scadiator clearly doesn’t know what a human is. He thinks humans are stupid because they follow a Frumpet.
Juno leads the way across the battlefield, covered in blood and Muppet body parts. A squad of lighter-colored Muppet show up. They look fun and nice, except for the blades and axes and such. A Muppet archer fires a flaming arrow that lands close to Beth. The Muppets charge at them.
Sam points to the group of dark-furred Muppets led by Scadiator. They’re rushing at the light-colored Muppets, firing their guns, yelling and screaming. The light-colored Muppets turn to face them. The two sides clash. Blood squirts as Muppet slaughter ensues. Juno starts running for the edge of the battlefield. This time everyone follows her. They run as Muppet screams of pain carry across the battlefield.
Juno leads everyone quickly past the edge of the battlefield and away from combat. They move through another grassland area, a few puffballs fly at them, but no one is in any danger. They approach the edge of a swamp. The plants are thick and made of Muppet felt. There are some solid patches of land mixed among pools of water.
Devin asks if they trust the Frumpet. Beth asks if they trust Devin. He asks why she has a problem with him. He turns and walks into the swamp. Beth smiles. Everyone follows Devin.
Juno is back in the lead. She steps from one dry spot to another, stepping over pools of water. Devin, the Frumpet, Sam and Beth follow, in order. As they move along, they notice Muppet Venus flytraps. They are as tall as a pre-teen human and have mouths filled with razor-sharp teeth.
Beth passes the others to catch up with Juno. Juno looks towards the Frumpet. She doesn’t notice one of the Venus flytraps leaning to bite her.
Juno turns to see the Venus flytrap attack her. She jumps out of the way. She bumps into Beth. Beth falls into the water. Juno jumps in an attempt to avoid falling in, too. She falls into a pit of quicksand. It is the color and consistency of oatmeal.
Beth reaches her hand out for Devin. Sam finds a stick and reaches it towards Juno. Devin stares at Beth for a moment. He makes a decision, then turns and runs.
Beth pulls herself from the water, back onto dry land. Sam gets the stick to Juno, who grabs ahold. Sam pulls, but Juno continues to sink. Beth moves closer and joins Sam. Beth grabs ahold of the stick. She and Sam pull as hard as they can. Juno starts moving. As she gets closer, Beth grabs Juno’s arms and pulls harder. Juno pulls on Beth’s arms. Beth loses balance a bit, but quickly regains it. Juno pulls free from the quicksand. She flies forward, knocking all three of them into the water. The Frumpet tells them the water isn't safe.
The women scramble to get back on dry land. They’re soaked and breathing heavily. Beth says Devin bailed on them. They stand up and start moving again.
The sun dips toward the horizon as Juno leads Sam and Beth to a ledge, just beyond the edge of the swamp. They cross a clearing to look over the edge. In the valley below, a massive castle made from Muppet felt rests. It's getting dark, so they decide to camp out and approach the castle in the daylight.
It’s dark now and the swamp is alive with strange Muppet-like sounds. Juno, Beth and Sam sit with their backs resting against each other for safety and comfort. Sam is already falling asleep. The Frumpet sleeps curled up in a ball on the ground. Beth starts to nod off herself. A Muppet snake approaches her. She doesn’t see it at first, but once it’s close enough to strike, it rises into position. Beth screams and backs away from the snake. Sam falls over, away from the snake. She’s still asleep.
Juno scrambles to her feet. She tells Beth to keep the snake's attention on her. The snake stares at Beth. She locks eyes with it. It doesn’t notice Juno slip away. Juno picks up a long stick from the edge of the swamp. She circles around behind the snake. She picks up the snake with the stick and tosses both into the swamp. They land with a splash. Beth starts breathing again.
A short sword comes from behind Juno and is placed against her throat. Beth sees a dark blue Muppet Warrior holds the sword. Behind him are a dozen more dark-furred Muppets, all armed. The largest of the Muppets is Hastagator, dark brown fur and horns on his head. It says they are on private land and are now prisoners.
The Frumpet wakes up. It yawns then looks around. Hastagator says kill the Frumpet. Another Muppet warrior moves towards the Frumpet. The Frumpet flies off. The warrior lunges at it, but is too slow. The Muppet warriors gather up the three women, putting them in felt shackles.
The Muppets lead the shackled women down a trail into the valley. They move towards the castle’s main gate.
In a dark dungeon, the Muppets lead the women to three different cells. The doors lock behind them. There are other cells, but they’re empty. Beth paces back and forth. Juno sits on her bed. Sam lies down. The Frumpet flies up and lands on Beth’s window sill. The Frumpet confirms they're in the right castle. They settle down for the night.
Juno, Beth and Sam stand in the Grand Hall, in shackles. The room is filled with hundreds of Muppets, all with dark-colored fur. At the head of the hall, Queen Krule sits on her golden throne. Her dark emerald fur glistening in the night. The crowd of Muppets cheers. Several of the larger Muppet guards grab the women and steer them towards the main exit.
Beth tells them to wait. Everyone pauses and turns towards Beth. She turns to face Queen Krule. She says they aren't trespassers. They’re friends with Tatiana the Green Witch. The queen says they are liars, Tatiana would never send anyone here alone. She would send the Frumpet as a guide and signifier. The Frumpet flies into the room with a squawk. The crowd cheers the Frumpet, who lands on the dais before the queen. The Frumpet confirms Tatiana sent them.
The queen asks them why she should help them? Juno steps forward and addresses the queen. Juno says if the queen help them, they will leave and never come back. The queen laughs. The other Muppets join her.
Juno rips apart the felt shackles. One of the guards rushes her. It swings a poleaxe at her, but it’s slow and clumsy. Juno ducks under the poleaxe. She rises back up and smashes the butt of her hand into the guard’s nose. It starts to gush blood. Juno sweeps her leg, taking the guard down. She rips the poleaxe from his hand as he falls. A second guard rushes Juno. She sweeps its thin legs with her poleaxe and the guard falls to the floor. Juno points her poleaxe at the guard’s face. The guard gives her his weapon. She tosses it to Beth. Juno plants her poleaxe on the ground and the two disarmed guards cower away from her. Juno says help them get home or they’ll be destroyed.
Sam raises her fist and threatens another guard. He cowers and hands her his poleaxe. The three women stand in a circle, back-to-back-to-back. The Frumpet flies over and lands between them. Beth says they need the necklace. The queen says one can’t be given the necklace, they have to earn it. The queen laughs an evil laugh. The Muppets cheer.
The Grand Hall is set up for a banquet. Long tables fill the room and the tables are filled with foods both familiar and unfamiliar. The queen welcomes them to the Grand Banquet in honor of the visiting guests. The Muppets cheer. The Frumpet eats some kind of roasted bird from the floor.
The queen says in observance of their grand traditions, the guests must complete three feats. If they succeed, they get the necklace and their trip home. If they fail, they will die. But first a last meal. The Muppets cheer.
The queen learns that Juno prepares warriors for battle, Beth helps one of the rulers of her land talk to each other, and Sam is an artist. The queen finds Juno and Sam's professions are honorable. But not Beth. The Muppets cheer.
Everyone has moved to an open-air courtyard at the center of the castle. The Muppets line the four walls, offering no escape or exit. At one end sit Queen Krule and her court. At the other end are racks of weapons and athletic equipment. Before the Queen stand Juno, Beth and Sam. The Frumpet sits on Sam’s shoulder.
Queen Krule begins the challenge. She says the first feat is for one player. Sam must defeat the queen's team at Wall Ball. The Muppets cheer. They part along the West-most wall, leaving a play area. A MUPPET brings forth a small bucket holding what look like orange racquetballs. Sam was good at the game in middle school. The Muppets cheer. Sam grins. The Frumpet flies up and out of the courtyard.
Sam is lined up beside Binky, Sleepy, Corky and Gordo, opposite the bare wall. Sam looks over and smiles at her competitors. They scowl and frown.
Sam grabs a ball and gets set. The queen is giddy with excitement. Sam smiles as she steps into her throw. It hits the wall and bounces back. It lands short and Corky catches it. The Muppets cheer.
Corky throws cleanly, hitting the wall. The ball bounces twice before Binky grabs it. Binky almost falls after reaching low and the crowd groans. Binky throws and the ball hits low on the wall, it ricochets off the ground and goes high in the sky. Gordo is the tallest and grabs it. He almost drops it, juggles it a bit, then catches it. The crowd awwws.
Gordo throws the ball off-balance. It bounces once before hitting the wall and bouncing back short of the players. Gordo takes off running for the wall. Sam and Sleepy race for the ball, which is now rolling. Sam grabs the ball then throws it, pegging Gordo in the back.
Gordo stands against the wall, his butt facing the players. Sam takes the ball and stands near the bucket. She throws the ball and hits Gordo in the butt. He walks away from the game, dejected. The crowd gives him courtesy applause.
Sam picks up the ball and returns to the bucket. She throws again, hitting the wall. The ball bounces once, then Binky catches it. Binky throws the ball and it sails high. It bounces with an upwards trajectory and Sam catches it. Binky takes off for the wall. Sam easily pegs the Muppet as he runs by. Sam takes the ball towards the bucket. Binky stands butts up. Sam nails him in the butt. Binky walks off to polite applause. Sam gets the ball and returns to the bucket.
Sam throws the ball. It hits the wall, then bounces twice before Corky grabs it. Corky throws the ball, but he’s too small and it bounces before it hits the wall. Corky runs for the wall screaming, his hands to the sky, Muppet-style. Sam and Sleepy run for the ball. Sam is quicker, but she fumbles the ball. Sam takes off running for the wall. The Muppets go crazy.
Sleepy grabs the ball and nails Sam in the side. Corky reaches the wall safely. The crowd explodes with excitement. Beth and Juno are crestfallen
Sam stands against the wall, butts up. Sleepy readies to throw the ball. Corky looks on with glee. The queen smiles. Sleepy winds up. He throws the ball. But his tiny red arm isn’t strong enough and the ball bounces before it hits the wall. Sleepy both run towards the wall. But Sam is MUCH faster and easily reaches the ball before Sleepy reaches the wall. Sam throws the ball at the wall, barely beating Sleepy.
Sleepy stands butts up. Sam throws the ball, nailing the tiny Muppet in the lower back. Sad, Sleepy mopes back into the crowd.
Sam stands by the bucket. Corky watches nervously. Sam throws the ball. It hits the wall and bounces. Corky tries to catch it, but fumbles it. He takes off for the wall. Sam grabs the ball and easily hits the Muppet. The crowd and the queen are shocked.
Corky stands butts up. Sam easily hits him in the butt. The queen shrieks in frustration. The crowd boos. Juno, Beth and Sam celebrate. The queen storms back to the Grand Hall.
Juno, Beth and Sam lie in their cell beds. The Frumpet sleeps on the foot of Sam’s bed. Beth congratulates Sam.
The Muppets line the walls of the courtyard again. Queen Krule sits upon her throne. She begins the challenge. The Muppets cheer. She says the second challenge is combat with a Muppet called the Great Zalingi. Beth steps forward to take the challenge.
The Frumpet flies in and lands on Juno’s shoulder. Juno and Sam are worried, but Beth says she's dated meaner. Juno and Sam laugh.
The queen stands before her throne. She raises her hand and begins the challenge, The queen drops her hand and the Great Zalingi rushes at Beth. He’s pretty slow, though, so she easily dodges. She turns to face Zalingi. The Muppet rushes at her again.
She dodges again. She clasps her hands into one big fist and smashes it into Zalingi’s back. The Muppet stumbles a bit, but isn’t hurt. The Great Zalingi roars. He rushes at Beth again. She dodges again. As he goes by, she sticks out her leg and trips the Muppet. Zalingi falls face first onto the stone floor. The Muppets are shocked. Gasps fill the air. The Frumpet flies up and out of the courtyard.
At the queen's direction, Muppet guards roll out racks of weapons. One at each end of the courtyard. Zalingi grabs a large hammer, essentially a large stone block at the end of a stick. Beth grabs a longsword. Zalingi rushes at Beth. He brings the hammer down hard. Beth rolls out of the way. The hammer breaks into pieces.
Beth stabs at Zalingi with the sword. It goes through his stomach. He bleeds, but he isn’t particularly hurt. Zalingi laughs. A deep guttural laugh. Beth leaves the sword in Zalingi’s stomach. She runs to get away from the giant.
Zalingi grabs a halberd from the weapons rack. He smiles as he gives chase. Zalingi swings the halberd, but Beth ducks under it. Juno and Sam cheer. Zalingi swings the halberd back in the other direction, slicing Beth across her stomach. It’s not deep, but it bleeds.
Beth runs towards the queen. She stops in front of the throne and faces the Great Zalingi. The Muppet roars, then rushes at Beth. Beth gives a wry smile. Zalingi approaches with the halberd stuck out in front of him. Beth sidesteps it and grabs the halberd. She yanks it towards the ground, planting the blade in the stone ground. She uses Zalingi’s momentum to launch the Muppet at the queen. The crowd gasps. Everyone is unhurt. Beth pulls the longsword from Zalingi’s body as he tries to get up. The queen is enraged.
The Muppet climbs off of the queen. He turns to face Beth. He roars. The crowd roars as well. The Zalingi’s roar falls short as Beth severs the Muppets head with the longsword. The crowd goes silent. Beth pumps her fist. Juno and Sam Cheer. The queen frowns and goes back inside the castle.
Juno, Beth and Sam lie in their cell beds again. The Frumpet sleeps at the foot of Sam’s bed. Beth says she grew up in D.C., where she learned to fight. Juno wonders what her feat will be. The other women support her.
Juno steps forward for her turn. Beth and Sam look on. The Frumpet isn’t present. The Muppets line the walls of the courtyard again. Queen Krule sits upon her throne. She begins the challenge. The Muppets cheer.
The queen says the final challenge is to beat a human champion, Devin. The Muppets cheer. Beth and Sam encourage Juno to beat him.
Devin puts his arms up in protest. He says he won't hit a girl. Juno moves close, her fists up. Juno says this woman can hit him. He punches Juno in the face. She is able to dodge a bit, but he still scores a glancing blow. The Muppets cheer.
Devin grins. Juno closes on him again, not breaking eye contact. Her fists are in front of her face now, she won’t be caught off guard again. Juno raises her foot up and brings it smashing at a downward angle into Devin’s kneecap. It breaks badly. Devin screams. He falls to the ground in agony. The Muppets are aghast. The queen gives a small smile of approval. Beth and Sam hug Juno in celebration. The queen exits.
The Grand Hall is once again set up in banquet mode. The queen’s table is wider now, with seats added for Juno, Beth and Sam. The queen begins the banquet. The Muppets cheer.
Everyone digs into their meals. The Frumpet walks along, begging each guest for food. The queen finishes her meal. She wipes her mouth with a napkin and stands up. She bangs her fork on her glass to get everyone’s attention. The crowd quiets down.
The queen calls for the necklace. The Muppets cheer. A Muppet guard brings a bejeweled necklace out, carrying it on a velvet pillow. She calls for the champions to step forth. Juno, Beth and Sam stand up. They walk around to the front of the table.
She hands the pillow to Juno. The women smile as the Muppets cheer. The Frumpet stops eating and walks over to examine the necklace. Juno thanks her.
Sam reaches out carefully and touches the necklace. She quickly withdraws her hand. She’s disappointed when nothing happens.
The queen waves her hand and several Muppet guards bring the women halberds. The women take the weapons.
Several Muppets bring Devin into the room. He’s in shackles. His leg is wrapped in a metallic brace. He can walk, but not without help. The queen asks what they should do with him.
Juno, Beth and Sam huddle together and decide. Beth tells them to jail him for two days, then set him free. The queen agrees, then the Muppets drag him away.
The queen also gives them camping gear and provisions. The Muppets cheer. The women put their weapons with the gear and take their seats. More food is carried in and placed on the table.
The three women have made it through the swamp and across the battlefield without incident. They now traverse the grasslands that lead to the cave. A rumbling sound comes from ahead of them. The Frumpet flies high in the sky. The rumbling gets louder.
The rumbling gets even louder. The ground begins to shake. The rumbling becomes a roar as the woooorm burrows closer to them. It breaks the surface and flies up from the ground. It’s a series of massive puffballs, connected in a long wormlike form. It’s mouth is filled with large blunt teeth covered in dirt. It dives over the road and back into the ground. It burrows away from them and disappears from view again. The rumbling continues.
The Frumpet flies around, trying to follow the path of the woooorm. Juno starts to run. Beth and Sam start running, too. They run for a while, the rumbling starts to die off. At first. Then it comes back, louder and louder.
Juno stops running. They're tired, she says they have to fight. The three women stand back-to-back-to-back, halberds ready to strike. Beth spots it and calls out it's on the right. The woooorm once again jumps over the road and disappears into the ground on the other side. While it’s in the air, Juno swings her halberd, barely nicking it. She checks her halberd and sees that she has drawn blood.
Everyone settles back into position. The rumbling continues nearby. The woooorm leaps out of the ground. Sam slices the air with her halberd. She misses and the woooorm goes back underground.
They return to ready position and wait. Sam spots it first. Sam points to the spot where the woooorm breaks the ground. It leaps parallel to Juno. She brings her halberd down at the exact center of it’s body. It falls to the ground. Both haves are alive and have giant mouths. Each new wooorm is four puffballs long. Both wooorms burrow into the ground.
Sam says to stab them, not slice them. One of the wooorms leaps out of the ground near Sam. She stabs it right in the center of it’s rear puffball. The stabbed puffball squeals and falls to the ground dead. The three puffball woorm burrows back underground.
They stand in ready position and wait. Juno kills the last single puffball. Beth and Sam pull their halberds from other dead puffballs. They head down the road again, double-time.
Juno, Beth and Sam arrive at the pile of rubble blocking the cave entrance. Waiting for them is Devin. He walks with a leg brace and cane. He points an old-fashioned flintlock pistol at them. He just wants to go home, but they say he can't come with them.
He points his gun at Juno and demands the necklace. Sam says the gun is too old and will backfire.
Devin pulls the trigger. The gun explodes, taking his hand with it.
A group of Muppet Guards arrive riding Muppet horses. They dismount and slowly approach Devin, who lies in a ball crying. The Muppets put Devin on a horse and ride away.
Juno leads Beth and Sam to the cave. Beth takes the necklace from the pillow. She puts it on and fastens it. The Frumpet tells her to say the magic phrase. She does.
A small rock falls from the pile and trickles to the ground. The women back away from the pile of rubble. Another rock falls. Then another. A landslide of rocks fall, opening the way into the cave tunnels.
They give the necklace to the Frumpet. The Frumpet flies away.
Juno leads Beth and Sam into the train tunnels. But things don’t look the same. There are Muppet vines and furry grasses everywhere.
They arrive at the Columbia Heights station and climb onto the platform. They take a good look at the station and see nothing but Muppets. No humans, only Muppets. Juno, Beth and Sam run across the station and run up the escalator.
The entire world has changed. No people, only Muppets. No grass, only fur. No plants, except those made of felt. The Muppets stare with menacing looks. A Muppet Pteranodon flies over their heads, flashing a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth.
The women vow to fix things and run for a hiding place.