At Hoover Dam a mystical being known as The Visionary (Whoopi Goldberg) introduces us to a superhero named Bad-Ass Bitch (Leslie Jones). She faces off against a villain named The Global Warmer (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). She shoots icicles and he fights back with flame. He realizes he can't win. She insults him with jokes and he flies off embarrassed. Bad-Ass Bitch signs and autograph an then hops in the Bitchmobile, which is a too-small VW Bug, required by a sponsor.
She arrives at a remote location, the Bitch Cave, which is very well-hidden. The Visionary tells us this was once a world of heroes, but the villains have taken over and it's up to Leslie Jones to save two Earths.
We meet the Fantastic Five, of which Bad-Ass Bitch is the leader. The other members: Captain Immortal (Sean Bean), who has super strength, invulnerability and immortality; The Flaming Falcon (Sophie Turner), who has the cosmic power to control flame and fly; Man Mountain Momoa (Jason Momoa) has the strength, invulnerability and brains of a mountain; Water Woman (Maisie Williams) who can transform into and control water, talks to shellfish.
Captain Immortal is a misogynistic douchebag. Water Woman refuses to wear a new skimpy team costume. The Five Signal goes off and they leave for a mission, which takes them to Yankee Stadium. The Visionary introduces the Evil Brotherhood of Death and Destruction: Kaos Theory (Richard Madden), The Global Warmer, Ms. Magazine (Lena Headey), The Dragonrider (Emilia Clarke), Roller Baby (Kit Harington), Mr. Expendable (Peter Dinklage), Judge Dread (Isaac Hempstead Wright).
Dragonrider rejects the name and power set and walks out. She comes back in as Star Warrior.
Bad-Ass Bitch leads the Fantastic Five into battle against the Brotherhood. The heroes gain the upper hand, but Bad-Ass Bitch turns on the heroes. She uses the Crimson Crystal, which is strapped to some kind of apparatus, to disintegrate the other members of the Fantastic Five. Afterwards, the Brotherhood turns on Bad-Ass Bitch and they disintegrate them, too. The Visionary notes that this world has lost its heroes and needs a new one. She sings karaoke. Quite well.
The Visionary reveals we're on another Earth. On this Earth, the real Leslie Jones goes to the Sorry (Not Sorry) night club to find a man for the night. The bouncer gives her trouble, but she intimidates him and he lets her in. Inside, a smooth operator buys her a drink and pick her up. She takes he drink and brushes him off. She meets some celebrity friends, but they're all busy. She finds a strange phone on a couch and stuffs it in her purse when an attractive man, Mandingo, joins her. They flirt and he is very much her type. For tonight, at least. They go to her place.
The next morning, she does a wake and bake and then kicks the dude out, despite his repeated attempts to stay, although she does let him go down on her one more time. Later, he's gone and she gets out of the shower. The strange phone she found at the club rings. She answers it and it zaps her and she disappears from this Earth.
Leslie wakes up naked on Earth 2, but she doesn't know it. She runs away when bystanders recognize her and ask her to save them. She ducks into a thrift shop and puts on clothes. The proprietor asks how she's going to pay when Roller Baby attacks. The space inside the thrift shop is too tight, so Roller Baby has trouble getting to Leslie. When a panel falls on her, he jumps on top. Leslie begs the proprietor to help her and he does. She gets up and is ready to fight him. He attacks and she trips him with a hockey stick. He crashes into the wall and she beats him badly enough that he runs off.
Leslie is taken to the Hall of Death and Destruction, home of the Evil Brotherhood of Death and Destruction. Roller Baby takes a blood sample from Leslie and takes it for testing. He returns and all but the leader are present. Ms. Magazine begins the questioning and threatens to kill Leslie over her attitude. They learn that they have no use for Leslie. Judge Dread arrives and takes the leader's seat. They know she isn't from this Earth and has no powers, but they offer her a gig filling in as Bad-Ass Bitch. She says no and they throw her in the dungeon.
Leslie sleeps in a holding cell until Judge Dread visits her. He reveals that he is really Isaac , from her Earth. He came here to escape the fans. He offers to be her sidekick, but she demures. He frees her and gives her the advice to "call for help" when it's necessary.
The Brotherhood discusses what to do with Leslie Jones. They agree to kill her. Again.
Now free, Leslie passes a restaurant with food in the window and realizes she's very hungry. She sees an NYPD officer arresting a thief for using an eyeball to access an ATM. She ducks inside the restaurant to avoid the cop. Inside Leslie learns that people pay for things with an eyeball scan, which accesses people's bank accounts. Leslie accesses Bad-Ass Bitch's account and learns out that she is a billionaire. She buys ALL the food. Mr. Expendable shows up in disguise and is her new contact. He pretends to be a hero called "The Accountant." He knows where her house is and he takes her there. It's called the Compton Castle and once Mr. Expendable drops her off there, she kicks him out, says she'll meet him in the morning.
Leslie tours the house, which is a super fancy mansion with a home theater, dance floor, tennis courts and a hedge maze.
Leslie researches herself online and finds: An interview with Jimmy Fallon that shows Bad-Ass Bitch has the same background as Leslie. A music video called "Bowls, Bowls, Bowls," by Bad-Ass Bitch. A video for "The U.E.S." A video for a song called "Swap Meet Kimono featuring Queen Latifah." Leslie gets super excited that she dueted with Latifah. An interview with Wendy Williams confirming that Bad-Ass Bitch wasn't dating anyone. An interview with Jimmy Kimmel showing that Leslie and Bad-Ass Bitch had the same pre-fame jobs. Bad-Ass Bitch used to sell weed to Guillermo. A right-wing nut named Alex Watkins who says that everyone should get guns, even though the supers are invulnerable to guns. Supers Hub with porn related to supers. Leslie finds a Bad-Ass Bitch sex tape and masturbates to it.
Leslie wakes up the next day and calls Mr. Expendable and tells him she's ready. She goes to the address he gives her and it takes her to the Magical Treehouse of Justice, a magical treehouse that is much bigger on the inside than out. When she arrives, he tells her that this Earth is almost exactly like hers, with only a few changes; she'll know the same people and have the same fingerprints and all that. Megan Rapinoe comes by and welcomes Leslie to the revolution. Colin Jost and Michael Che join them, as well. Jost and Che show everyone their super powers, which aren't that helpful. Mr. Expendable tells her she has to find a list of components in order to create the device to go home.
Leaving the Treehouse, Leslie runs into Kyle Mooney. On this Earth, he and Leslie were a serious thing. He's upset that he thought she was dead. She tries to explain it away. They go to a diner and Kyle reveals that their relationship was a secret. She gets rid of him by sending him to find rhubarbs so the diner can make a pie.
Leaving the diner, Leslie sees Star Warrior fucking with some humans. Bystanders note that Star Warrior isn't as bad as Bad-Ass Bitch, who everybody has a negative story about, it seems. She realizes that the version of her from this Earth was an asshole and has left people in the clutches of the villains. She HAS to help. She goes back to the Magical Treehouse, where Olivia Rodrigo has joined the team.
They try to figure out what to do about the villains and learn that they can only be hurt by girls and women, men can't harm them. Megan suggests they focus on teamwork and this inspires Leslie to gather up all the women and girls who might be able to help them. They travel around the world asking all kinds of women and girls to join them and everybody's in. Madonna and a bunch of pop singers show up to help. They even recruit high school football and soccer players. Next they visit RuPaul and gather a bunch of queens to join the team. After leaving RuPaul's studio, they are joined by a group of trans women.
Their last stop if 30 Rock, where they're trying to recruit even more women. They split up and Leslie comes across her co-stars from Ghostbusers, Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Chris Hemsworth. She explains the adventure to them and they all decline. Chris says HE could help and Leslie takes him in another room and they have sex. He's not sure how that helps, but she assures him it does. Lorne Michaels stops by and says that them working together is a bad idea, but maybe they should try calling Seth Meyers.
Everybody assembles at the Treehouse before they go into battle. Leslie gives a speech rallying everyone around what they're about to do. She reveals that she's from another Earth and that the Leslie of this Earth was evil. Everyone is still on board. Olivia asks why more men aren't involved. Leslie says they did, but explains the villains invulnerability to men. Che and Jost offered to help and Leslie thanks them. She says something naughty about Jost and he says his wife is present. Leslie apologizes to Scarlett Johnasson, but she's okay with them flirting. Since Leslie is from another Earth, Scarlett says it doesn't count. Leslie takes her at her words and she and Jost go have sex. Jost emerges from the sex looking like the Rock. Leslie makes sure that she and Scarlett are okay and Scarlett is excited about her husband looking like the Rock. Leslie says one other man is there to help with the plan, Steve Kornacki.
As he's about to explain the plan, Ms. Magazine attacks, blowing a hole in the wall. Leslie screams profanity in fear and her teammate Amanda Gorman shames her for it. Leslie apologizes and searches for the appropriate language to use for the kids that are watching. Ms Magazine goes back outside and finds Kaos Theory waiting as well. They attack the girls and women. Megan swings on a pipe and knocks the Global Warmer out. Leslie tries to do the same to Roller Baby and fails spectacularly. She still manages to hurt him enough so they can escape.
That night, Leslie has everyone join her at the Compton Castle and they have a bit of a party with all kinds of famous guests. Leslie has a flirty but chaste encounter with Megan. Kyle Mooney arrives, carrying a gun. He calls out Colin Jost and gets upset to find out that Colin now has The Rock's body. He tries to shoot Jost/The Rock, but Leslie knocks the gun out of his hand and the capture him and tie him up.
Leslie accidentally finds the entrance to the Bitch Cave and they go inside. Leslie learns that the president wants to see her and they leave. A smaller contingent arrives at the White House and it is being repainted Black. They go inside and the president is Kevin Hart. Hart says he can send the military to take care of the villains, but she explains the gender thing. He says he has her back, re-election is coming up.
The villains wait for Judge Dread, who doesn't show. Ms. Magazine moves over to his throne and takes charge. She says they need to attack the heroes immediately or all their plans will go to waste. But first a debate about Robert's Rules of Order.
The villains come outside. Leslie and friends are ready, but not that many others have shown up. Megan assures her they'll come. Leslie remembers Isaac's advice to call for help. She pulls out the weird phone and dials it. It gives her a menu of various commands like "call the police" and "call and ambulance." One of them, however, allows her to supercharge all sporting equipment in the area into superweapons. But it will require the components that Leslie needed to get home.
She initiates the procedure at the same time that all the other girls and women arrive. Soccer player Sam Mewis kicks a supercharged ball that hurts Ms. Magazine, but doesn't take her out. Che makes a raunchy joke and Leslie tells him not to because kids could be watching. She offers to cut him in on the merchandising if he tones it down. He agrees.
Kaos Theory uses his powers and everyone else's powers go haywire. An errant blast hits Olivia Rodrigo and she is poisoned. Leslie calls for help, but everyone is occupied. EXCEPT Agent J-Lo, an interdimensional superspy, arrives to help them. She has antidote that saves Olivia. Agent J-Lo tells them that Ms. Magazine is addicted to games and can't refuse one if offered. They challenge Ms. Magazine to a game of Pyramid. She agrees.
Ms. Magazine goes over the rules of today's game. Losers surrender to the winners. Leslie complains that the game will be unfair, but Ms. Magazine says they have an impartial judge. It's Dolly Parton and everybody is good with that. Playing for the Bad Guys are Kaos Theory, the Global Warmer, Ms. Magazine, Star Warrior, Roller Baby and Judge Dredd! The other team is: Leslie Jones, Megan Rapinoe, Agent J-Lo, RuPaul, Laverne Cox and Amanda Gorman.
Kaos Theory gets an easy topic and Ms. Magazine gets the villains out to an early lead. Dolly names Leslie's team the Good Girls. RuPaul gives for the girls and gets an easy category that Megan correctly guesses.
In round 3, the score is tied 2-2. Ms. Magazine gives for the villains. She gives "ways to kill a teammate" and her teammates get it, but now they don't trust her after her enthusiasm for the topic. Amanda Gorman gives for the Good Girls and the topic is "aliens who have ACTUALLY invaded Earth 2." Leslie complains about the category, but they lose the round.
In round 6, Star Warrior gives on the topic "Things That Happened on Game of Thrones," but she and her teammates don't have the show on this Earth, so they get no questions right.
Leslie gives, they get "Game of Thrones characters." She makes it hard for a few seconds before giving answers that Agent J-Lo instantly gets. The Good Girls win! Heroes celebrate. Villains pout.
Leslie and Agent J-Lo share a drink in celebration. They lament Earth 2's lack of "Game of Thrones." Agent J-Lo says the rest of the multiverse is worse.
In the press room of the Treehouse, Leslie announces to reporters that she's going to her home dimension. She says they are in good hands with the many women who live there.
Leslie is back at the Compton Castle, depressed that she can't get home. On TV, Joy Reid thanks her for saving everyone. A vision of Dolly Parton shows up and points her towards the video of Seth Meyers' at his in-laws house. Dolly is a nexus being and Leslie realizes that's the way home.
Leslie goes to Seth's in-laws' house and asks about the little door in the attic. Seth reveals it's a portal, that Seth is a nexus being, that all talk show hosts are nexus beings, collectively known as the Jimmies. She goes through the portal and goes home.
Leslie goes back to Sorry (Not Sorry) and the bouncer gives her no trouble. She runs into this Earth's Kyle Mooney and it's awkward.
Leslie leaves and runs into a frantic Isaac Hempstead Wright. He has something to tell her, but she runs away, saying she's not leaving Earth 1 ever again. The Visionary returns to credit Leslie with saving both Earths.
A post-credits scene reveals that Bad-Ass Bitch is alive. But she's actually evil and her true name is Cold-Ass Bitch.