“No More Battle Raps,” by Professor Rex
I've written hundreds of rhymes attacking whack rappers, AK strappers
Or bragging and boasting on my skills, see
But I'm done going after MCs, anyone can see
Those types of words, while fun, get nothing done
I'm gonna focus my talents on making changes, elevating the game
Musically, politically, personally, philosophically
But that's going to wait till after I'm done singing this song
It might be wrong, but I'm gonna use the rest of my battle rhymes in these versus
These curses, then I'll move on, but wait a bit, this won't take long
The differential between you and me is consequential
And I won't keep its potential confidential
Time is over for me to be deferential
About the exponential, existential difference in our credentials
It's essential that you understand the potential
Of the influential rhymes I write
You need to be reverential
Realize that you're inconsequential
But it's not your fault you ain't influential
I listened to your entire album and I had a boregasm
I get it, you're sad
I'm glad you realize that in order to be more civilized
You need not demonize or falsely try to equalize
But you can't get there alone
So let me bust a few bars until you're hypnotized
And you visualize where real hip hop lies
You're clogging up the airwaves with ignorant shit
You're disrespecting women with ignorant hits
You're not just insane, your insanable
Your rhymes aren't just in vain
They're unstable, they're mislabeled
You fell from the top like Tiger Woods
But the worst part is you never even had the goods
So I hear you're the king of New York
Great city, but it's one city
Come back when you're king of a hemisphere or two, true?
I could give you a humblebrag
Save your feelings
Let you think you have swag
That your brain isn't bleeding
That your mind isn't slag
And a rhyme doctor isn't what you're needing
You think you're all Gangnam style
But you're more like Psy
People seem to like you
But they don't know why
I'm not gonna say your name, like you were Voldemort
When it comes to luxury verses, you're Polo Sport
You need to go to a hip hop Hogwart's and learn some magic
Before you jump on stage and learn your life is tragic
You don't know when to quit, you're an afterclap
Go visit Urban Dictionary if you don't understand that
You're the bizarro Jay-Z, the opposite of hustlin
I know your tired and scared, you keep on strugglin
People hear your first 140 characters and don't need to hear more
They're done, regardless of what you thought you had in store
I've had it with these motherfuckin fakes on these motherfuckin mics
You're so green, you need training wheels on your lyrical bikes
They say that nobody beats the Biz
But you can't even beat the Wiz
To you Black and Yellow is about as complex as
A French version of Inception is
There's no there there, like your name was Whitewater
Changing your style like a Rorschach ink blotter
You remind me of MC Karl Rove
You rhyme like Barack Obama bowls
You just found out your girlfriend sucked 37 dicks in a row
But not yours, you know, I know it's not funny, like MC Run
You're so talented your Jenga tower is crashing down on block one
I'ma beat you like Obama playing basketball
You won't even try to win
Taking it easy, you don't wanna fall
Scared to be crushed by all this
I don't even need the Secret Service
You dropping block rhymes as exciting as Tetris squares
If you're a Facebook post, you got like two shares
Eatin dots like Pac-Man, your rhymes are wac man
People playing my songs like Guitar Hero
Your total Reverb Nation plays are stuck at zero
I see your name when I Google most annoying sounds in the world
You are to hip hop what Coke Zero is to squirrels
When it comes to you, RSS means "really stupid songs"
You rap like high jumpers suck bongs
I'd say you're dumb like Jar Jar Binks
But I don't want to insult Jar Jar, let's think
Your songs are like the prequels
Mine are like the sequel
I'm striking back like the Empire
But there's no Return if you're the Jedi
But I know you want to capture my fire