“Paul Revere,” by Professor Rex
Now here's a little story that I've got to tell
About three bad brothers you know so well
It started way back in history
With Obama, Billy Clinton, and me - Rex, T.
Been had a little horsey named Paul Revere
Just me and my horsey and a quart of beer
Riding across the land, kicking up sand
Sheriff's posse on my tail cause I'm in demand
One lonely Professor I be
All by myself without nobody
The sun is beating down on my baseball hat
The air is gettin' hot, the beer is getting flat
Lookin' for a girl I ran into a guy
His name was Billy Clinton, I said, "Howdy" he said, "Hi"
He told a little story that sounded well rehearsed
Four days on the run and that he's dying of thirst
The brew was in my hand and he was on my tip
His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry he asked me for a sip
He said, "Can I get some?"
I said, "You can't get none!"
Had a chance to run
He pulled out a spanking shotgun
He was quick on the draw I thought I'd be dead
He put the gun to my head and this is what he said,
"Now my name is Billy Clinton, got a license to kill
I think you know what time it is it's time to get ill
Now what do we have here an outlaw and his beer
I run this land, you understand I make myself clear."
We stepped into the wind he had a gun, I had a grin
You think this story's over but it's ready to begin
"Now I got the gun and you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me"
I said I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border
The sheriff's after me for what I did with his daughter
I did it like this, I did it like that
I did it with a whiffleball bat (consensually)
I'm on the run the cop's got my gun
And right about now it's time to have some fun
Professor Rex that is my name
And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne
We rode for six hours then we hit the spot
The beat was a bumping and the ladies was hot
This dude was staring like he knows who we are
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar
Billy Clinton, "Yippie yo, you know this kid?"
I said, "I didn't," but I know he did
The kid said, "Get ready. This ain't funny
My name's Obama AND I'm about to get money."
Pulled out the jammy, aimed it at the sky
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor
He wasted two kids that ran for the door
"I'm Obama and I get respect
Your cash AND your jewels are what I expect"
Billy Clinton was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed Billy Joel and I punched him in the face
Billy Joel's out, the music stopped
Elton John kept playing, so he got dropped
Obama grabbed the money, Billy Clinton snatched the gold
I grabbed two ladies and a beer that's cold
(Original by the Beastie Boys)