“Planet Sara(h),” by Professor Rex
Now I know some of you are going to laugh at me for this one, but...
I need to find a Sarah
I mean I don't have any problems with Claras and Taras
But there's just something to me about a Sarah
It's not that I'll only date Sarahs
But to be fair, they are the women I find most fair
With or without mascara
Living like Christina Aguilera or Scarlett O'Hara
A little less Farrah or Erin, a bit more funny and smart
A tad more heart, more thoughtful, giving off an aura
I'm not sorry, there's no error
Now I don't love all Sarahs
And all Sarahs don't love me
But they all affect me a little magically
It's no dilemma, they're my ambrosia
I'm not trying to be like all casanova
Just when I meet a Sarah I want to get to know her
Welcome to Planet Sarah
Where every Sarah can change your life
Brighten your day, make you laugh
Return the favor, don't be a dumbass
They can wear anything from a tiara to a fedora
Wearing designer dresses or sweaters of angora
They can spend all day tanning on the riviera
Or grab a gun and fight the war on terror
They can have insane stamina or use their cerebella
Listening to Nirvana or singing along with Umbrella
They can drink anything from java to vodka
Single for life, or the world's best mama
They can conquer trivia or academia
Mastering yoga or dancing as a ballerina
They have tastes from papaya to vanilla
Go places from Vienna to Manilla
Rocking a cross, Darwin, or a menorah
Homeschooled, in mensa, or surviving off charisma
They can do whatever job they wanna
Modeling, acting, clerking or teaching algebra
Welcome to Planet Sarah
Where every Sarah can change your life
Brighten your day, make you laugh
Return the favor, don't be a dumbass
I like it when they wobble or do the cha-cha
Or eat Thai food with sriracha
I like it when they prefer Yogi Berra or Michael Cera
Whether their choice is Pepsi or coca cola
I like it when they get excited like Dora the Explora
Or when they get all up in arms about the Oxford Comma
I like it when they know how to vote on the referenda
Or can explain to me what is a protazoa
I like em whether they prefer marguertas or marijuana
I want to get to know them like encyclopedia britannica
I like it when they get into literary erotica
I want to master Sarah curricula
I like it when they're Spartans in Philadelphia
Or comedians and singers in Tallahassee
I like it when they examine patents in D.C.
I wanna know them and they wanna know me
Welcome to Planet Sarah
Where every Sarah can change your life
Brighten your day, make you laugh
Return the favor, don't be a dumbass