“The Phlebotomy,” by Professor Rex
I look like Cheech man...
There's a brand new dance craze taking the nation
Little green men brought it down from a spaceship
To do this shit right, you gotta be wasted
Turn off your brain, and get it eraseded
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Nope, stop, that's already been did and done
I'm not the one, to make you dance like before
I'm the one to make you come back for more and more
So you wanna learn to do this dance
Well you can't
Just kidding
Now get off your ass and get to work
This ain't the jerk, this ain't the twerk
We ain't gonna shimmy, we ain't gonna shake
Take off your clothes and jump in a lake
Then get out and grab a beer
Forget your worries and have no fear
Put your nose on your toes
Your hands in the air
Put your nose on your toes
Your hands in the air
Put your nose on your toes
Your hands in the air
Put your nose on your toes
Your hands in the air
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy uh uh
C'mon baby, let's do the Twister
Right foot red, left foot blue
Right hand yellow, left hand, too
Right foot green, left foot red
Take that right foot, put it on your head
Jump on the bed, fall to the floor
Crawl on the carpet, open the door
Even if you snore, we won't call you a whore
Go grab your friends, then grab some more
Now this dance takes at least 10 people
No not sheeple, not in the steeple
You're gonna skip church to do these steps
A little salt in your pepa, pep in your steppa
A little sugar in your brain, rum in your veins
Need to get ready, you gotta rock steady
You gotta put your legs behind your head
Once you start this dance, don't stop till you're dead
Hurricane, hurricane
Tornado, tornado
Mudslide, mudslide
El nino, el nino
Cyclone, clyclone
St. Elmo, St. Elmo
Dust devil, dust devil
La nina, la nina
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy uh uh
Okay, where were we
Forgot to dance, had to pee
Gotta shake it off, so I can move
Gotta snake my arms, and start to groove
Do the lumpy space princess, it's Adventure Time
Do the prison break, like you committed a crime
This dance is called the phlebotomy
You can do it for pay or do it for free
You can do it alone, or you can do it with me
Throw your hands in the air, put your tongue on your knees
Take both your elbows, put em in the fridge
Like Johnny Jones, jump off the Brooklyn Bridge
Circle the dance floor like Jeff Gordon
Climb the tower of London like a cockney King Kong
Take a little nap, you're probably quite tired
Fuck that, don't stop dancing till you retire
Do the Bubba Watson, do the Bubba Watson
Do the Torii Hunter, do the Torii Hunter
Do the Jimmy Kimmel, do the Jimmy Kimmel
Do the Morgan Freeman, do the Morgan Freeman
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy uh uh
Okay, okay, I hear you saying
Damn Rex, this shit is really hard
Could you pass out an instruction card
Or maybe make a step-by-step video
Hell no
The only thing you need to know
Is that it's time for the vodka to flow
It's time to make your eyeballs glow
It's time to start a one-person show
Take your ears and give 'em to your friends
Take your hair and throw it on the ground
The Phlebotomy is a global trend
A spectacle of sight and sound
Dance till no one else is around
Dance till you forget all your follies
Dance like you never lost the crown
Dance like Boutros Boutros Ghali
Do the Boutros-Boutrous Ghali
Do the Boutros-Boutrous Ghali
Do the Boutros-Boutrous Ghali
Do the Boutros-Boutrous Ghali
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy do do
Do do the phlebotomy uh uh
That is a tasty concoction!