Listen to the original version on Bandcamp

Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled rolling papers
Down at the corner store
Dime bag, zig zag, Phillie blunt
More fucking more fucking more

Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Flubber baby snuggy dumpers
Pretty baby tourist humpers
Shitty baby forrest gumpers

Squier like Billy, Steve like Perry
AC to the DC in Washington DC
My mammoth is woolly, my jacket is fleecy
I used to know this kid named Ryan Creecy

I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop
When she sits, she hits
When she hits she shines
When she shines, she dreams
When she dreams, she screams

It's not about morality, it's all about reality
Leavin’ shit behind, bustin’ out my mind
Steppin’ over the line, snortin’ the line
Swingin’ on vines, be kind rewind
Steppin’ on land mines, feelin’ fine
Bein’ blind, outta wine
Outta my mind, outta time
Outta my mind, out of time

Next is the next is the next is the E
Floggy Molly is just a hobby holly
MDMA got you feeling like a champion
Getting super ill like King's Charles Campion

To sit in solemn silence in a dull dark dock
In a pestilential prison with a life long lock
I scream, you scream, we all scream for nice dreams
I cream, you cream, we all cream for tight genes

She sells seashells down by the seashore
She sells crack out the back of the store
Don't come before 10 o'clock, do the special knock
She gotta glock, she got rock in stock

She's a fox in some socks, ants in her pants
She'll make a little love, she'll do a little dance
When tweedle beetles battle in a bottle with a paddle
It's a tweedle beetle paddle puddle bottle battle

It's not about morality, it's all about reality
Leavin’ shit behind, bustin’ out my mind
Steppin’ over the line, snortin’ the line
Swingin’ on vines, be kind rewind
Steppin’ on land mines, feelin’ fine
Bein’ blind, outta wine
Outta my mind, outta time
Outta my mind, out of time

Can you can a can as a canner can
Can a can?
My dealer is a woman, yours is a man
Bills, bills, bills, wham bam thank you man

Snorting weed, smoking lines, dropping tabs, getting pissed
Fuck you Harris, I do exist
My agent said my money’s in Security First and National Trust
But I can't pay attention cuz I'm on that dust

What the shit am I talking about
My brain is on walkabout
I got 99 for my Klout
Shout, shout, let it all out

Shout, shout, heavyweight bout, got no doubt
Gwen Stefani, jam on it, ride the pony, Mony Mony
Hey, hey what, get laid get fucked
This song izdashit, check out my gravel pit

It's not about morality, it's all about reality
Leavin’ shit behind, bustin’ out my mind
Steppin’ over the line, snortin’ the line
Swingin’ on vines, be kind rewind
Steppin’ on land mines, feelin’ fine
Bein’ blind, outta wine
Outta my mind, outta time
Outta my mind, out of time

How much pot could a pot roast toast
If a pot roast could get roasted
How much toast could a toastmaster toast
If a toastmaster could get toasted

How can a clam cram in a clean cream can
How can the clan konklave in the cream corn
How can Kimberly Kane profit off of web porn
How can I get a crest on my head like Michael Dorn (he played Worff on Star Trek)

How much woodchuck could a woodchuck drink
If a woodchuck could drink woodchuck fuck
How many boards could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored

Mushroom mountain, chocolate fountain
Tip drill, road kill, Beverly Hills, purple pills
I've been to the motherfucking mountaintop
Watchin’ panties drop, escapin’ the cops, usin’ visine eye drops

It's not about morality, it's all about reality
Leavin’ shit behind, bustin’ out my mind
Steppin’ over the line, snortin’ the line
Swingin’ on vines, be kind rewind
Steppin’ on land mines, feelin’ fine
Bein’ blind, outta wine
Outta my mind, outta time
Outta my mind, out of time