Listen to the spoken word version on Bandcamp

In the age of paranoia
They're always out to get ya
Everything they say
Is designed to scare ya
Everything on tv
Is made to scare ya
Everything on the web
Is there to scare ya

Planet earth, rebirth, United nations, Good relations,
Starvation, radiation, salvation, education,
Violence, silence, Nigerian prince,
Wall Street, corporate greed, skunk weed, stampedes
...
Human Centipede

Continental drift, graveyard shift,
Airline food, wet firewood,
Flash floods, crips and bloods,
Baby boomers, brain tumors,
...
look at all these rumors

Capital punishment, disillusionment,
dissidents, abandonment, disfigurement, paying rent,
Pink slime, rampant crime,
outta wine, outta my mind,
...
outta my mind, out of time

Widspread panic, drivin and cryin,
drive-by truckers, stupid motherfuckers,
sunspots, evil robots, Dry rot,
...
raising up off the cot,

Mail fraud, stink bombs, barking dogs, raining frogs,
Bad acid, bad mojo, bad vibes, bad karma,
bad sex, bad jokes, Bad luck, pickup trucks, wax build-up,
two girls one cup,

Pollution, isolation, extinction, discrimination,
damnation, obsession,
mutually assured destruction,

electrocution, soil erosion, graduation, suffocation,
friction, diction, Dead at Dawn,
potholes on my lawn,

snooze button, missed connections, chain reactions, bomb explosions,
dashboard confessions, bad reception, bad decisions,
sneak attacks, super PACs, Muzak,
Scarab beetles, tattoo needles,
Meet the Deedles,

going on strike, riding my bike
...
with no handlebars, no handlebars

public speaking, public freaking, global warming, price fixing,
drowning, falling, robocalling,
freezing, choking, downsizing, outsourcing,
neo-Nazis, Joanie loves Chachi,

metal fatigue, bubonic plague,
card sharks, land sharks, artificial hearts
guns, gun lovers,
...Nuclear war,
I wanna take you to a gay bar,

dipshits, diphthongs, dumbbells,
drunk drivers, Cancer, dull scissors, broken zippers,
evil neighbors, prowlers, Alzheimer's, Disasters,
Gamblers, Pushers, failure, murder,
bipolar disorder,

pedophiles, Fires, liars, bald tires,
Losin friends, losin friends
...
Ya got nothin to lose
Ya dont lose when you lose fake friends...fake friends

Close talkers, stalkers, shot blockers,
ballers, shot callers,
North Korea, Afghanistan, Pakistan,
Iraq, Iran
Meth, molly, pot, crack, smack, coke,
...
Shit, this ain't no joke

Going broke, being the joke, mad cow, falling dow, broken vow
Androgyny, homosexuals, heterosexuals, bisexuals,
bitches and ho's,
sexism, Cynicism, terrorism, plagiarism,
conservatism, liberalism, anarchism, racism,

Common cold, getting old, black mold, black gold, fake gold, gotta fold
Angry birds, dirty words, freaks and geeks, guns and nuns,
Dynamite, parasites, snake bites, mosquito bites, termites, fright night
Unsafe at any speed,
angry molesting trees

Killer bees, killer fleas,
Lou Gehrig's got his own disease,
poverty, cruelty, apathy, envy, lost keys, Entropy, armed teens,
the Freshman fifteen,

bankruptcy, fertility,
...surgery, surgery,

Hair loss, tooth loss, hearing loss, killer frost,
...chaos, chaos

Runaway trains, chilled monkey brains,
bloodstains, clogged drains, acid rain,
gridlock, Doc Ock, Dr. Spock, viagra cocks,
Water spout, striking out, drought, gout, lockouts,
...
Dude can I take your daughter out

CIA, HIV, FBI, KKK,
PLO, PLAs, IRS, IRA,
NRA, NBA, MBA, NFL,
AFL, CIO, CPA, TSA,
Hey hey hey hey

Revolution, evolution, masturbation, flagellation,
Integration, mediation, United Nations, regulation
Repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition,
anyone, anyone, I'm done

In the age of paranoia
They're always out to get ya
Everything they say
Is designed to scare ya
Everything on tv
Is made to scare ya
Everything on the web
Is there to scare ya

Shit
What, me worry?