Charlie Sheen (With Footnotes)
/<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd">Core Nerd by Professor Rex</a>
Here is the fourth in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"
As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...
This time, for the song "Charlie Sheen."
The basic idea on this one was to take a lot of the crazy things that Charlie Sheen had been saying in the media at the time and turn them into lyrics. Almost every line in the song is based on a Sheen quote. Somehow in compiling the words in that way, it turned into some kind of empowerment anthem, which is very strange and was unintentional, but totally embraced after the fact. After each song excerpt is the original Sheen quote that inspired it and explanation, if necessary.
A disease is what you said I had I cured it with my brain, man, I ain't dead
"I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my brain, with my mind." The idea here is that there are some things that society says are "illnesses" that some people can handle or that some people can fix on their own, without the confines of programs like AA, which Sheen was sent to.
Who I am you just don't know
This one isn't a specific quote, but is related to numerous things Sheen said with the basic premise "you don't know me." It's kind of representative of things that most haters do, come to conclusions about people without knowing anything about them.
I'm battle-tested bayonets, bro
“I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.” The idea that one can handle pretty much anything that comes at you because you've already been through so much that you can handle anything.
I'm tired of pretending that I'm not winning
I'm tired of pretending that I'm not bitchin
"I’m tired, I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin and just delivering the goods at every frikin turn..." People are expected to be humble in any situation, no matter how successful they get. Sometimes, though, being humble is self-denigration and shouldn't be done.
This shit ain't ending,
I'm breaking down the bars
I can't find where these lines came from, but I assume that they come from a Sheen quote. The reference here is that no matter how much shit is thrown at the song's narrator, he/she continues to move forward and break out of his/her own prison and the prison that society has put him/her in.
I'm a total bitchin rock star from motherfucking mars
"I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars." What could be a more awesome job title than this one?
Banging seven gram rocks cuz that's how I roll
I got one speed, one gear, that shit says go
"I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go." Some people have a much higher tolerance for drugs and debauchery than others. Some people live life at a faster rate than the rest of us.
You can't understand me with a normal human brain
You can't comprehend me when I bring down the reign
"You can't process me with a normal brain." Pretty straightforward: I'm not like you and you can't even understand me.
Look what I'm dealing with, fools and trolls
"Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls."A diminishing of critics who the narrator doesn't feel are worthy of criticizing him/her.
Drop McDonalds, TMZ, your Us Weekly blues
"So just shut your traps and put down your McDonald’s, your magazines, your TMZ and the rest of it and focus on something that matters." Clearly these things, which are important to a lot of people, shouldn't be important.
I'm on the 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock, 11 o'clock news
Not a direct quote on this one, but considering how much Sheen was on TV at the time, totally appropriate.
I got no time for this, bring me Dr. Clown Shoes
"Bring me Dr. Clown shoes." Pretty unfathomable, yet entertaining, name to anoint a critic with.
You just don't believe in me I'm still winning
You don't see me, feel me I'm still winning
You don't know where I'm from I'm still winning
The game is almost over I'm still winning
The lead-in to the chorus isn't a direct quote, but tries to encapsulate the Sheen spirit. He constantly talks about how people don't understand what he's dealing with and that he's "winning" despite their dislike for him. This is meant to reinforce that concept.
I am on a drug
It's called Charlie Sheen
I am on a drug
I said it's called Charlie Sheen
"I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." Maybe one of the greatest quotes in town.
A new sheriff in town with an army of assassins
"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins." This is one of my favorite Sheen quotes. A new sheriff in town means that the old ways of doing things aren't going to work anymore. A change has come. The army of assassins is the group of friends, family and allies who support the person making the changes.
You have the right to kill me, but no right to judge me
"You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me." Put your money where your mouth is, don't just talk shit, confront the person rather than talk about them behind their back.
I'm gonna alter time, teleport off this rock
"When friends asked me, Can we help? I'd say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock." My take on the quote gives the narrator power.
I got 37 goddesses riding on my cock
Sheen calls his girlfriends "goddesses." The other reference here is a Kevin Smith allusion to the 37 men that Dante's girlfriend in Clerks had gone down on. The premise here is that no matter what you do or say about me, I'll still be winning and still attract the ladies.
I've got magic and poetry in my fingertips And most of the time, this includes naps
"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I'm an F-18, bro." The narrator is a creator, not just someone who passively accepts life. Even when he/she is taking a nap, they're more creative than the average person.
This song is a work of magic warlock art
"I'll make this a work of magic warlock art." The song is bragging that it is in the tradition of the "magic warlock art" that Sheen creates.
I got tiger blood flowing through my motherfucking heart
“I have Tiger Blood running through my veins.” The narrator is not like everyone else. He/she has the strength of a tiger because he/she is infused with tiger blood.
That's life, that's nobility, it's crystal and it's pure
"That’s life, there’s nobility in that, there’s focus, it’s genuine, it’s crystal and it’s pure and its available to everybody." The pursuit for art and hedonism and fun is more noble and pure than the other pursuits that people go after.
Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs
"Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs." One with tiger blood would naturally live longer than others and could figure out how to defeat even death.
My adonis DNA dominates any room
"I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people, people who aren't special, people who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA." What's more powerful than a tiger? A god. What god would you want to be? Maybe the god of beauty?
That's the whole movie, that's life, boom
"Boom, that’s the whole movie, that’s life." Everyone else is complicating their lives too much and pursuing the wrong things. The narrator is saying that his/her take on life is simple and a better way of doing things.
I got volumes on how not to behave
I got more info than guy should at my age
"I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age." Tiger blood has allowed the narrator to survive things that others couldn't and has given he/she a wisdom that most others can't obtain.
If at first you don't succeed, then fucking what
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?" Don't give up if you fail, but if you have tiger blood, you don't fail that often. You get things right the first time. If you do, what happens next?
Boom, crush, night losers, winning, duh
"Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh." How else would you end such a speech?
You just don't believe in me I'm still winning
You don't see me, feel me I'm still winning
You don't know where I'm from I'm still winning
This game is fucking over And I won
Same lead-in to the hook as before, but now the game is over and the narrator is no longer "winning," but has won.
I am on a drug
It's called Charlie Sheen
I am on a drug
I said it's called Charlie Sheen
I am on a drug
It's called Charlie Sheen
I am on a drug
It's fucking called Charlie Sheen
Repeat of the earlier chorus.