Ranking XXL's Freshmen Classes

So I read XXL Magazine's Freshman Class 2013 issue and I was really fascinated by the idea. For those that don't know what it is, every year for the past six years, the hip hop magazine has released an issue with its Top 10 newcomers for the year, giving them some free press and getting them new audiences. I really like the idea, even if the execution isn't particularly awesome.

This made me think of two things that I'm going to write about. The first is to go over the six freshman classes they've done so far and ranking the artists. It'll be a combination of how much I personally like the artists mixed with some measure of their success and output since they were recognized. A combination of subjective and objective rankings. The second thing would be to do a retroactive list of Freshmen for every year during the rap era. I'll do that second one later, for now I want to rank the classes...

(Take these with a bit of a grain of salt, though, since a lot of these rappers I've only heard a little bit from and some of them I'll be listening to for the first time while writing this. I'll update it in the future as I learn more).

2008

1. Lupe Fiasco: Seemingly, by far, the most successful member of the first class. I like him quite a bit. I like his style and I like songs like "Words I Never Said" and "Kick Push" quite a bit.

2. Papoose: I first heard of Papoose doing a track about a police brutality incident in NY and I loved the track. I've liked some of his other stuff, too, but I wouldn't say I love anything he's done, although I do keep listening, because he's far from whack.

3. Crooked I: Like his flow and his voice. I'm definitely going to listen to more after hearing "Dream Big" and "Pac and Biggie."

4. Saigon: Mostly know of him because of his appearances on "Entourage." The tracks I listened to, "Come on Baby" and "Ryders" were solid, but not spectacular. "Come on Baby" has a great beat and really takes off when Jay-Z comes in, but that's not a spectacular sign for Saigon.

5. Joell Ortiz: Not a bad writer, but his style doesn't stand out to me. He's far from terrible and "Hip Hop" isn't a bad track.

6. Lil Boosie: He's been pretty successful, but I tried listening to "Devils" and it didn't do anything for me.

7. Plies: I can't get past how much I dislike the production on the tracks I heard, "Bust It Baby Part 2" and "Shawty," although "Hypnotized" wasn't terrible. He doesn't seem to be horrible technically.

8. Gorilla Zoe: While I totally respect the idea of releasing a mixtape a day for an entire month, the tracks "Echo" and "Hood N*gga" really left me cold. They're really part of what I call the "lazy" trend in hip hop. Slow, awkward delivery, pointless lyrics that could've been delivered by anyone and nothing to stand out from any other song.

9. Rich Boy: Really don't like the choppy style and run-of-the-mill production on "Throw Some D's" and I hate songs about cars.

10. Young Dro: "FDB" and "Shoulder Lean" are even lazier than Gorilla Zoe.

2009

1. Kid Cudi: I'm not yet a massive fan, but I could be on the way since I've liked quite a few of his tracks, including "Day N Nite," "Poke Her Face," and several tracks off of "Indicud."

2. Blu: A much better sound than most of the 2009 class, I'm really interested in hearing a lot more of his sound, which is influenced by the genre that shares his name. His flow is pretty solid, too.

3. Asher Roth: Silly throwaway stuff, but "I Love College" and "Party Girl" are fun songs.

4. B.o.B: He's obviously massively successful, even if he leans very poppy. Although to be fair, he isn't exactly poppy in a bad way, more Justin Timberlake than Britney Spears. Teaming up with the likes of Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, and Morgan Freeman get him a boost and his response to "Control" was pretty strong, but then again, he did a song with Taylor Swift, so...

5. Charles Hamilton: "Brooklyn Girls" is a pretty awesome track, so it's hard to understand why such a prolific rapper has little to no mainstream stuff out.

6. Mickey Factz: He's pretty good on "Paradise" and as a guest on "I'm So Tall," but he really needs to step up the production schedule or risk being a footnote.

7. Ace Hood: He seems to have a lot of potential, but he's hanging out with people like Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, Future, Rick Ross and Wiz Khalifa, all of whom he's better than and bring him down on songs like "Body 2 Body" and "Bugatti," although he does much better when alone, like on "Hustle Hard."

8. Cory Gunz: Hard to say much about someone who has so little output. He did guest on the only Lil Wayne song I can stand "6 Foot, 7 Foot," but I don't get much of a feel for him from "Foreign." Maybe "Colder," which is somewhat better is a better example of what he can do. Remains to be seen.

9. Wale: Really not my type of music. After listening to "Bad" and "Lotus Flower Bomb," I respect the quality of the production and the guest appearances are solid, but they music is just too R&B and light for my tastes.

10. Curren$y: "Jet Life" and "Capitol" both sound kinda dull to me. Not quite in the lazy category, since the production is better than that, but you can see a bit of the Master P/Lil Wayne influence on him and it hurts him when you hear it.

2010

1. Big Sean: The fact that he got Kendrick Lamar to join him for "Control" puts him to close to the top of the 2010 list, but "Hall of Fame" is growing on me, so he's probably at the top of what looks to be the weakest of these lists.

2. Fashawn: He has better production than most of the people on any of these lists and has a flow that is well above average, even if some of his lyrics are a little cliche. "Samsonite Man," "Relaxation" and "Nothin For the Radio" were all well worth listening to more than once. "Life As A Shorty" also has a really great overall sound.

3. J. Cole: Been listening to "Born Sinner" and I definitely don't hate it. It's going to take some additional listens to make me know how much I like it since nothing jumps out at me.

4. Donnis: He's a little too poppy for my tastes, generally speaking, but his stuff is better than most of the pop rappers out there right now. I checked out "Gone," "I Made It," and "Knockout" and while none of them, well, knocked me out, I didn't hate them, either.

5. Nipsey Hussle: His name alone gets him further up the list. His flow isn't bad at all, and "I Need That" and "7 Days a Week" don't sound terrible, although the production is a bit weak and the lyrics are a little cliche.

6. Jay Rock: On "Say Wassup" and "Hood Gone Love It," Jay Rock has solid production and a good enough flow, but the songs just don't grab me. I'm wait and see on this guy.

7. Pill: The first two tracks I listened to, "Pacman" and "Don't Let Go" (a guest verse) were marred by intros that featured Rick Ross and autotune. The lyrics on "Ride Dat Pole" are atrocious. Pill's flow is solid, but I've already heard these songs. Today.

8. Freddie Gibbs: By this point in the list, I'm really coming to the conclusion that the 2010 class is by far the worst in the freshman era. Gibbs' work on "Bout It Bout It," "BFK" and "Eastside Moonwalker," is passable, but, again, sounds just like everything else that is on this list that I've complained about already.

9. OJ da Juiceman: To start off, his name is pretty dumb. "Make That Trap Say Aye" is so annoying that I couldn't listen to anything else he was involved in.

10. Wiz Khalifa: I do not like Khalifa. He's so dull he almost messed up Tyga's "Molly" song and it isn't like Tyga's the best technical rapper in the game, so if you can't hang with Tyga...

2011

1. Kendrick Lamar: Of anybody on this list, he has the profile to launch him into megastardom. "Backseat Freestyle" might be the most banging track of the last decade and I love it when he starts rapping in Spanish. His calling out of pretty much every rapper in the game was a genius move from a marketing standpoint AND from the point of view of trying to elevate the artform.

2. Mac Miller: Just started listening to him, but I really like "Donald Trump," "Knock Knock" and "Goosebumpz." A bit poppy, lyrically dumb and white boy silly, but still well done.

3. Lil B: Unlike most entrants on the list, Lil has a strong sense of humor and a willingness not to take himself so seriously, particularly on standout tracks like "I'm Paris Hilton," "California Boy," and "Barbiie Girl," and, to a lesser extent, "Wonton Soup."

4. Yelawolf: There's a lot of potential here. I really liked the menace of "Pop the Trunk," and "I Just Wanna Party," "Let's Roll," and "Daddy's Lambo" all caught my attention. Definitely will listen to more.

5. Cyhi The Prynce: Prince has some impressive writing credits and guest appearances, but is a little short on his own original songs, although his flow on songs like "Sideways" and "Far Removed" is pretty strong.

6. Meek Mill: Man I hate when the first song I hear someone on involves Rick Ross, as does Mill's "Ima Boss," which is totally forgettable. Much better without Ross is "Dreams and Nightmares" which is a great song. "Levels," with too many lines I've heard before, is somewhere in between.

7. Diggy Simmons: I gather that Diggy has a very high opinion of himself, maybe higher than the rest of this list, which is saying something. I can't say as I agree with him, though. His flow isn't weak, and his voice is somewhat original, but what is he saying? Same old stuff on tracks like "Fall Down" and "You Got Me Now."

8. Big K.R.I.T.: Well, he at least gets some great guests on songs like "Country Shit" and "Money on the Floor," but nothing in either song stands out to me and I'll have to listen more to figure out whether or not he's any good.

9. Fred Tha Godson: I don't really have anything bad to say about "Doing My Thing" and "Work," but I don't really have anything positive to say, either.

10. YG: Really, really dull. Songs like "Snitches Ain't" and "You Broke" could've been written by a crap rap music song generator and while "Toot It and Boot It" sounds a lot better, the name is "Toot It and Boot It."

11. Lil Twist: On "Turn't Up," Twist gets a great guest appearance from Busta that clearly outshines the young rapper. On "Love Affair," you have the opposite situation, where Lil Wayne comes in to suck things up a bit. Twist has a similar voice to Wayne, but he's not as lazy. After listening to "New Money," though it seems the highlight is the Busta Rhymes appearance.

2012

1. Macklemore: Maybe the most successful single and album of any of the freshmen ever, he's already one of my favorite rappers.

2. Hopsin: I didn't think anyone would beat out Danny Brown for second on this list, but after hearing songs like Hopsin's "Ill Mind" series (particularly 4 & 5), it wasn't that close. Hopsin has a lot to say and a lot of very cool ways to say it.

3. Danny Brown: Just started listening to him, but "Radio Song," "Grown Up," "Black Brad Pitt" and several others have already been in heavy rotation for me.

4. Iggy Azalea: She's trying a bit to hard to be one of the guys, but she isn't exactly failing on songs like "My World" and "Work," which are good songs.

5. Don Trip: He's not exceptionally different than anyone else, but he's more honest and songs like "Letter to My Son" and "Rep My Hood" are worth a listen.

6. Roscoe Dash: "All the Way Turnt Up" made me almost immediately want to turn it off, but "Good Good Night," was much better. Still a little bit too similar to everything else out there, but he has some potential and I might listen to more.

7. Machine Gun Kelly: Not a lot of his stuff is freely available online, but "Alice in Wonderland" is a promising start. The beat is somewhat original and his flow is pretty technically difficult.

8. Kid Ink: "Money and Power" and "Hell and Back" are similar enough in title and sound to make me not particularly interested in listening to much more.

9. French Montana: Apparently, after writing the hook to "Ain't Worried 'Bout Nothing," French Montana wasn't worried about writing anything else, as the song only has 16 bars that don't mention all of the hook. If you take out lines that also have the word "nothing" in them, there isn't even a full verse in the whole song. That really, really didn't make me want to listen to anything else he wrote.

10. Future: At the beginning of "Karate Chop," Future uses autotune to talk about how real he is. Then Lil' Wayne comes in. Then Future uses that lazy-ass flow that I hate with a passion. Then I was done with him.

2013

1. Schoolboy Q: What I've heard so far, I love. "Collard Greens" is one of my favorite songs right now.

2. Action Bronson: I love his voice and his delivery, but I haven't heard a lot of truly great tracks from him, beyond "East Bound and Down," which is amazing.

3. Ab-Soul: "Terrorist Threats," "A Rebellion" and "The Book of Soul" were all in my rotation, although none of them quite made my hall of fame.

4. Angel Haze: Listened to her for the first time today and "New York" and "Werkin' Girls" went straight into my rotation. Her voice and flow are great and the production's even better.

5. Joey Bada$$: "Waves" is growing on me and leaves me wanting a bit more, but I haven't heard the other track that I'm gonna listen to a lot.

6. Trinidad James: "All Gold Everything" is pretty solid, but "One More Molly" could've been written by anyone else on this list. Probably better done, too.

7. Logic: I listened to "Young Sinatra II" and it was nice, but it didn't make me fall in love.

8. Dizzy Wright: Seems to be a bit familiar, might even be biting his style. "Cant Trust'em" sounds pretty good, but it also sounds like deja vu. Pretty sure Kanye said "don't let me get in my zone" first.

9. Travi$ Scott: "Upper Echelon" is not in the upper echelon. And can we really, really stop using dollar signs for letters? Please?

10. Kirko Bangz: Am I supposed to stay awake during "Drank In My Cup"? Very hard to do.

11. Chief Keef: "Love Sosa" isn't a terrible song. It's not really a good one, either. And it's all down hill from there.

"Camp," Childish Gambino (HHES Review)

Here's my review of the Childish Gambino album "Camp," using the Hip Hop Evaluation System (HHES).

"Outside" is a strange way to start out the album. It's not a bad song, far from it, it's just not the typical song to start off a hip hop album, particularly one by a popular actor. It's a deeply introspective track where Gambino talks about peeing his pants in school as a kid. I like how revealing he is, but this seems more like a end-of-the-album track, not the lead.

"Fire Fly" is a great song, and yet still sounds a bit off in the sequence. The hook and the guest vocals here are both great and this song really goes into Gambino's ability to provide masterful wordplay and great references. The backing track is also pretty great as well.

"Bonfire" is the song that got me into Gambino in the first place. It really is just simply one of the hardest banging tracks by any artist in the last decade. Both musically and lyrically it is quite ahead of most of what's being produced these days. It's pure nerdcore, but at the same time it's a hard song that any rapper who respects talent would have to appreciate. And, as "street" and "gangsta" as other MCs are, there are few lines in any song delivered any way that hit harder than the "human centipede" and "Casey Anthony" lines in this song.

"All the Shine" is a pretty awesome track as well, opening up about Gambino's music career and the trials and tribulations he's faced based on his style of rap. Very good flow, revealing lyrics, a good backing track. Not much to complain about.

"Letter Home" is a brief aside that gives a pretty good look into Gambino's heart, once again showing that he has a way of approaching lyrics that a lot of other rappers don't. This isn't groundbreaking, but it's another snippet of information that reveals the bigger picture of Childish Gambino.

"Heartbeat" is one of the few rap songs about relationships that isn't a ballad and totally works on every level. Gambino sings a pretty powerful hook that it's hard not to get addicted to. On top of that, the lyrics describe a relationship that is complicated and unsimilar to any other depicted in any song I'm aware of. Pretty much like Gambino himself.

"Backpackers" isn't the best song on the album, but it continues things well enough to sustain the momentum that peaked with "Heart Beat." Another song taking on critics of his music/personality, it is worth a few listens.

"L.E.S." is the first drag on the album. Up to this point, things are mostly upbeat and fast-paced and this not only doesn't fit that, it seems to slow the momentum the album had up to this point.

"Hold You Down" is the second track in a row that doesn't quite match up to the earlier tracks. It's not bad, but it does seem to be getting a bit repetitive at this point. Lyrically, it's impressive, but the sound just doesn't transcend.

"Kids" helps get things back on track with one of the better beats on the album. Gambino's imperfect singing makes the hook more original and catchy than it might otherwise be.

"You See Me" really brings things back with the best beat on the album and some of Gambino's best wordplay and flow. The song is very technically difficult and switches styles frequently enough to catch just about anyone's attention, even if its racial and gender politics is awkward at best.

"Sunrise" is a fun song that has some great lyrics and wordplay in the verses, but probably could've done with a better hook and maybe a loss of some of the jarring backing vocals.

"That Power" is an interesting end to the album, with a initial track that is pretty similar to a number of other tracks on the album, but continuing well past that "song" into a lengthy monologue from Gambino that is loaded with his personality and entertaining, showing that Gambino is a good storyteller.

Overall Analysis

Flow: 10. I love the way Gambino flows. He's probably my favorite rapper right now in terms of the way words come out of his mouth.

Lyrics: 9. Gambino does have a mysterious problem with slipping into stale misogynistic lines from time to time that show a laziness that he doesn't show anywhere else. If it weren't for that, this album would be perfect from a lyrical standpoint.

Message: 9. This album is really about Gambino's personality and the things that make him tic. In that vein, it's pretty amazing. I get a really good feel for the person these lyrics are about.

Technical: 10. Gambino really is trying to do something with the way he raps and he succeeds almost all the time.

Production: 8. It's hard to complain about any of the sounds on this album. They aren't all perfect, but they are close enough to stand up to repeated listens.

Versatility: 7. While there isn't a ton of versatility from song to song, there is so much within the individual songs that

Collaborators: 7. There really aren't too many besides producers. This makes a lot of sense in context, though, since the album is deeply personal and since everyone else does so many songs with guests, he's making a bit of a statement by not having anybody dilute his personal story.

History: 6. Not a lot of history is very obvious here, but there are quire a few pop culture references and some other nods towards what came before.

References: 10. Gambino makes a lot of current and clever references that are both hilarious and powerful.

Originality: 10. If anything else like this exists, I'm not aware of it.0

Total Score: 86. This album is loaded with potential and in quite a few places, it more than exceeds that potential. Gambino is a rapper to watch.

"Meant to Be" (With Footnotes)

<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd-mixtape">Core Nerd Mixtape by Professor Rex</a>

Here is the tenth in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "Meant to Be."

This was one of the last songs written for the album and one of the last songs I fully wrote in Tallahassee. It was a straightforward message song that fits in my category of songs that have a very definitive poetic structure. Some people don't like that structure as much, thinking it too repetitive, and considering that I do it more than once, they probably have a bit of a point. But I do really like the specific list of "dos" and "don'ts" listed here and the overall message it sends, so I included it in the first mixtape.

We're not all meant to be a parent

We're not all meant to give our consent

We're not all meant to be a spouse

We're not all meant to own a house

Messages in these four lines: 1. Parenthood isn't for everyone, despite what societal pressures say. 2. Some of us aren't meant to just go with the flow and accept what society tells us to do, some of us are supposed to fight back. 3. Much like marriage, parenthood isn't for everyone. 4. The third in the opening trifecta of what a "good" American is supposed to do. But some of us don't want to and shouldn't become homeowners. We don't all have to dream the same dreams and live the same lives, and we shouldn't.

We're not all meant to join the trends

We're not all meant to break or bend

We're not all meant to wear a uniform

We're not all meant to hide from the storm

Messages in these four lines: 1. Just because something is popular doesn't make it valid. 2. Some of us in life will end up losing because we refused to give in. That may hurt us personally, but it paves the way for future successes by others. 3. Uniforms are never given out for the benefit of the individual. They benefit the organization, if anyone. If we recognize that, sometimes it's better to resist that conformity. 4. The safe bet is to stay inside and bundle up when the storm comes. But there are good things in some of those storms and their are always opportunities for greatness during trying times.

We're not all meant to wear a nametag

We're not all meant to salute your flag

We're not all meant to follow the leader

We're not all meant to be mind readers

Messages in these four lines: 1. Jobs with nametags usually suck. Those of us that have figured out what we want to do and are willing to work hard for it shouldn't be forced to work those jobs. 2. A flag is a very sketchy thing to have allegiance for, while a country is only marginally better. Loyalty is for human beings who have earned it, not abstract concepts. 3. While it's true that we do need some people to follow leaders when we are trying to change the world for the better, we're usually better off with more people trying to be those leaders than we usually have. 4. Communication is one of the biggest problem areas we face in society, where people get mad at others who can't read their mind or anticipate their wants and needs. The reality is that its incumbent upon us to express our desires, not upon others to magically pick up on them.

We're not all meant to do what we're told

We're not all meant to be bought and sold

We're not all meant to act our age

We're not all meant to hold back our rage

Messages in these four lines: 1. Those who speak out against unjust authority are amongst the true heroes in society. 2. We're all marketed to constantly and pressured to sell ourselves out, it takes courage to resist. 3. People telling us to "act our age" is just another way for them to control us. The way I'm "supposed" to act is however I want to act. 4. "Anger is a gift," says Rage Against the Machine, and when injustice is in front of us, anger is the only valid response.

What are we meant to be

What are we meant to see

What are we meant to say

What are we gonna do today

The chorus is meant to ask the questions that the rest of the song is answering. I'm asking these questions first person, but they are questions we should all be asking first person, on a regular basis.

We're not all meant to watch the Superbowl

We're not all meant to jump in the fox hole

We're not all meant to eat a Big Mac

We're not all meant to earn the 20-year plaque

Messages in these four lines: 1. I personally am a sports fan, but I've seen too many people be ridiculed or pressured for not paying attention to games played by adults. 2. We frequently put military service at the top of our list of heroes, yet there are many other forms of heroes who deserve no less attention than our soldiers. 3. It's easy and cheap to eat a fast food diet. There's no standard by which it is good for you, though. 4. The day-to-day, 9-to-5 job lifestyle works for some, but it doesn't work for many others. A lot of us are better off looking for a different way to approach life.

We're not all meant to own a dog

We're not all meant to live in a fog

We're not all meant to wear a tie

We're not all meant to float on till we die

Messages in these four lines: 1. Some of us just aren't dog people and we don't need as much of the condescension that dog people give to non-dog people. 2. Actually, none of us are, but too many of us do. 3. Jobs with ties aren't for everyone. 4. The reference here is not at all a dig at Modest Mouse, whom I like quite a bit, but is a reference to taking a more active role in your own destiny.

We're not all meant to live in a small town

We're not all meant to always back down

We're not all meant to stay in one place

We're not all meant to date only one race

Messages in these four lines: 1. I personally hate small towns and small town values and think they hurt the world more than help it. 2. Some of us are meant to fight for what we believe in. 3. While there are some virtues to living your entire life in one place, it seems to me that moving around makes you a better, smarter, more well-rounded person. 4. There should be no boundaries on whom consenting adults want to date.

We're not all meant to pray to your God

We're not all meant to live on Cape Cod

We're not all meant to shop at Wal-Mart

We're not all meant to play a bit part

Messages in these four lines: 1. Religion is not for everyone and tolerance is necessary both towards other religions, but also towards the non-religious. 2. While wealth has its privileges, it's hardly a positive goal in and of itself. 3. Wal-Mart isn't great for anyone except its owners, although many people are sucked in by the low prices, not understanding the harm those low prices do to other human beings. 4. The world needs more superstars, even if those superstars are only so on small stages.

What are we meant to be

What are we meant to see

What are we meant to say

What are we gonna do today

The chorus again.

We are all meant to have free thought

We are all meant to foil the plot

We are all meant to knock the walls down

We are all meant to become a proper noun

Messages in these four lines: 1. One of the most important things people can do is learn to think for themselves. 2. Someone is always trying to do you or your friends and family or your society some kind of harm. How can they be stopped and what role do you or I play in that? 3. Literal walls are often important and serve valid purposes. Many metaphorical walls don't, they just block progress. 4. Do something in life that makes your name worthy of an entry in Wikipedia.

We are all meant to hop the globe

We are all meant to use our frontal lobe

We are all meant to push the limits

We are all meant to make the pivot

Messages in these four lines: 1. Travel is one of the most important things you can do to expand your mind. 2. Thinking and using one's brain is vital for the world to improve. 3. Most limits we face, even if they are self-imposed, are put there to stop us from succeeding, so we must bust through them. 4. Change is a vital part of life. If you don't change, you stagnate and die. But be careful to change for the better.

We are all meant to expand our minds

We are all meant to taste the wine

We are all meant to dance in the rain

We are all meant to do it again

Messages in these four lines: 1. 2. 3. 4.

We are all meant to run the race

We are all meant for first place/last place

We are all meant to graduate

We are all meant to play with fate

Messages in these four lines: 1. Everyone's life has the potential to be a game-changer, but only if we try. 2. We are all going to have successes and failures in life, neither should be a final judgment on who we are. 3. If not from school (although that, too), we all should progress in wisdom through our lives and "graduate" from the school of life. Many of us don't. 4. Tempting fate is the only way to make massive changes that improve our own lives and the lives of others. Risk is necessary in order to get the better rewards.

What are we meant to be

What are we meant to see

What are we meant to say

What are we gonna do today

The chorus again.

We are all meant to be free

We are all meant to describe what we see

We are all meant to want equality

We are all meant to scream like a banshee

Messages in these four lines: 1. Freedom is the ultimate state a human being can exist in, and we should all have the chance to earn it. 2. Most things we see have some importance and it is our duty to reveal those important things to others. 3. There are many different types of equality, and we should steadfastly pursue equality, unless someone (i.e. a murder or child molester) has forfeited that right to equality. 4. It's not enough to just speak up when injustice happens, we mus cream loudly until it goes away.

We are all meant to help the poor

We are all meant to get up off the floor

We are all meant to break some ground

We are all meant to rebound and rebound

Messages in these four lines: 1. Society should be judged by how it deals with those at the bottom rungs of the ladder. 2. We will all be knocked down, we should be judged by how we respond to that. Those who get up off the floor and fight are more heroic than those who don't. 3. In whatever field it is, we should all strive to leave our mark. 4. Life is a constant struggle and battle and the measure of a person is how much they let hardships or obstacles prevent them from success.

We are all meant to tell our story

We are all meant to strive for glory

We are all meant to wow the crowd

We are all meant to speak real loud

Messages in these four lines: 1. Our story has implications and lessons for others, not just ourselves, so we have a duty to pass our story along. 2. Glory can be defined many different ways, but whatever way we personally define it, we should pursue it. 3. Those of us who are creative or good-hearted always have the possibility of surprising others in positive ways and we should strive to do so. 4. And when we do, we can't do it quietly.

We are all meant to be real odd

We are all meant to be real flawed

We are all meant to change the world

We are all meant to change the world

Messages in these four lines: 1. It's strange to want to change the world or create art or do anything notable. But those things are what are important. 2. Nobody is perfect, but those of us who learn from our mistakes get closer and closer every day. 3. Even if it's in a small way. 4. Seriously.

What are we meant to be

What are we meant to see

What are we meant to say

What are we gonna do today

What are we meant to be
What are we meant to see
What are we meant to say
What are we gonna do today

The chorus two more times.

American Dream (With Footnotes)

<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd-mixtape">Core Nerd Mixtape by Professor Rex</a>

Here is the ninth in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "American Dream."

Another track with a strong core premise, this time it's the pairing of marketing slogans that were famous and kinda had that earworm thing going for them with military images and language. If you think about it, it's pretty obvious that the two things often come from, if not the same people, the same type of people. War is sold to us the same way that fast food and batteries are sold to us. This song just makes that more explicit.

You can Just Do It. You know I'm lovin' it.

You can just hurt it. You know I'm stabbing it

The first slogan is Nike, the second McDonalds.

A diamond is forever. A little dab'll do ya!

Armor piercing bullets'll run right through ya

The first is De Beers diamonds, the second is Brylcreem, a hair product.

Have it your way. Home of the Whopper.

Both of these are old Burger King slogans.

Get your batteries topped with the copper

They keep going and going and going and going

Our bombs keep blowing and blowing and blowing and blowing

Coppertop batteries are, of course, Duracell, while the "going and going" slogan comes from their competitor with the bunny, Energizer. I really liked the comparison here with the bombs "blowing and blowing."

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Keep on fighting, keep on kicking

The watch that keeps on ticking is Timex.

Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

Kill the enemy like you're playing Rock Band

The candy that supposedly melts in your mouth, not in your hands is M&M's, but they always melted in my hands, which became covered with dye. The second line alludes to how much easier it is to kill the enemy with things like drones and long-range missiles where the soldiers sit in booths far from the enemy, effectively playing a war video game. This was something that George Carlin alluded to by calling them "Nintendo pilots," bring the video game reference full circle.

Raid Kills Bugs Dead

Knives kill kids dead

Guns kill men dead

Bombs kill countries dead

The hardness of the Raid slogan was easy to translate to bigger weapons and bigger results.

This is what you're dreaming of

This is what you wanna do

This is what you gotta do

This is what they tell you to

This is what they make you do

This is what you're dreaming of
This is what you wanna do
This is what you gotta do
This is what they tell you to
This is what they make you do

The chorus really gets at the main idea of the song, as you can't tell whether it's referring to the commercials or the war allusions. In reality, it's both.

GE, We bring good things to life.

But not today, hide your kids, hide your wife

The old GE slogan was an obvious one, but pairing it with the Antoine Dodson line was my second favorite line in the song and a little bit of needed comic relief in the middle of a dark song.

Bounty towels, The quick picker upper

Laser-guided bunker-buster

I really like the contrast of the two "problem solvers" mentioned here, from the really soft and friendly Bounty towel to the life-ending bunker-buster bomb.

Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids

Silly Rabbit, ak's are for kids

Silly Rabbit, claymores are for kids

Silly Rabbit, its all for the kids

Everything in politics is "for the kids," which makes an obvious connection to Trix and its famous slogan. The implied criticism here is that things that are really important, like war, don't take kids into account at all, whether as collateral damage or for the kids who lose parents in war. There is also an allusion to child soldiers here as well.

Think outside the bun

Think inside the gun

The "bun" slogan is from Taco Bell.

Give a hoot, don't pollute

You surrender, I'm still gonna shoot

"Give a hoot" is the first slogan here that isn't a corporate slogan, but was part of a PSA campaign. I remember it fondly and it helped make me a non-polluter as a kid. The second line is a reference to the fact that soldiers are so heavily trained to kill and that the enemy is so dehumanized that people end up dying even after they stop fighting.

What would you do for a Klondike bar

What would you do for a brand new car

What would you do for a MAC-10

What would you do to make sure that you win

Really the big philosophical question of the song is "what are you willing to do" to win and it is an easy tie-in to the Klondike slogan.

This is what you're dreaming of

This is what you wanna do

This is what you gotta do

This is what they tell you to

This is what they make you do

This is what you're dreaming of
This is what you wanna do
This is what you gotta do
This is what they tell you to
This is what they make you do

The chorus again.

Tastes great, less filling

More death, more killing

The Miller Lite slogan is inherently musical and was featured in a 2 Live Crew song, "If You Believe in Having Sex."

It's Miller time, It's killer time

Miller was an obvious rhyme with killer.

Obey your thirst, do your worst

Sprite wanted you to obey your thirst.

Got Milk? Snap! Crackle! Pop!

White phosphorus, Good to the last drop

This one throws three references in to two lines: the milk campaign, Rice Krispies (where the milk goes), and Maxwell House coffee, supposedly good to the last drop. Also, both the milk and the phosphorous are white.

Be all that you can be

Burn all that you can see

The first line here ties the song together well, since it's a advertising slogan, but since it's for the Army, it hits both of the songs component themes.

Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun

Two hundred dead kids laying on the ground

Rough shots from my big bad gun

This is my favorite line in the song. The old Big Mac song from McDonalds is already a jingle, so very musical, but nothing contrasts more strongly with that song that kids used to sing all the time than the death of those kids.

Betcha can't eat just one

Betcha can't shoot just one

Betcha can't kill just one

Betcha can't drop just one bomb

Lays Potato Chips were the ones you couldn't eat just one of. And it was true, they were addictive. As is the killing and violence of war.

This is what you're dreaming of

This is what you wanna do

This is what you gotta do

This is what they tell you to

This is what they make you do

This is what you're dreaming of
This is what you wanna do
This is what you gotta do
This is what they tell you to
This is what they make you do

This is what you're dreaming of
This is what you wanna do
This is what you gotta do
This is what they tell you to
This is what they make you do

This is what they make you do

The chorus with a repeat until the end.

"Wolf," Tyler, the Creator (HHES Review)

Prior to listening to "Wolf," I had only heard negative things about him. I listened to it a little bit and I found his voice and flow interesting, but wasn't wowed. There were a couple of songs that grabbed me a bit, but I didn't think they were world-changers or anything. Then I saw an interview with him and realized that I grew up with guys like him, so I kinda get where he's coming from, even though I disagree with a lot of his choices.

A eponymous first track is almost completely pointless and offensive. It doesn't sound horrible, but the words are horrible. It's followed by "Jamba," which is catchy and well-produced, but once again, contains enough misogyny and homophobia to detract from its quality. The next track "Cowboy" doesn't differ from "Jamba" in any notable way. "Awkward," is kinda different, particularly since it has an actual topic and it reduces the offensive stuff.

"Domo 23" sounds quite a bit different in terms of the production and flow. The lyrics, however, are totally pointless and go back in the more offensive direction. "Answer" shows the production on the album starting to really vary, but the lyrics and flow have been heard a bunch of times already. On this album.

"Slater" is a song about Tyler riding on his bike, and it isn't as exciting as that sounds. "48" is the first time on the album that Tyler really has consistently good lyrics that tell a real story and reveal something about his actual thought process. It also has the worst production so far, despite the Nas samples. Lyrically, "Colossus" is the best writing on the album, with its tale of fan-artist tensions, and the minimalist beat is more than sufficient, even if he still does include some offensive lyrics.

"PartyIsntOver/Campfire/Bimmer Lyrics" is a old school freestyle jam that is too mundane to be particularly funny or interesting. "IFHY" is another one of the more lyrically revealing and interesting tracks and although the beat is better than "48," it's still not particularly great. The next track is the most similar to "Colossus," a deeply personal track that gives Tyler the chance to bust loose and show both his songwriting and his vocal skills. The beat isn't amazing, but there are a lot worse on this album. "Parking Lot" is a typical crew shout-out jam, but it's not particularly entertaining. Apparently Tyler doesn't even care for it that much and he said if there's a vinyl version of the album, he'll leave it off.

"Rusty" is a pretty good song in terms of finding a creative way to do something that has been done over and over again, this time it's a combination answer song and "inside the game" complaint song. The lyrics are pretty interesting and original, for the most part, but he once again falls into the pattern of using misogyny and homophobia in a way that is supposedly ironic, but there's no real way to know that unless you've seen interviews with him. On "Trashwang," Tyler and his crew are really angry at someone, but it's not really obvious who. Maybe they're angry at the producer(s) of the album where this is one of the more creative beats and it's not exactly groundbreaking. "Treehome95" is announced as an incomplete song when it comes on. And it is. And it's mostly not Tyler. And it's got an above average beat for this album, but it barely sounds like a Tyler song. Next up is "Tamale," which is the best beat and catchiest song on the album, even if, once again, the lyrics devolve into the same pointless "let's offend just to offend" nonsense. The final song, which includes more of the pointless skit parade on the album. The song is over a totally jacked song (not even a sample) and while the lyrics are above average for the album, the delivery doesn't really match the backing track.

Overall Analysis

Flow: 8. Tyler has an interesting flow, but he doesn't vary it enough and doesn't try to do too much that is challenging. He has two basic flows, his normal voice and his raspier voice. They're both pretty good, but very repetitive.

Lyrics: 7. Most of Tyler's lyrics here are pretty good. He makes two mistakes, though, and he makes them over and over again. The first is the totally offensive language he uses towards women and homosexuals. And he does it so much that it becomes lazy and repetitive. The other thing is that quite a bit, he just randomly throws out lines in a way that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and it makes the songs run together and have no real coherence at times.

Message: 3. Most of it doesn't have much of a message and when it does, despite his protestations, it seems like the message is I don't really like gay people (other than Frank Ocean), and I only like women for one thing.

Technical: 6. Sometimes Tyler tries some more advanced rapping techniques, and he usually succeeds, but he doesn't do it too often.

Production: 5. I like minimalism, but it has to be minimal and catchy and connect with the lyrics. That doesn't happen too often.

Versatility: 4. There's only a little bit on the album, most of it is the same thing over and over and over again.

Collaborators: 6. Pretty good people and hot young guys are on the album, but for the most part, they don't stand out and don't add a lot to the album.

History: 7. References: 8. Tyler's a smart guy who has consumed a lot of pop culture (and some history) and that shows throughout the album.

Originality: 6. Tyler's choice of content and his delivery are pretty original, but the rest of what makes up these songs isn't.

Total Score: 63. Tyler has a lot of potential, but he's one of those guys who thinks he's being edgy by using homophobia and misogyny as if that isn't what everyone else is doing. If he got better production and attached as much creativity to the parts of the songs that are anti-woman or anti-gay, he'd be great.

Izdashit (With Footnotes)

<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd-mixtape">Core Nerd Mixtape by Professor Rex</a>

Here is the eighth in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "Izdashit."

The premise of this song is one of the simplest on the album, just a list of things that I find really cool. The only caveat is that I didn't want it to always be too obvious. The repeated "izdashit" at the end of each line was the first thing I came up with and the idea was that it would be one of those sing-along parts of a song that would get a crowd involved in the song. I haven't fully performed it yet, but people did like it and sing along the one time I attempted it.

1, 2...izdashit

3, 4...izdashit

Professor Rex...izdashit

The name of this song...izdashit

I wanted an intro here so people could see what the pattern was before the song got started, that way they could sing along.

Chuck D...izdashit

Being free...izdashit

Chuck is, of course, the lead MC of Public Enemy, and my all-time favorite MC.

KRS-One...izdashit

My second-favorite MC is KRS-One, originally of Boogie Down Productions, but long since a solo artists.

All o' my sons...izdashit

I have three songs, Carlin, Jack and Miles.

Scooby doo...izdashit

Spongebob, too...izdashit

These are the two shows that my sons have watched that I liked the most. They watch shows over and over and over again and most of them became really annoying. Except Spongebob and Scooby Doo.

Walking dead...izdashit

My favorite TV show and comic at the time I wrote the song.

Lizz Winstead...izdashit

Lizz is a stand-up comedian and helped create the Daily Show. She isn't nearly as famous as she should be.

Rum and DP...izdashit

DP here is Dr. Pepper. Rum and DP was the drink of choice for me and my crew the year I wrote this.

No more CDs...izdashit

Vintage vinyl...izdashit

I never got heavily into CDs, I basically went from cassettes (had a collection that was at the end over 10k) to digital, skipping over CDs. I have very fond memories of vinyl, though, from back in the day and particularly love that little crackle that comes out of the speakers when you first drop the needle on the record. I've since started collecting vinyl pretty heavily again.

NBA Finals...izdashit

My favorite sport nowadays is basketball. I used to be more into football, but it's much harder to play that as an amateur in any way that resembles the real game. Basketball is easy to play, even if you're alone. When I was younger, baseball was my sport, but steroids drove me away from that sport.

Lee Camp...izdashit

Lee is a stand-up comedian and political activist but isn't that famous, although he's getting more so.

11 on my amp...izdashit

A reference to "Spinal Tap."

Elon James White...izdashit

Elon is a stand-up comedian, political activist, and online radio host who started "This Week in Blackness."

Saturday night...izdashit

This one is a double reference, to both the actual night, which is the most common party night in most towns, and Saturday Night Live.

Garofalo...izdashit

Janeane is a stand-up comedian and political activist.

Playing in the snow...izdashit

Just a little personal thing that isn't particularly important, but fits.

Pirate bay...izdashit

Torrents rule!

Cassius Clay...izdashit

Cassius, a.k.a. Muhammad Ali, is one of my idols.

I have a little time

To bust a few rhymes

It's not a crime

Ain't payin no fine

Ain't doin no time

This shit's all mine

This is the way

We like to flow

This is the way

To save my soul

This is the way

We like to do it

The name o' this song...izdashit

They key thing I wanted for the chorus was for it to be much faster than the rest of the song in order to break up the potential monotony of the repeated "izdashits." They key part tying it into the rest of the song is "this is the way to save my soul," since the things in the song are the things that feed my soul.

Pulp Fiction...izdashit

One of my favorite movies of all time and one that changed how I understood film, pop culture, and myself.

Starting a little friction...izdashit

Rubbing her hips...izdashit

Licking her lips...izdashit

I generally stay away from sex in my songs (for a variety of reasons), but I wanted to hint at it a little bit here. Notice, of course, the potential double entendre.

Dark Tower...izdashit

My favorite series of novels, by Stephen King.

People power...izdashit

Both a reference to the grassroots power in politics and Howard Dean, one of my favorite Democratic leaders.

Purple rain...izdashit

Prince was a huge part of my life and "Purple Rain" isn't just his best album, it's one of the best albums ever.

Bring the pain...izdashit

This is a reference to a Chris Rock stand-up comedy special that I thought was brilliant.

Blazing saddles...izdashit

Mel Brooks, the director of this comedy milestone, was hugely influential on my sense of humor.

Zombie battles...izdashit

I'm a fanatic for anything post-apocalyptic and particularly anything with zombies.

Thirstbuster...izdashit

Circle K used to have a 75-cent fountain drink that was called the Thirstbuster (and you could get it in a 44 oz. size). We used that to mix our rum and DPs and other things. Then they changed the name of the drink to the much less cool "polar pop."

Spicy mustard...izdashit

This one was strictly in here as a joke, because why the fuck would I be rapping about mustard? In a literal sense? But numerous people have pointed this out as their favorite line in the song.

The X-Men...izdashit

All my friends...izdashit

X-Men comics are a powerful influence on who I am, and my biggest fans are my friends.

Gravity bong...izdashit

This fucking song...izdashit

Both things you can get high off of?

Helter skelter...izdashit

An obvious Beatles reference.

Fucking bomb shelter...izdashit

The early bar that I did most of my early performances in and typically spent two nights a week singing karaoke at for more than a year was called, at the time, Bomb Shelter.

Off the Wall...izdashit

I've always been a big Michael Jackson fan, particularly his pre-HIStory stuff.

All a y'all...izdashit

Why not end with a shout out to the crowd, especially if they've been singing along.

I have a little time

To bust a few rhymes

It's not a crime

Ain't payin no fine

Ain't doin no time

This shit's all mine

This is the way

We like to flow

This is the way

To save my soul

This is the way

We like to do it

The name o' this song...izdashit

The chorus again.

"N.W.A. and the Posee" (HHES Review)

Most people's introduction to N.W.A. was "Straight Outta Compton," but for me and my friends, that was the third N.W.A album, after Eazy-E's solo album and "N.W.A. and the Posee." We were Southern white boys, but this one of a few albums that really shook us to the core and made us see the world in a different way. There is no album I've purchased more times than this one, with it being played so many times that the cassette broke more than once. Or people stole it. Either way, none of us could have a car that didn't have a copy of this in it. We didn't differentiate, either, between the N.W.A. tracks and the songs by others, it was all one big shot of lightning to us. We played this nonstop, getting dirty looks, racist comments and getting ignored by the girls who couldn't believe what we were listening to.

Eazy-E - "Boyz-n-the-Hood": One of several perfect songs on the album, I still know every word to this song today. The album starts off with tremendous production from Dr. Dre and never lets up. Even if the words and messages on some of these songs are terrible in retrospect, it was hard to care about that when they sounded so good. This one was my introduction to gangsta rap and what street life was like in places like Compton. The lyrics are just plain genius, so good that even Easy-E's subpar rhyme skills can't mess them up. His signature voice, though, remains one of the most original sounds to ever hit my ears.

N.W.A. - "8 Ball": Another perfect song, sonically, from the evil gremlin voice of Eazy-E to Dre's amazing beat that showed already that he was one of the best and that he was willing to use good sounds to make his songs, even if they seemed inappropriate, such as the Beastie Boys samples here. This is one of the few songs in history that specifically made me buy a product. We drank a LOT of 8 Ball because of this song.

Fila Fresh Crew - "Dunk the Funk": The first misstep on the album isn't Dre's fault, his beat is still dope. And it's not D.O.C.'s fault, he's tight. The rest of the Crew, though, just can't hang and they really seem out of place on an album with Ice Cube. This song is a throwaway and we used to hit fast forward here a lot.

Rappinstine - "Scream": This one was always a bit better than "Dunk the Funk," but we usually fast forwarded through it as well (until they took it off the album for the reissue). It's not terrible, but lyrically and delivery-wise, it just doesn't belong on this album.

Fila Fresh Crew - "Drink It Up": This one is the highlight of the Fila Fresh Crew tracks. It's a silly song, but damn if we didn't laugh our asses off and sing along with it over and over and over again.

N.W.A. - "Panic Zone": One of the flaws of this album was that there wasn't enough Arabian Prince. His voice is amazing and this is a perfect vehicle for him and another great slice of the gangsta life.

Eazy-E and Ron-De-Vu - "L.A. Is the Place": While Ron-De-Vu isn't on Eazy's level, this song is kind of the early gangsta rulebook. It's not in the top five songs on the album, but is just below them.

N.W.A. - "Dope Man": Perfection. This ridiculously awesome introduction to Ice Cube made me a hip hop fan for life. No matter how many crappy family movies he makes, Cube gets a lifetime pass from me because of this song, which still remains the best explanation of drug dealers and their lifestyle ever written.

Fila Fresh Crew - "Tuffest Man Alive": The biggest problem with Fila is that anyone who isn't D.O.C. sounds like they are rapping in 1981, as if they never learned the smoothness of flow that later rappers have. Stilted and awkward and less rhythmically valid. Another throwaway song.

Eazy-E and Ron-De-Vu - "Fat Girl": Even then I knew this song was horrible, but it hit hard and as teenage boys we thought it was funny and we hadn't figured out women yet, so we had a lot of that virginal anti-woman stuff running through our heads.

Fila Fresh Crew - "3 the Hard Way": The best of Fila's straight ahead songs is propelled by an amazing beat and hardcore rhymes from D.O.C. It's a little light lyrically speaking, and the jokes in it are kinda stale and weren't that funny then, but it definitely belonged on the album. The inclusion of the band members doing the dozens at the end is also an important document and was really funny at the time (even if it's less funny to me as an adult).

N.W.A. - "A Bitch Iz a Bitch": This replacement song was added to get more Cube out there and it improved the album. It was this song that helped make it clear to me that rappers are fictional characters and their words shouldn't always be taken literally. Cube makes it clear that he's not calling all women bitches, he's describing a particular type of woman that is materialistic and out to exploit a musician. N.W.A. even gave women the chance to jump on the track and argue back, which was quite entertaining.

Overall Analysis

Flow: 8. Cube, Arabian Prince and D.O.C. are amazing, Eazy's solid, Ron-De-Vu is passable and the rest are kinda weak.

Lyrics: 9. While a lot of the non-N.W.A. tracks are weak lyrically, the N.W.A. stuff is so important and powerful that it makes things better.

Message: 7. A lot of misogyny, fat hatred, and homophobia run through the album, which are obviously problems, but the album is a great opening document for what became known as the "CNN of the streets." As a description of a lifestyle and historical document, it's important.

Technical: 7. The same guys I mentioned who were good on flow are good here, but the rest are subpar.

Production: 10. Near perfect. Dre already knew what he was doing and his use of samples and beats to compliment the raps is unparalleled even 25 years later.

Versatility: 10. Again, look at the list of performers that came out of this album and see how different they are. The topics aren't super varied, but the voices and delivery styles are.

Collaborators: 9. A couple of rappers probably didn't belong on this album, but this is damned near a supergroup album.

History: 8. Music history is very well mined here and this is an important historical document about L.A. street life in the 80s.

References: 9. Many of them are musical or samples, but there are a lot of them and they are well-chosen and well-placed.

Originality: 10. This album didn't just change my life, it changed popular music. Cube and Dre alone are responsible for the majority of what hits the charts these days. There was some gangsta stuff before this, but everything became more gangsta after this, to the point where Miley Cyrus is giving shout-outs to Jay-Z.

Total Score: 87. It's far from perfect, particularly the Fila Fresh Crew songs, but this album changed my life. And much of it still stands the test of time and it set the table for so much that it's hard to ignore the importance of this one.

Against the 80s (With Footnotes)

<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd">Core Nerd by Professor Rex</a>

Here is the seventh in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "Against the 80s."

This is an answer song, not in a negative way, as if I'm trying to battle someone, but in that it's a song that I agree with and I'm extending that conversation. Punk bassist Mike Watt did a solo album in the early 1990s that had a series of guest singers, including a song with Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam called "Against the 70s." The basic point of the song was summed up by the chorus: "The kids of today should defend themselves against the 70s/It's not reality/just someone else's sentimentality." They were protesting the fact that 70s nostalgia had become a big business that was being foisted on teenagers as a marketing ploy. I agreed with that and by the time I wrote this song, which was the second full song I ever wrote, I also thought it was true of the 1980s. Hence the song.

The kids of today should defend themselves against the 1980s

It's not reality, just mass-marketed sentimentality

The hook comes directly from the Mike Watt song, with minor adjustments to the lyrics to fit this song.

Flipping through the channels and I'm almost done

Find I love the fucking 80s on Vh1

VH1 and their 70s and 80s nostalgia shows are one of the key drivers of this problem.

Sweet like honey-dripped triple chocolate cake

Bullshit nostalgia, served up nice and fake

This maybe my favorite simile I've ever come up with. It's a great image and it flows well.

What they don't tell you is the movies sucked

Try expanding your mind and your ass was fucked

This is one of my big problems with nostalgia, people remember the great stuff and forget the bad stuff and act like things used to be better, when that's rarely true. 80s movies were particularly notable for their lack of intellectual content most of the time.

What they don't tell you is the music sucked

A few good artists, a whole lot of junk

Whitney Houston, Phil Collins, some kind of curse

Same problem with music and looking back at it retroactively, most 80s music was terrible, particularly the more popular stuff.

What they don't tell you was the tv was worse

Superstation reruns of Gomer Pyle and Ralph Malph

Even most of the good shows from the 80s haven't held up well, but with cable being limited back then, you ended up watching a lot of reruns of older shows.

Stupid, racist and that little guy Alf...wait, I liked Alf

I love the way the music drops out here so I can respond to this line. I'll repeat it later.

Gordon Gekko said that greed is good

On the backs of the poor his followers stood

The movie "Wall Street" was widely lauded but many people took it the wrong way and embraced its villain, and the 80s were the time of evil corporate tycoons who screwed over the economy and the average person.

That Wendy's lady said where is the beef

A b movie actor was commander in chief

Even a lot of things we remember fondly from the 80s, such as the "where's the beef" lady are pretty terrible. And, of course, Ronald Reagan was one of our worst presidents, something I'll come back to several times in the song, since it's one of the most important factors in the 80s sucking.

Wax on, wax off, I'll be back

Like, oh my god, Grody to the max

So much of the pop culture of the 80s was shallow and vapid, from "Karate Kid," to Arnold Schwarzeneggar, to valley girl slang.

Nancy Reagan said just say no

No to the broke, no to the low

Seriously, in 1981 the Reagan USDA declared that ketchup and pickle relish were vegetables for the purposes of cutting nutrition in the school lunch program

The "just say no" campaign was really one of the dumbest things I remember from growing up and the overall war on drugs is a nightmare. The Reagans were also very strong champions of screwing over poor people. I love this part of the song ending in this little rant, too, which is totally accurate.

The kids of today should defend themselves against the 1980s

It's not reality, just pre-packaged sentimentality

The chorus again, but with a little change in what type of sentimentality it refers to. This has a payoff later.

They bombed Honduras, bomb, bombed Grenada

The format of the next section is based on a John McCain quote where he said "bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys "Barbara Ann," which was a horrible thing to joke about. The series of countries listed here were all places where we had military interventions and this section was to show how warlike the 80s were.

Sold us crack, the smack came later

We learned that the government played a role in the distribution of hardcore drugs in the inner cities, in particular.

They bombed Libya, bomb, bombed Iran

I think the bombing of Libya was my first memory of watching a U.S. military intervention in realtime. At the time I was opposed to Qaddafi and supported the campaign. Then I grew up. The fact that Reagan played both sides in the Iran-Iraq war was a pretty significant war crime and help set the stage for al Qaeda's rise and attack on us.

Ignored AIDS, Bush was the man

Reagan's ignoring of the rise of the AIDS epidemic was just another in his long list of crimes. Reagan begat Bush, of course, whose mediocre presidency would later lead do his son's horrible presidency.

They bombed Panama, bomb, bombed Iraq

I was obviously no fan of Noreaga or Hussein, but we killed civilians and interfered in the sovereignty of so many countries in the 80s.

Made us all afraid of a nuclear attack

Those who naively say that terrorism is the worst threat we've ever faced don't remember how pervasive our fear of total annihilation via nuclear weapons was.

They bombed the media, bomb, bombed the airwaves

Tried to turn us all into mental slaves

The 80s also was a pure assault on the media, news, accuracy, fairness and the like. It was also the real rise of the horrible marketing industry.

They killed John Lennon, Marvin Gaye dead

The next section goes down a list of personal icons who died in the 1980s. Lennon was of course the musician who most influenced me early on. Gaye's death by gunshot from his own father was one of the first times I realized how fucked up the world is.

They killed Andy Kaufman, John Belushi dead

Kaufman is one of my favorites in any field of performance and I always think of his tactics when I'm writing. Belushi's movies were huge in my development, as was Saturday Night Live.

They killed Bob Marley, Ian Curtis dead

Marley's "Three Little Birds" is one of my all-time favorite songs and he was obviously my introduction to reggae. Curtis was the lead singer of Joy Division, and I not only was a big fan of his music, but he was one of my first introductions to alternative/indie rock, which remains one of my favorites.

They killed television, radio is dead

They killed the movies, art is dead

I was a big fan of TV, radio and movies when I was younger, not surprisingly, but the tactics introduced in these industries, as well as the commercialization of art, pushed all of these things in worse directions.

They killed D Boon, Phil Lynott dead

D Boon was the singer for the Minutemen, a band that Mike Watt was also in. Lynott did some amazing things with Thin Lizzy.

They killed Gilda Radner, Andy Warhol dead

Radner was one of my first female comedic icons (along with Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball). I've always been fascinated with Warhol and the web of connections and artists he kept around himself. I do a milder version of that now.

They killed Alfred Hitchcock, they let Ronald Reagan live? Seriously?

Hitchock's movies and TV show were some of the first scary stuff I got into, which is something which later became a major part of my life. After all of Reagan's sins, some of which were listed in the song, he obviously deserved death more than anyone else on this list, yet he was merely wounded in the assassination attempt against him.

The adults of today should defend themselves against the 1980s

VH1's not reality, just mother fucking sentimentality

It won't work for you, it didn't work for us

A little bit of shiny, and a whole lot of rust

The chorus slightly tweaked again. Then another line from Vedder's vocals, coupled with a metaphor that I really like.

The kids of today should defend themselves against the 1980s

It's not reality, just

mass-marketed

pre-packaged

mother-fucking

freeze-dried

vacuum-packed

state-of-the-art

high-concept

super-sized

cutting-edge

long-lasting

fast-acting

oven-ready

ready-to-wear

built-to-last

user-friendly

toll-free

bite-sized

fully-equipped

order now

don't delay

act now or forever rest in pieces

...sentimentality

This is meant to emulate the fast-talking spokesman of the MicroMachines toys and several other ads and also to allude to the rise of the MTV-style quick editing that greatly contributed to our declining attention spans. The terms here are mostly marketing terms from commercials, but quite a few come by way of George Carlin's bit "Modern Man," which I'm turning into a song. Also, the first three go back to the earlier choruses, repeating the changed adjective before sentimentality for each one of them. Theoretically if there were more choruses, they would continue to go down this list in order.

Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up

Another line from an 80s commercial, the ubiquitous MedicAlert bracelets that were unintentionally funny (and sad).

Alter Ego (With Footnotes)

<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd">Core Nerd by Professor Rex</a>

Here is the sixth in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "Alter Ego."

This is another song with a simple premise. It's a straight ahead rap boast song, but all the metaphors are based on comic book superheroes, but only using their alter ego names, not their superhero names.

Like Peter Parker, it's time to swing

You can't comprehend the misery I bring

Parker is Spider-man, of course, known for swinging around on webs. The second line is a bit of a call-out to the lyrics to my song "Charlie Sheen."

Like Bruce fucking banner, it's time to smash

My words go boom, my words go crash

Banner is the Hulk and his catchphrase is "Hulk smash!" The second line is a reference to something, but I can't remember what, I want to say it's meant to evoke KRS-One.

I can see through your shit, like you were Sue Storm

You ain't got style, you ain't got form

Storm is the Invisible Woman.

Like Ororo Munroe, I ride the wind

Weak-ass rappers? You started that trend

Munroe is Storm of the X-Men, who flies by riding the wind.

Like Johnny Storm, it's time to flame on

In the game of life you're just a pawn

Storm is the Human Torch, whose catchphrase is "flame on."

Bringing down the hammer like I was Don Blake

Your soul I'll steal, your spirit I'll break

In the early days, Thor had a human alter ego, Don Blake, who was a handicapped doctor. Thor's weapon, of course, is his hammer.

As if you were Reed Richards, stretchin the truth

Your fans go bye, your friends go poof

Richards is Mr. Fantastic whose powers involve being able to stretch his body to extreme lengths.

My rhymes fly over your head like Norrin Radd

I don't hate your flow, it just makes me sad

Radd is the Silver Surfer who flies around on a cosmic surfboard.

Bigger, faster, stronger, more

You already lost when you walked through the door

Smarter, wiser, better, best

You think you're the shit, but you're just like the rest

The chorus was probably the first thing I came up with on the song. The "bigger, faster, stronger" part was marketing language that I can't remember where I first got it from. On some level, it's probably a reference to the title of the South Park movie title, "Bigger, Longer and Uncut." There is also a documentary about steroid use--"Bigger, Faster, Stronger"--that I had seen that probably influenced it as well, but it's almost certainly a combination of factors.

It's clobberin' time like my name was Ben Grimm

You need to hit the track, you need to hit the gym

Grimm is the Thing, rounding out the Fantastic Four references. His catchphrase is "It's clobberin' time."

I'ma make you start drinkin like Tony Stark

Gonna lose your ass like Indy lost the ark

Stark is Iron Man. One of the most famous storylines he's in is where he's an alcoholic. The second line is a reference to the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark," where Indiana Jones who has found the Ark of the Covenant, but has it taken away, first by the Nazis, and then by the U.S. government.

Coming back from the dead like I was Jean Grey

You're stepping on stage like it's casual Friday

Grey is Marvel Girl or the Phoenix from the X-Men. She's known for repeatedly coming back from the dead.

Fists like Danny Rand, skin like Luke Cage

You're growing any anger, you're growing my rage

Rand is Iron Fist and Cage is Power Man, the two are the Heroes for Hire. One of Cage's powers is his impervious skin.

Like Bruce Wayne, I'm make your night dark

Blowin up your world like Kent to the Clark

Here at the midpoint of the song's verses, I make the switch from Marvel Comics characters to DC characters. Wayne is obviously Batman, also known as the Dark Knight. Clark Kent is Superman, whose origin story involves this homeworld, Krypton, exploding.

Like Dick Grayson, you never get the spotlight

You're hiding back stage, crying with stage fright

Grayson was the original Robin, the world's most famous sidekick and always in Batman's shadow.

Like Barbara Gordon, you got no legs

Eatin green ham, eatin green eggs

Gordon is Batgirl and was formerly known as Oracle after she was shot by the Joker and bound to a wheelchair for many years because of her injuries. The second line makes absolutely no sense in any context, but it popped into my head when I was writing this and it made me laugh my ass off, so I decided to keep it.

All ladies treat you like they were Kate Kane

Your love life is circlin the drain

Kane is Batwoman and she is a lesbian.

Bigger, faster, stronger, more

You already lost when you walked through the door

Smarter, wiser, better, best

You think you're the shit, but you're just like the rest

The chorus again.

I'ma make you tell the truth like Diana Prince

Who loves me more? Your own fucking parents

Prince is Wonder Woman, whose magic lasso makes people tell the truth.

Like Barry Allen, I'm running past your ass

You can't Punch Out even fucking Joe Glass

Allen is the Flash. Punch Out was a popular boxing simulation game for the original Nintendo. Your first, and weakest, opponent was Joe Glass, as in he had a glass jaw and was easy to beat.

I'm Hal Jordan, this is my space

Get out of my face, get out of my place

Jordan is the Green Lantern, effectively a space cop who serves as the guardian of Earth and its surrounding space.

You got no power, you got no wish

Like Arthur Curry, you can talk to fish

Curry is Aquaman. He has long been a punchline because of his power set, which people falsely limit to "talking to fish."

As if you were Alec Holland, sleepin in the muck

You're all outta time, you're all outta luck

Holland is the Swamp Thing.

Like Ted Kord, you're about to get capped

Your own fuckin friends stab you in the back

Kord was the Blue Beetle, who was shot and killed by his supposed friend, Max Lord.

Using acronyms like Billy Batson

I'm H.A.M., T.R.O.Y., what son?

Batson is Captain Marvel a.k.a. Shazam. Shazam is an acronym which is made up of the names of seven ancient heroes who he draws his powers from. The H.A.M. acronym comes from the Kanye West song of the same name and stands for "hard as a motherfucker." T.R.O.Y. is from the Pete Rock and CL Smooth song and means "they reminisce over you."

Like Oliver Queen, I'm hitting bullseyes

Your rhymes are so shitty, they're covered with flies

Queen is Green Arrow.

Bigger, faster, stronger, more

You already lost when you walked through the door

Smarter, wiser, better, best

You think you're the shit, but you're just like the rest

The chorus again.

"good kid, m.A.A.d city," Kendrick Lamar (HHES Review)

Here's my review of Kendrick Lamar's album "good kid, m.A.A.d city," using the Hip Hop Evaluation System (HHES).

The first song, "Sherane" isn't a great start to the album. It isn't a bad song, but it's not my type of song, kind of a slower, getting laid type of jam. It's better than most songs like this, but that's not a high bar. The transition to the next song is great, with the recording of Kendrick's parents being fun and entertaining.

"Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe" is a much better song. I had to hear it a few times for it to sink in, and I don't love the title, but the rest of the lyrics are just plain poetry and Kendrick is opening up about his internal thoughts and feelings like few rappers do.

The next song is one of my favorite songs of 2012. "Backseat Freestyle" bangs harder than just about any song in the last 10 years. The production is perfect and while the lyrics don't exactly tear the world up, Kendrick's delivery is complicated, varied and just plain amazing.

"The Art of Peer Pressure" is the N.W.A. song written by the smart, quiet member of the gang. The guy that's the opposite in attitude of Ice Cube. It's totally some "CNN of the Streets" type shit and it's an impressive song, even if the production is a little more subdued that I would like. It matches Kendrick's vocal style, but he's so low-key at times, you underestimate him.

If anything on the album jumps in your head and sticks, it's the repeated "ya bish," on "Money Trees," another downtempo song that continues the ongoing story that effectively makes the album a "hip hopera." It's a song that grows on you over time and is hard to get out of your head once it gets in.

I'm a big fan of conceptual puns and the next song, "Poetic Justice," is built on a pretty good one, with a Janet Jackson sample being the driving force of the track. Janet played "Justice" in the John Singleton film with the same name as the song. It's catchy, but it's far from my favorite song on the album, lyrically speaking, as it revisits the themes of "Sherane."

"Good Kid" is a bit jarring at times, because Kendrick's speed, which is impressive, frequently outpaces the beat and the hook. The lyrics are are pretty thoughtful examination of gang life and, again, are more personally revealing than most songs of the same genre.

"m.A.A.d city" probably has the best production on the album aside from "Backseat Freestyle." I get the brilliance of having laid back, downtempo tracks matched up with Kendrick's very fast and diverse delivery, but I'd like more of hearing him work with faster, harder beats. This is one of those times and it stands out. MC Eiht adds a great guest appearance to an album that doesn't have many of them.

On "Swimming Pools (Drank)," you probably have the most successful example of the slower beat/faster flow phenomenon I just explained. This song also has one of the better hooks on the album. It's also a good enough rumination on addiction that it would've been at home on a Macklemore album.

The next track "Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst," is loaded with lyrics that continue the album's ongoing story well enough, but the hook is so jarring it turns me off. The production here is amongst the best on the album, but Kendrick's delivery is starting to get a little repetitive by this time on the album and it doesn't help that this song is 12 minutes long.

"Real" improves upon the previous track quite a bit, except for another inexplicably bad hook. "Compton" is another song held back by the "hook," although the rest of the song is pretty good, and an appearance by Dr. Dre gives a nice vocal contrast to Kendrick's voice, which after this point is losing its originality and novelty.

Overall Analysis

Flow: 10. Kendrick has a great voice and he has a lot of range and changes up his style frequently enough that it stays exciting.

Lyrics: 10. Kendrick is a poet with a strong voice, and an honest open writing style.

Message: 8. The messages here are pretty loud and clear, although I'm not sure I love the concept behind the concept album.

Technical: 9. Kendrick does a lot of complicated things on this album and most of them work.

Production: 7. The beats here are mostly very original, but too many of them are downtempo and sometimes jarring.

Versatility: 8. Starts off very strong, but gets into a little bit of a rut by the end.

Collaborators: 8. There aren't many, but most of them are strong, particularly MC Eiht and Dr. Dre. I didn't even notice Drake on "Poetic Justice," which is probably a good thing.

History: 9. This album is all about personal and real world history and it tells a good story. It's lighter on music history, but that's okay, it's not really about that kind of thing, so the absence is valid.

References: 8. Because of the heavy emphasis on the story and ongoing theme, there aren't as many obvious references here as you might find on other albums. But the references that are here are usually pretty good and smarter than your average rapper.

Originality: 10. There aren't other albums like this.

Total Score: 87. Great album, and a higher score than albums like "Yeezus" or "Magna Carta...Holy Grail," that I reviewed recently. If Kendrick can improve upon this on his next joint, he'll have a pretty good case for being at or near the top of the rap game.

Twisted (With Footnotes)

<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd">Core Nerd by Professor Rex</a>

Here is the fifth in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "Twisted."

The premise of "Twisted" is very straightforward--team up childhood tongue twisters with hardcore drug references. The idea was to do something that would be provocative by its very nature, but would also be the most technically difficult song to rap. The song is not an endorsement of drug use, more a depiction of it. But it's also NOT an anti-drug song. The idea is that drugs, like most other things, are a topic that is loaded with misinformation and paranoid propaganda and that the subject needs to be demystified in order to lead us to a better place. Casual responsible drug use can be a very good thing, particularly in a situation where drugs are regulated and safe. They can expand one's mind, in particularly in getting one outside their own myopic ways of thinking about things and they can increase sympathy and empathy, things that our society sorely needs more of. They are, of course, also very dangerous, not only for those who abuse them, but for those who take them when their are interactions with other medications or medical conditions that individuals have. My take is that prohibition is EXACTLY the worst way of dealing with the problems associated with drugs. That's the context behind the song, but the song itself is a humorous song and is not meant to be a serious examination of the issue, but something that makes people dance and laugh.

The title refers to three things: 1. The tongue twisters, 2. The narrator is high or "twisted," 3. How fucked up it is that someone is rapping about drugs and kids rhymes.

A to the B to the C to the D to the E to the F to the G

To the 1, 2, 3, you and me, he and she

One of the things that people on drugs do is talk nonsense. I wanted to give a taste of that here at the beginning, by having the narrator just start rapping the alphabet. I wanted it to go on long enough to just start to annoy the listener or make them question what the hell they were listening to right before I switched and moved on.

Her and him, Jane & Jim, Jack & Jill

Bill & Hill, let's get ill

In addition to the nonsense references throughout the song, another drug-related idea is the stream-of-consciousness style thinking that high people engage in, where they jump from topic to topic, often with little connection or with connections that only they perceive, based on the drug they are using. "Jane & Jim" here is also a little play, as it refers to the "Dick and Jane" books that kids used to be taught to read with, but, as is often the case with people who are high, the narrator gets the names wrong. Most people won't get that reference, but they will get the next one, which is the first obvious reference to children's lit. As the narrator is already high, he randomly jumps to the Clintons with the next couple, probably only because of the rhyme. The last part of this one, the word "ill" has multiple meanings, primarily that the song is about to get sick and twisted, lyrically speaking, but also that it's also going to be some difficult technical rapping that most people couldn't do.

Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled rolling papers

Down at the corner store

Peter Piper is probably the most famous of these tongue twisters, at least it was when and where I was growing up, so I led with it. I don't know what pickled rolling papers are, but I'm pretty sure you can't get them at the corner store.

Dime bag, zig zag, Phillie blunt

More fucking more fucking more

The first part is total free association with weed-related terms. The second line is a typical drug reaction, that you want more and more of whatever drug it is, as the euphoric feeling declines and the addictiveness goes up.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers

Flubber baby snuggy dumpers

Pretty baby tourist humpers

Shitty baby forrest gumpers

"Rubber baby buggy bumpers" is another really famous one, and the idea here was to try to make the four lines here rhyme as much as possible (also making them more difficult to memorize). "Flubber" was an obvious rhyme and cultural reference. "Snuggy dumpers" was specifically a baby reference and goes along with "shitty baby." The Forrest Gump reference made me laugh outside when I first thought of it, so I had to include it.

Squier like Billy, Steve like Perry

AC to the DC in Washington D.C.

This song was written well before I moved to D.C., but I've always been a fan of the city. The rest of this section is an inside joke for people who know me. Journey, AC/DC and Billy Squier rank among my least favorite musical artists ever, thus I'd have to be high to want to listen to them or reference them.

My mammoth is wooly, my jacket is fleecy

When I was a kid I knew Ryan Creecy

"Fleecy" rhymed with "D.C.," and "wooly" related to jackets as well, thus the reference, but still part of the scrambled drug train of thought. I did know a guy named Ryan Creecy when I was a kid and I've never heard a word that rhymed with Creecy and not thought of his name, so I figured it fit well here.

I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop

Where she sits, she hits

When she hits, she shines

When she shines, she dreams

When she dreams, she screams

I wasn't as familiar with this rhyme, although I had heard it before. I figured in the context of the song, why would she just be sitting in a shoe shine shop if she wasn't high. There is also a hint here that her trip started to go bad at the end.

It's not about morality, it's all about reality

The chorus begins with a line that I took from an NWA song "Gangsta Gangsta," because NWA also did "Dopeman." The original sample comes from Boogie Down Productions' song "My Philosophy," which was the inspiration for my first song, "The Lesson." Two references to hip hop artist who heavily influenced me and another subtle drug reference as well.

Leavin shit behind, bustin out my mind

Steppin over the line, snortin the line

A string of getting high references culminates in stepping over the line, but line, of course, has a strong drug connotation, so I couldn't let it go by without making this reference, which made me laugh out loud when I wrote it.

Swinging on vines, be kind rewind

Steppin on land mines, feeling fine

Being blind, outta wine

Outta my mind, outta time

Outta my mind, out of time

A string of random references here showing the effects of the drugs on the narrator. Also a reference to the movie "Be Kind Rewind," which stars another of my favorite rappers, Mos Def, and the fact that I'm guessing that movie's biggest audience is stoners.

Next is the next is the next is the E

Floggy Molly is just a hobby holly

MDMA got you feeling like a champion

Getting super ill like King's Charles Campion

This might be my favorite section in the whole song. The lines here revolve around the drug MDMA, which is also frequently referred to as "molly," "ecstasy" and "E" (in its various forms) The first line is from a Moby song, with Moby being the type of artist you might find playing at a rave or other place where you might find widespread use of MDMA. The second line takes the band name Flogging Molly and turns it into a synonym for using the drug. Also in the narrator's claim that he doesn't do that much molly, he makes the "hobby holly" reference, which is a song title from the band Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, which I'm guessing, is NOT a band that a lot of molly users would be into. The narrator of the song, however, has more eclectic tastes than most, partially as evidenced by the next line, which is a direct quote from Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind." The last reference is to the first named character in Stephen King's "The Stand," Charles Campion, who is effectively patient zero in superflu outbreak that takes out most of the world population, and is also among the first to die in the novel. But "ill" also has two other meanings here, one is a reference to being very high, the other is to being a dope rhymer, which in and of itself is a reference back to the drugs in the song. Layers upon layers in this song.

To sit in solemn silence in a dull dark dock

In a pestilential prison with a life long lock

I will admit that this one was new to me when I looked up tongue twisters for this song, but I liked it so much that I had to include it. I figured that it would be really difficult to memorize, but it turns out it wasn't. The line comes from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Mikado" and obviously fits the tough tongue twister mold, but it could just as easily be taken as a drug addiction reference.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for nice dreams

The childhood ice cream quote is twisted here to match up with the Cheech and Chong movie "Nice Dreams," wherein the stoners sold weed out of an ice cream truck.

I cream, you cream, we all cream for tight genes

The rhyme here was pretty obvious to me, with the sexual innuendo being legit because many drugs make people horny. But I also went with the double reference that people would only get if they read the lyrics. "Tight jeans" are obviously a turnon, but so would be an attractive person who has "tight genes."

She sells seashells down by the seashore

She sells crack out the back of the seashell store

Don't come before 10 o'clock, do the special knock

She gotta glock, she got rock in stock

Another really famous one here and I immediately thought that if "she" were going to sell anything, it would probably be crack, so the famous seashell store became a front for a drug dealer, who has her rules about when users can come by and buy things, her code for announcing that you were a buyer (and not of seashells), the weapon she uses to protect her stash, and her product of choice.

She's a fox in some socks, ants in her pants

She'll make a little love, she'll do a little dance

When tweedle beetles battle in a bottle with a paddle

It's a tweedle beetle paddle puddle bottle battle

Ever since I first read "Fox in Socks" to my kids, I thought the part with the tweedle beetles needed to be in a hip hop song, it was just too much like rap not to be. That thought was probably the original germination of the idea of this song. The first, third and fourth lines come directly from the Dr. Seuss book and the third one, added in for the rhyme, comes from KC and the Sunshine Band's "Get Down Tonight," with "getting down" being a synonym for getting high. Also, as a disco song, KC's music was heavily played in drug-fueled nightclubs of the 1970s like Studio 54.

It's not about morality, it's all about reality

Leavin shit behind, bustin out my mind

Steppin over the line, snortin the line

Swinging on vines, be kind rewind

Steppin on land mines, feeling fine

Being blind, outta wine

Outta my mind, outta time

Outta my mind, out of time

The chorus again.

Can you can a can as a canner can

Can a can?

My dealer is a woman, yours is a man

Bills, bills, bills, wham bam thank you man

I really liked the heavy use of alliteration in the canner line and the woman/man lines here brought in the same type of rhyme repetition. The use of the Destiny's Child song title also reinforced that repetition/alliteration pattern. The final part is a pun on the old saying that Urban Dictionary suggests in a crude way is about a sexual quickie.

Snorting weed, smoking lines, dropping tabs, getting pissed

Some might think that the lines are messed up when I perform this live, but the idea is the narrator is getting high enough now that his speech is getting messed up. I purposely switch the ingestion methods of coke and weed here to get that across.

Fuck you Harris, I do exist

Watching stand up comedy while high is a very common activity in some circles. This line is a quote from Aziz Ansari's first comedy special, which is hilarious, and also seems like something a high person would say.

My agent said my moneys in Security First and National Trust

But I can't pay attention cuz I'm on that dust

The second line here was added first and is a reference to both "Slow Ride," by the Beastie Boys, and "Same As It Ever Was," by House of Pain. The other line was added because of the rhyme. When singing these lines, I always space out as if I'm not paying attention, an obvious verbal version of the second line.

What the shit am I talking about

My brain is on walkabout

The next few lines are one of the most obvious sequences of the narrator's stream-of-consciousness ranting because he's high. He says his brain is on walkabout and then proceeds to verbally go on walkabout, with a stream of unrelated references.

I got 99 for my Klout

The social media influence site measures your influence on a scale of 1-100, with 99 obviously being really good.

Shout, shout, let it all out

Tears for Fears, "Shout."

Shout, shout, heavyweight bout, got no doubt

Continuing the Tears for Fears reference with two unrelated rhymes.

Gwen Stefani, jam on it, ride the pony, Mony Mony

Continuing the "no doubt" line above with the lead singer of the band No Doubt, then an old school rap reference to the famous song by Newcleus, then a R&B reference to the Ginuine song and ending the line with the Tommy James/Billy Idol hit.

Hey, hey what, get laid get fucked

Back when we were young and the song "Mony Mony" came on, there are these long pauses in the lyrics that we as teenagers had learned to fill in with this chant.

This song izdashit, check out my gravel pit

The first part is a reference to one of my other songs on this same mixtape. The second is a Wu-Tang Clan song.

It's not about morality, it's all about reality

Leavin shit behind, bustin out my mind

Steppin over the line, snortin the line

Swinging on vines, be kind rewind

Steppin on land mines, feeling fine

Being blind, outta wine

Outta my mind, outta time

Outta my mind, out of time

The chorus again.

How much pot could a pot roast toast

If a pot roast could get roasted

How much toast could a toastmaster toast

If a toastmaster could get toasted

These two were pretty easy to repurpose as drug references, since "roast" and "toast" are words often associated with getting high and/or drunk.

How can a clan cram in a clean cream can

Stuck in another one with really great alliteration, which I continue in the next few lines.

How can the Klan konklave in the cream corn

Total nonsense, but meant to poke fun at the KKK

How can Kimberly Kane profit off of web porn

Kimberly Kane is a real porn star and this was meant to represent the idea that people who are high have really deep thoughts and ask big questions about completely pointless topics.

How can I get a crest on my head like Michael Dorn (he played Worff on Star Trek)

And really stupid questions about pointless topics, too.

How much woodchuck could a woodchuck drink

If a woodchuck could drink woodchuck fuck

Bringing back the toastmaster/pot roast rhymes from above, this time with the more famous woodchuck rhyme, which was easy to pair with the cider drink of the same name.

How many boards could the Mongols hoard

If the Mongol hordes got bored

Another tongue twister, this one being one that people seem to love the most when they hear the song.

Mushroom mountain, chocolate fountain

Tip drill, road kill, Beverly Hills, purple pills

I've been to the motherfucking mountaintop

Watching panties drop, escapin the cops, using visine eye drops

Another stream-of-consciousness rant, this time with references to: psychedelic mushrooms/the drug song "Purple Pills" by D12, the gross chocolate fountain at Golden Corral, the even more gross song by Nelly, dead animals on the road, the Weezer song, D12 again, a reference tying in Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream Speech"/the D12 song/really subtle commentary on the freedom from the war on drugs, sex, and measures to avoid getting in trouble for using drugs.

It's not about morality, it's all about reality

Leavin shit behind, bustin out my mind

Steppin over the line, snortin the line

Swinging on vines, be kind rewind

Steppin on land mines, feeling fine

Being blind, outta wine

Outta my mind, outta time

Outta my mind, out of time

The chorus again. I noticed that, unlike a lot of rappers and singers, I don't do a lot of the off-the-cuff stuff at the end of songs, so I wanted to add that in here, but I don't really do much in the way of adlibbing or freestyling, so I wrote them into the song.

Time, time, time, time

Twisted, twisted, twisted, twisted

The continuation of the last line of the chorus and then the name of the song.

Sister, sister, sister, sister

Brother, brother, brother, brother

Father, father, father, father

Mother, mother, mother, mother

Fucker, fucker, fucker, fucker

The first line was meant to tie in with the previous line and reference the 80s hair metal band. Then it went through the whole family so it could end on "mother fucker."

Uh ah, uh uh ah

Uh ah, uh uh ah

These seemingly random sounds are actually a reference to an old Kid N Play song, "Funhouse."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I've been to the motherfucking mountain top

I've been to the motherfucking mountain top

I've been to the motherfucking mountain top

I've been to the motherfucking mountain top

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ending up with a reference back to the mushroom mountain/MLK reference in the last verse, which seemed like a great place to end the song.

The Response to Kendrick Lamar's "Control" Verse

The Twitter is ablaze with talk of Kendrick Lamar's new verse on the Big Sean track "Control," which throws down the gauntlet for pretty much every young rapper in the game, quite a few of them explicitly. Kendrick is bold in calling himself the "King of NY" and for telling pretty much every other rapper that they should just give up. While none of the rappers named in the song have dropped response tracks yet, quite a few others have.

First, though, let's take a look at Kendrick's verse:

Miscellaneous minds are never explainin' their minds

Devilish grin for my alias aliens to respond

Peddlin' sin, thinkin' maybe when you get old you realize

I'm not gonna fold or demise

B*tch, everything I rap is a quarter piece to your melon

So if you have a relapse, just relax and pop in my disc

Don't pop me no fucking pill, I'mma a pop you and give you this

Tell Flex to drop a bomb on this shit

So many bombs, ring the alarm like Vietnam on this shit

So many bombs, make Farrakhan think that Saddam in this b*tch

One at a time, I line em up and bomb on they mom while she watching the kids

I'm in a destruction mode if the gold exists

I'm important like the Pope, I'm a Muslim on pork

I'm Makaveli's offspring, I'm the king of New York

King of the Coast, one hand, I juggle them both

The juggernaut's all in your jugular, you take me for jokes

Live in the basement, church pews and funeral faces

Cartier bracelets for my women friends I'm in Vegas

Who the fuck y'all thought it's supposed to be?

If Phil Jackson came back, still no coachin' me

I'm uncoachable, I'm unsociable

Fuck y'all clubs, fuck y'all pictures, your Instagram can gobble these nuts

Gobble dick up til you hiccup, my big homie Kurupt

This the same flow that put the rap game on a crutch

I've seen n*ggas transform like villain Decepticons

Mollies'll prolly turn these n*ggas to fucking Lindsay Lohan

A bunch of rich ass white girls looking for parties

Playing with Barbies, wreck the Porsche before you give em the car key

Judgement to the monarchy, blessings to Paul McCartney

You called me a black Beatle, I'm either that or a Marley

I'm dressed in all black, this is not for the fan of Elvis

I'm aimin' straight for your pelvis, you can't stomach me

You plan on stumpin' me? B*tch I’ve been jumped before you put a gun on me

B*tch I put one on yours, I'm Sean Connery

James Bonding with none of you n*ggas, climbing 100 mil in front of me

And I'm gonna get it even if you're in the way

And if you're in it, better run for Pete's sake

I heard the barbershops spittin' great debates all the time

Bout who's the best MC? Kendrick, Jigga and Nas

Eminem, Andre 3000, the rest of y'all

New nggas just new nggas, don't get involved

And I ain't rockin no more designer shit

White T’s and Nike Cortez, this is red Corvettes anonymous

I'm usually homeboys with the same n*ggas I'm rhymin' wit

But this is hip-hop and them n*ggas should know what time it is

And that goes for Jermaine Cole, Big KRIT, Wale

Pusha T, Meek Millz, A$AP Rocky, Drake

Big Sean, Jay Electron', Tyler, Mac Miller

I got love for you all but I'm tryna murder you n*ggas

Tryna make sure your core fans never heard of you n*ggas

They dont wanna hear not one more noun or verb from you n*ggas

What is competition? I'm tryna raise the bar high

Who tryna jump and get it? You better off tryna skydive

Out the exit window of 5 G5’s with 5 grand

With your granddad as the pilot he drunk as fuck tryna land

With the hand full of arthritis and popping prosthetic leg

Bumpin Pac in the cockpit so the shit that pops in his head

Is an option of violence, someone heard the stewardess said

That your parachute is a latex condom hooked to a dread

I'll say this first, I like Kendrick and he had one of the best albums of 2012, but he isn't quite the king of anything yet. He might get there, but he hasn't put in the time and earned it and he pretty much knows that and says it by pointing out that Jay-Z and Nas are at his level or higher, making it obvious one of them is more the king of NY than he is.

But I like what he did here. When's the last time there was the last time that you saw this much talk about a newly released song? Particularly a song that wasn't being criticized for dumb-ass references to Emmett Till, sexual assault or equating gold chains with slavery? Probably Kanye when he dropped "New Slaves," and before that not much. And I can't see any of those other songs inspiring so many responses, not only including the ones that are already out, but the many more to come.

Let's take a look a look at those that have come out so far...

Artist: KR
Song: "Lost Control"
Originality?: I guess, it doesn't sound like the other responses or what you hear on the radio, but it doesn't grab me.
Does it come hard?: Mostly, KR goes after a number of additional rappers that Kendrick didn't.
Best line: Doesn't really have any standout lines.
Verdict: I probably wouldn't listen to this again and it doesn't make me want to listen to any of his other stuff.

Artist: Cassidy
Song: "Control Freestyle"
Originality?: Mostly, there are some tired lines, but most of it is stuff I haven't heard before.
Does it come hard?: Yeah, despite his voice, which is a little squeaky.
Best line: "Even if your flow is sick/I disinfect you/I'm special/if you're plugged in I disconnect you."
Verdict: This is one of the better responses, I'll check out more of his stuff and will probably listen to this again.

Artist: Lupe Fiasco
Song: "SLR 2"
Originality?: Yes. Some of the dopest lyrics on any of these tracks and a wide variety of delivery styles that show that he isn't playing.
Does it come hard?: Yes, not just lyrically, but in the intellectual weight of the lyrics and the ability to copy. Kendrick's style and other people's styles, as if there isn't anything anyone else can do that he can't do
Best line: "Team me is like meat eating animals meeting a meteor/Dinosaurs, I'm fine with all kinds of wars/Knives and swords, lions, tigers bitin' boars."
Verdict: Lupe is my favorite rapper of this group and this just adds to that.

Artist: Mickey Factz
Song: "South Park"
Originality?: Yeah, he seems to have put more thought into the lyrics and metaphors than most of this gang, particularly with the series of puns on various other young rappers names. Very nice.
Does it come hard?: Yeah, not as hard as some of the others, he says he's having fun, but it's hard enough to get the point across.
Best line: "I'd rather battle Picasso and Dali in the gardens of Garvey/Shadowbox with Ali, postin up Barkley."
Verdict: Enough to make me a fan.

Artist: Astro
Song: "KONY"
Originality?: Yes, very good backing track and funny and intelligent lyrics dripping with references.
Does it come hard?: Pretty much. It's not 2Pac hard, but it's Jay-Z hard.
Best line: "Let's battle, it's nothing, you weak, I feel like you're bluffing/You the king? Oh my bad, boy, I feel like you puffin'."
Verdict: Good stuff. I'd listen to this and Astro again.

Artist: B.o.B
Song: "How to Rap"
Originality?: Musically yes, lyrically, not at all.
Does it come hard?: Not really. He defends himself by making a poppy song and by playing guitar.
Best line: "25 million singles worldwide, I'll guess I'll take another hit/Matter of fact I find this rap shit boring, man I'm over it/Give me my guitar pick, I'll show you shit."
Verdict: Better than most of what I've heard from B.o.B, but he isn't convincing anybody that he belongs in this conversation.

Artist: Los
Song: "Control (Freestyle)"
Originality?: Maybe, it's hard to figure out what the hell he's talking about. The track jumps all over the place and doesn't really address what Kendrick is talking about.
Does it come hard?: No. It tries to for a few seconds in the middle, between talking about Facebook and Twitter and saying how much he likes Kendrick and everyone Kendrick mentions.
Best line: "They gone have to have me shackled and tackled at tabernacles/While havin my adams apple detached in a baptist chapel."
Verdict: Nope. Probably the worst of all the tracks. Doesn't sound terrible, but the words just don't make any sense.

Artist: Fred the Godson
Song: "Say My Name"
Originality?: Not at all. I've heard these rhymes before, some of them today.
Does it come hard?: A little bit. He's trying to come hard, but the boringness of the lyrics undercuts it. And when the lyrics come hard, he doesn't.
Best line: "You got New York sick so you the cancer/It's like Philly '96 draft, I'm the answer."
Verdict: The backing track is tight, but this is mostly worthless.

Artist: Joell Ortiz
Song: "Outta Control"
Originality?: Lyrically, it's pretty good after the first few bars, which seem pretty typical. His flow, though, doesn't engage me that much.
Does it come hard?: Not as hard as he thinks it does, but it's not horrible.
Best line: "I'm Optimus Prime trucking your boulevard, just wishin'/That a star screams so I can go on a bombing mission."
Verdict: Not feeling his style, although he did have some pretty good lines.

Artist: Iman Shumpert
Song: "Dear Kendrick"
Originality?: Yeah, the only one of these tracks with a sense of humor and one of the few with a variety of deliveries within the song.
Does it come hard?: Not quite as hard as some of the others, but that's because Shumpert has a sense of humor.
Best line: "Got dammit/you could tell that I planned it/Them X-Men come help me take over the planet"
Verdict: Probably my favorite flow of any of these rappers, most of whom I never heard of before. I'll be checking him out more.

Artist: Mysonne
Song: "Uncontrollable"
Originality?: Pretty much, some very good rhymes, metaphors and flow.
Does it come hard?: Yep, although he makes the same "NY is mine" claim that Kendrick made, and it belongs to neither of them.
Best line: "Jewish, Christians, Baptists, Muslims/Scholars, hippies, trappers, hoodlums/I ball with any being, believing in authenticity/This money shit these rappers be screaming don't mean shit to me."
Verdict: Good shit, I'll check out more of his stuff and this is probably the best of these tracks that uses the original song's beat.

Artist: Da Youngfellaz
Song: "Turn Down That Sound"
Originality?: Not particularly.
Does it come hard?: No, they don't go directly after Kendrick and a lot of the lyrics its kinda like, how is this a response?
Best line: "We spit crack here/the way that he rap rare/Like rhyming with black hair."
Verdict: I like some of the lyrics, but the beat and the hook put me to sleep. May listen to some of their other stuff, but that'd be despite this, not because of it.

My favorite response, though, has got to be Kevin Hart's parody, which you can watch at Vibe.

Lots of good Tweets about the verse, too, which you can check out at AllHipHop.com.

My favorite is from Big Daddy Kane, who said: "ATTENTION M.C.'S: Complaining about @kendricklamar verse on twitter is Gossip. Getting in the studio trying to write a better one is Hip Hop"

Update: Two more responses have come in, so I'm adding them below. I'll continue to add new responses as they come out, although anybody who has waited this long has waited too long and whatever they come up with will be weaker just based on its lack of timeliness. Where are the guys Kendrick called out? Where are people like Fabolous, who tweeted about finding a studio that day? Still nothing?

Artist: Riff Raff
Song: "Ballin' Outta Control (The Neon Response)"
Originality?: Yep, the lyrics are poetic and lofty and really unlike any of the other rappers that have done responses.
Does it come hard?: Unless its ironic, not at all. He loves everybody.
Best line: "Still I wish success on everybody, never had a carbon-copy/I hope you have a beautiful family and your label is successful, financially."
Verdict: Once you get past the really annoying and repetitive intro, it's not bad. It's light on material and it's a little hard to understand what he's saying, but it at least tries to do something different.

Artist: Papoose
Song: "Control (Freestyle)"
Originality?: Nah, not really. The same kind of homophobic and anti-woman insults we hear all the time.
Does it come hard?: Hell yeah, hits harder than any of the previous responses.
Best line: "Singing like a lady/you get away with murder/you George Zimmerman."
Verdict: I already liked Papoose, and this doesn't change that much. I don't agree with everything he says in this verse, but it's a strong one that should help him elevate his name a bit.

Update: Joe Budden jumps in the mix
Song: "Lost Control" (Freestyle)
Originality?: Pretty good, the sound isn't super original, but the lyrics are better than most of the previous responses.
Does it come hard?: Yeah, although it doesn't seem like he's filled with rage or hate .
Best line: "I state facts, not to say it's wack but check the playback/Outrhyming A$AP ain't showing me where your weight at."
Verdict: Don't know much about Budden, but this will make me pay attention in the future.

"The Heist," Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (HHES Review)

Here's my review of the Macklemore and Ryan Lewis album "The Heist," using the Hip Hop Evaluation System (HHES).

From the beginning of the album, Ryan Lewis' production is top-notch. These beats don't sound like anything else I can think of, yet, at the same time, they don't sound alien. They sound familiar without sounding derivative or stale, which is one of the best sets of feelings a group of beats can evoke, I think. Add to that the complexity and original style that Macklemore delivers on each track, and you're in for something good.

The first song, "Ten Thousand Hours," is a perfect lead off track for a hip hop album. It doesn't cover much new territory, it's about making it in the game and the hard work and new ideas that Macklemore is bringing, but the fact is that he IS bringing new ideas, so the song gives a fresh take on the familiar.

Saying that "Can't Hold Us" is my least favorite single off the album isn't to say that I don't like it, just to say that I don't think it's as good as the other singles, as good as it is. And keep in mind that a lot of people disagreed with me, since they sent this song to #1. In terms of the album, it really just builds off of the first track, continuing those themes, but taking it up a level in terms of the rhetoric, as if this song was written quite a while after the lead track.

There isn't much to say about "Thrift Shop" that hasn't already been said. It's a perfect single, seeming like it's a gimmick song, but not really being a gimmick, since it's credible and its not just making fun of its subject, it's embracing it in a way that no one thought of first, yet in a way that so many people identify with. That's what great writing should do and there are few songs that do it as well as this in recent years.

"Thin Line," is, once again, a surprisingly original take on a well-worn subject in hip hop (and music in general for that matter), the battle that the performer faces in trying to balance the career of an artist with relationships that have normal expectations about what someone is supposed to contribute to that relationship. Again, nothing really original in the topic, but it all sounds original in Macklemore's voice and lyrics.

"Same Love" is most notable not because it's a pro-gay hip hop song, it's most notable for the very personal and accessible way that it tries to convince people of its key message. It isn't preachy and it doesn't talk down to the listener, something that is easy to mess up with such an important topic.

By the time we get to "Make the Money," the topics start to get a bit redundant on "The Heist," with yet another song about the game. Not much is added here that we didn't already hear in "Ten Thousand Hours" or "Can't Hold Us." Going in a new direction, for this album, at least, is "Neon Cathedral," which gives Macklemore's story of his own personal fight against addiction. And, again, the words here are more creative and original than most rappers these days, giving a new take on an old topic. "BomBom" is an odd instrumental interlude that shows that Ryan Lewis' compositions work better with Macklemore's voice than they do on their own.

"White Walls" is an odd interlude on the album, not only because of the guest appearance by Schoolboy Q, but because it's the only song on the album up to this point that engages in misogyny (mostly because of Schoolboy). The guest rap isn't poorly performed, it's just that the lyrics don't make a lot of sense in the context of the rest of the album or with Macklemore's overall image.

At this point in the album, "Jimmy Iovine" leads one to wonder why, if Macklemore is so good at writing the individual lines in the songs--and his lyrics are some of the best I've seen in years--why he's so bad at coming up with original song topics. "The Heist" almost seems to have a checklist of "official rap topics" that it is checking off. As noted above, most of these songs are better than most of the songs they follow in topicality, but wouldn't it be more interesting to write interesting takes on new topics, not just the same old stuff rappers have been talking about for decades? Another case in point is the next track, "Wings," which is one of the best shoe-related songs I've ever heard, but it's still yet another rap track about shoes, so we once again have an artist who really could help move the game forward taking a path that minimizes his ability to do so. And yes, I know that "Wings" is deeper than just being about "shoes," but shoes are the centerpiece of the song, so my point is still valid, I think.

The self-examination is a key to "A Wake," where Macklemore takes a look at his place in the national conversation on race as a white rapper. And, it seems, his reflection is not only a good look at his internal struggle, but a good look at the struggle that artists who care about issues that they aren't personally harmed by. As with "Same Love," Macklemore comes out on the right side of the issue and he does so in a way that should give quite a few others room to think and improve themselves as well.

The extended "Gold" metaphors on the next track are interesting and explore both materialism and the ideal world of the average rapper, but ultimately, the message of the song isn't exactly clear. I'm left wondering what the point is. "Starting Over" is exactly the opposite, where the message of recovery, relapse, rebirth, falling off the wagon and how one individual, even if he gets famous, doesn't have all the answers, no matter how much fans want them to, is not just clear, but powerful.

"Cowboy Boots" is a great closer, and one of my favorite songs on the album. I was originally pulled in by the "PBR" chorus, but the powerful nostalgia, not only of a certain time in life, but with a part of Seattle I visited a few times when I was working there, was what really kept me on board. This is a great song, one of quite a few on this album.

Overall Analysis

Flow: 10. Mackelmore has an original voice that is amplified by the fact that he takes a very original approach to delivering his lyrics.

Lyrics: 10. His lyrics are some of the most creative and original rap lyrics of all time, even when he's talking about tired topics.

Message: 9. On most of the songs on this album, it's clear what Macklemore is talking about, but he doesn't do all the thinking for you, he lets you come to your own conclusions.

Technical: 9. If you've tried to sing along to any of these songs and even remotely get close to Macklemore's delivery, you've probably failed a lot.

Production: 9. I don't think Ryan Lewis' stuff is the greatest in the world, but it's certainly better than most of what's on the radio and it matches up very well with Macklemore's flow.

Versatility: 6. There is some repetitiveness on this album that is forestalled a bit by the originality of the lyrics.

Collaborators: 10. While this group is mostly underground an unknown, Macklemore and Lewis did an amazing job of choosing people that complimented the songs. A lot of these people will go on to be more famous.

History: 10. These songs are dripping with history on many levels -- Macklemore's personal history, hip hop and music history, broader history. This is an artist with something to say and he's saying it well.

References: 9. Another area that Macklemore excels at is weaving historical and cultural references into his songs. There are so many of them in some of these songs that you have to have Rap Genius up to know what the hell he's talking about.

Originality: 10. Total originality. It won't be long till we see a bunch of imitators of this, since there isn't really anything like it already in existence, there's a lot of room for biters to copy it without being too derivative.

Total Score: 92. This really is an original statement and something new in hip hop, which is relatively rare these days when it comes to radio-friendly albums. One of the best of the last decade and beyond.

Kanye West - Yeezus (HHES Review)

Here's my review of the new Kanye West album "Yeezus," using the Hip Hop Evaluation System (HHES).

First up I'll say that I'm really impressed by the overall new direction of this album, which is one of the more exciting directions I've seen a rapper go in for a while. Second, I like that it's short and no-frills in terms of packaging, since the focus really should be on how original the music is.

"On Sight" starts the album off in a brilliant way. The first few sounds out of the speakers give you a very clear indication that this isn't what you've heard before, this is something new. At least from a sonic standpoint. Once the lyrics kick in, you see that this isn't the song where Kanye is going to challenge you with his words, although it does have quite a few good puns and references in it. They key is the production, though, which is possibly the strongest part of not only this song, but the album.

"Black Skinhead" kicks it up a notch. Or several notches. Not only does the song have one of the best backing tracks on the album, one that hits so hard you feel it physically, it's one of the strongest tracks Kanye has ever dropped lyrically. It's not even the best on the album, though, but lyrically it's a very good take on racism and haters that you are likely to hear on anyone's album. Ever.

"I Am a God" isn't quite as great lyrically as the songs that surround it, but it's an interesting response to a critic, particularly in defining how strange a person Kanye is and how big his ego is. The only bigger statement that "I am a god," would be "I am the god." That'll be on the next album. The production continues the theme of the other early songs on the album and continues to be radically different than most things other rappers have done.

"New Slaves" may be the best song Kanye has ever made. It has probably the most intelligent and hard-hitting criticism of the racism in the system by a popular artist since "Straight Outta Compton." It goes off the rails a little with the misogyny at the end of the second verse, but that can't take away from the power of the hard-hitting backing track and the attack on privately-owned prisons and the revival of the prison-lease system. The outro, sung by Kanye and Frank Ocean, adds a beautiful end to a great song.

What had been a near-perfect album up to this point starts to lose it a bit when "Hold My Liquor" comes on. Chief Keef adds nothing to the song which doesn't seem to have much of a point, other than continued quality production. The lyrics are a bit inane, really. The lyrics aren't much better on "I'm In It," which really isn't about much more than getting laid, and is quite a bit sexist.

"Blood On The Leaves" brings the socially conscious part of the album back, if not in Kanye's lyrics, which are about relationships, but in the Nina Simone sample. This isn't the first time on the album where Kanye compares or couples something non-political and seemingly inconsequential beyond his life with political or social content, but this is the place where it works best. The production continues to be epic and most of the songs on the album to this point could easily be part of a soundtrack for a large-budget movie that combines violence and strong emotion, like "Black Hawk Down." That's a compliment. The songs sound good enough that they'd be a great compliment to a scene about life and death.

"Guilt Trip" is far from the best song on the album, but the Chewbacca reference is probably the best line on the album. The song itself is a bit of filler, but it isn't harmed by the Kid Cudi interlude at the end.

"Send It Up" is the best use of guests on the album. King Louie is pretty good, but Beenie Man's outro is one of the emotional high points of the album. The noisiness of the backing track is perfect.

"Bound 2" is another song where the lyrics are pretty pointless, like many of Kanye's previous albums. But sound-wise it's the first song on the album that has a hopeful sound and it's a bit of a palate-cleanser that you need after the hardcore noise and darkness of the rest of the album's sounds (and that's not to downplay how powerful those tracks are, just stating that factually).

Overall Analysis

Flow: 8. Kanye has never had the best flow in the world, but he does keep getting better. This is the best he's done and on songs like "Black Skinhead" and "New Slaves," he's damned-near perfect and totally original.

Lyrics: 7. This may be the best collection of lyrics that Kanye has written, another thing that is not his strong point. There are a lot of clever turns of phrase on these songs and

Message: 8. While the message is a little messy at times and a sense of humor is largely absent except in spots here and there, the important messages are not lost. There are few better explanations of the reality of institutional racism than "New Slaves." Much of the rest of the album is the same message that Kanye always sends: I like getting laid, I'm awesome, I'm rich, I work harder than you do, my critics are stupid, etc., but there are enough touches of serious thoughts throughout the album to make you not worry too much about the repetitiveness of the messages from earlier records.

Technical: 8. Vocally, Kanye tries a lot of things here and they pretty much all work. In particular, the punk rap that he does on the first half of the album is amazing and not many other rappers could pull it off without sounding kinda dumb.

Production: 10. This has got to be one of my favorite albums, production-wise of the last 10 years. It is not only adventurous, it's ground-breaking. There might be some other rappers who have had albums with this kind of music behind the vocals, but you've probably never heard of them. And neither have I. This stuff will be around for a long time.

Versatility: 9. The album is too short to offer much chance for versatility, and yet it manages to do it not only well, but better than most hip hop records. The hardcore industrial of the early songs, the sample-led songs like "Blood on the Leaves" and "Bound 2" that totally change the style, the reggae vocals and judicious use of autotune offer a wide range of choices for any current rapper, but especially in 40 minutes.

Collaborators: 8. Vocal collaborators on the album are few and far between, but considering the vision that Kanye is putting forth here, that's legit. Having too many other people voicing these words wouldn't make sense and the songs that have the most additional vocals on them come off the weakest. There are some well-placed verses and samples here and there that are great and the producers on this are just plain amazing, so it seems like most of the choices in this area are very wise.

History: 9. The album shows an amazing mastery of the knowledge of music and rap history in the production and samples. Then it goes into songs like "New Slaves" that give a concise and important look at things like the prison industrial complex. If you don't learn something from this album, you aren't paying attention.

References: 9. The audio references are the most diverse and entertaining, but Kanye has just enough pop culture and rap references to keep the peeps at Rap Genus busy. This is the perfect mix of such things, I think.

Originality: 10. This is not only the most original album Kanye's put out, which is saying something, it's likely the most original album by a popular artist, in any genre, that 2013 will produce. It's hard to imagine anything that will be more surprising and out of left-field than this coming from other rappers. Or anyone else for that matter.

Total Score: 86. A total classic and likely the best thing Kanye will ever produce.

Liquid Thunder (With Footnotes)

One thing I wanted to do is to give the story and explain the references in the songs I write and produce. I wanted to do "Liquid Thunder" first because it contains the line "my rhymes are so dense, you're gonna need footnotes," which is actually the line that inspired this series of posts. So lets take a closer look at "Liquid Thunder."

As an individual song, it came together while I was sitting at open mic night at the Warehouse. I had some verses that I had written for some Cap City Mob songs that I liked, but since the other members of the band weren't performing at that point, I didn't want them to go to waste, so I came up with this song as a place to house those other lyrics for solo stage shows. So to bring them all together, I sat down and wrote a chorus that would make it clear that this song was a freestyle song -- not the way most people use the word now -- but the way it was used in the old school, where it meant a song that didn't have any particular binding theme, that it was just a series of cool rhymes. The name of the song, which is nonsensical, but references the first two verses and the later beer line, was meant to reinforce that freestyle nature of the song kinda the way "Rapper's Delight" doesn't tell you anything about the lyrics of that song.

The earliest version of the song had a couple of verses that were written by Kane Gruber of Cap City Mob, but when we parted ways, I ditched those lyrics and added a newer verse that I had written for a song with Cap City that never developed. At this point, everything in the song was written by me, although there is some possibility some line or phrase here or there was influenced by something Kane said or wrote. The first version of the song was done a capella at the Warehouse once or twice. The final version, with the below lyrics, was debuted at my first solo show and was part of the set at the frist H20 show and is scheduled for the Gaines Street Fest later this month.

The first 16 lines were written while driving in a car back from Marianna, Fla., where I had been teaching college classes. It was an hour-long drive and I did quite a bit of writing on those drives. This is one of the earliest things I wrote, shortly after songs like "The Lesson" and "Slave." The idea was simple, to write a series of metaphors and similies that revolved around lighting and thunder. These first 16 lines originally appeared in the Cap City Mob song "Pantheon," which was performed live a number of times.

I came to drop some thunder like the Tampa Bay Lightning

When the song was written, the Lightning had won either the previous Stanley Cup or the one right before that, so they were one of the top hockey teams in the world.

My rhymes are kinda scary and my rhymes are kind of frightning

You'll pull out your strap, you'll pull out your chrome

You know you can't survive in my verbal thunderdome

And obvious reference to the third movie in the Mad Max series.

I'll hit you with a hammer like a god named Thor

I was always a big reader of Marvel comics and liked the Thor character a bit when I was younger, so this reference was obvious.

I'm gonna make you stammer like a fool on the Repor(t)

A reference to the Colbert Report starring Stephen Colbert. In the early days of the show, people who came on the show unsure of what he was doing were often left stammering in the wake of his sharp wit.

I step on the stage you're gonna get wary then

I'll slice you up like Thundarr the Barbarian

One of my favorite cartoons when I was a kid, even if it was a rip-off of Star Wars and He-Man. Thundarr, of course, had the equivalent of a lightsaber.

Boom, boom, boom, the sound of your heart breaking

Boom, boom, boom, your foundation is quaking

The "boom boom boom" line was something that I had a memory of from another song at the time, but I can't currently remember where it came from.

Dead as a ghost if ya stepping up to me

Your girl can't put her arms around a memory

"Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory" is a song by punk rocker Johnny Thunders that I first learned about from the Guns N Roses punk cover album "The Spaghetti Incident."

Thunder, all through the night

You pray to see Jesus in the morning light

A direct lyrical tribute to the Prince song "Thunder," off the "Diamonds and Pearls" album.

Pray as hard as you can, pray as hard as you might

Even he can't save you from the pain you earned tonight

A continuation of the Jesus reference from the Prince song, I had to figure out a way to make the reference not imply that I was a believer, but that the target of the song was willing to try anything to get out of the conflict.

This is a song, all about how

I'm talking shit and getting on down

I know you don't believe a word I've said

I told you step up to my face and you'll be dead

The chorus, again meant to imply that the song isn't really about anything, but also to give an ironic boast, since I'm totally non-violent.

The next section was originally featured in the song "Cap City," which was originally an intro song for Cap City Mob with four different guys rapping. It was a good song and I really liked these lyrics, so I had to make sure I could re-use them. These are the first lyrics I ever wrote. Kane invited everybody over for a recording session, even though I had never done anything like that before, and this was the result.

My name is T. Rex, I love freaky sex

I'ma fuck your mama and your sister's next

My dick is hard and my back is week

I'm gonna need a nurse to be my freak

The first four lines was specifically meant to be a ironic parody of a 2 Live Crew song. I have never had sex with someone's mother and her sister. My back isn't really weak, either.

We can step on the court and I'm gonna blast

Like Bill Laimbeer, I'ma bust ya ass

I've always loved playing basketball and I was playing a lot at the time I wrote this. My style of playing has changed a lot since then. At that time, I wasn't a good shooter or scorer, but was a good rebounder and defender and played a lot of rough street ball, hence the reference to Bill Laimbeer, once of the rough-and-tumble "Bad Boy" Detroit Pistons of the late 80s early 90s.

Eating szechuan, drinking Union Pabst Brew

Do what you wanna do, I'll do what I wanna do

The original line here referenced being part of Cap City Mob and after that was no longer true, I felt like I had to change it. "Brew" was the first word that came to mind and since my favorite beer is PBR, that was a natural fit. It was also a direct Beastie Boys reference to the line "Eating Colonel's Chicken, Drinking Heinken Brew" from "Slow Ride." Since I don't really eat KFC, I switched the line to something I do eat. The "do what I wanna do" line, which has a different rhythm from the rest of the original "Cap City" lyrics, and is repeated below, I was always very pround of, since I love the way it sounds.

My rhymes are so dense, you're gonna need footnotes

You're gonna memorize very word I wrote

I'll write your ass into a corner

Once you hear me, you're gonna need a coroner

I really loved the "dense" line when I wrote it and that line more than any is why I came up with "Liquid Thunder" as a way to keep these lyrics alive.

The people of Tally all call me the prof

I give 'em all an F and tell em fuck off

As an actual professor, this line was written as a mildly exaggerated complaint about bad students.

And if you don't like it, then motherfuck you

Do what you wanna do, I'll do what I gotta do

This is a song, all about how

I'm talking shit and getting on down

I know you don't believe a word I've said

I told you step up to my face and you'll be dead

The repeat of the best vocal part of the song and the chorus again.

The next verse was written many years later than the first two parts of the song. The first two verses were written in maybe 2007 give or take a few months. The next verse was written in late 2011 or early 2012. Kane originally had an idea about writing a song that was about how we were older guys, but we were still kicking ass. This was my contribution to that idea. I don't think that Kane ever did anything more with the song idea.

Derailing your dreams like I was Super 8

Obvious reference to the train crash that sets off the drama in the Stephen Spielberg/JJ Abrams monster movie.

Fucking with your future like Jon and Kate

When I was married, I was forced to watch a whole lot of the show "Jon and Kate Plus 8," which was a horrible "reality" show about how these two self-absorbed and annoying people had to raise eight kids, which can't possibly be a good thing. They've since divorced.

I'm old like fire, older than dirt

Still got your girlie pulling up her skirt

Another Beastie Boys reference, this time referring to the line "I told her some rhymes and she pulled up her skirt," from "The New Style," one of my favorite Beastie Boys songs.

The girls the girls they love me

This one is directly from Heavy D "The girls, the girls they love me/I'm the overweight lover Heavy D," from "Gyrlz."

You shackle 'em and I set them free

I take 'em to heights you'll never even try

This couplet is an homage to LL Cool J's "I'm That Type of Guy," where LL explains how he's so much better than other guys at how he treats women.

I don't believe I can, I know I can fly

Kicking R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" up a level.

Yeah I'm vintage, yeah I'm old school

That means I know a lot more than you do

I forgot more things than you'll ever know

The way I say "you'll ever know" here is another Beastie Boys reference, this time to "There's more to me than you'll ever know," from "Hey Ladies."

Every word I write minimizes your flow

I write metaphors that blow your simple mind

I kinda liked Simple Minds in the 80s and their name fit well into this line.

You can't grok what I rock when I tick and I tock sock

Pretty sure this is the only rap line ever written to combine Robert Heinlein and Dr. Dre. I loved the concept of "grokking" something from Heinlein's "Stranger in A Strange Land," and "Nothing But A G Thang" is one of my karaoke staples, combining them in a technically difficult line seemed natural to me.

Tearing down the system like an SLC Punk!

The final line of the movie SLC Punk is one of my guiding philosophies, so I had to give it a shout out.

No junk in my trunk, your girl's still bitin' my chunk

Another reference to the LL Cool J song "I'm That Type of Guy."

This is a song, all about how

I'm talking shit and getting on down

I know you don't believe a word I've said

I told you step up to my face and you'll be dead

Final chorus.

The first two times I performed this song, it was a capella. The current beat I use for it was one that I was trying to use for "The Lesson," but I realized it worked better for this song, so I transferred it over.

Go (With Footnotes)

Here is the second in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes."  Here they are...

This time, for the song "Go."

The origin of the song are in two other songs.  The first was the one that is now "Liquid Thunder."  There is a line in that song where thunder goes "boom boom boom," and I really liked that line and thought it would be good to rhyme again.  That line became the first line of the song.  The concept also was influenced by a song from the band I used to be in "Cap City Mob," which had a couple of lines in that repeated the same word at the end of the line and I really liked that part of it and though there should be a song with more of that.  So between those ideas, I though, what if I did a song that had a repetitive word at the end of each line, with rhymes and as a poetic trick, I would use that as the through-line of the song and not have a chorus.

The theme was pretty straight forward, I wanted a song where it was just about partying and having fun.  I had written mostly political songs to that point and I wanted to show that I wasn't always serious. My other songs were almost all Chuck D and I wanted a little Flavor Flav.

I walk in the room, go boom boom boom

The aforementioned reference to "Liquid Thunder" and the establishment of the premise that the partying is about to begin.

Jump in my car, go zoom zoom zoom

What else would a car do?  A specific reference to the massive Mazda "zoom zoom zoom" ad campaign.

Call you on the phone say yo yo yo

I get to your house time to go go go

Time to hit the party say yes yes yes

Are we ever gonna sleep say no no no

No real direct references in these lines, but the idea was to contrast the "yes" and "no" here.

Looking at your face, say what what what

Kiss you on the lips, smack your butt butt butt

At this point in my writing career, I had almost no sexual references in my songs, so I decided to add one here.

Hand me my drink time to say say say

Reference to the old Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney song "Say Say Say."  The idea was starting to be that I wanted to reference any thrice repeated one syllable pop culture reference, as long as it wasn't something I hated.  I liked Jackson and McCartney.

No time to work, time to play play play

Don't wanna play golf, no putt putt putt

As teenagers, we always ended up drinking and going to play Putt Putt golf.  To contrast that, since this is an adult song, so no more of that kind of entertainment.

Feel like I gotta bust a nut nut nut

Feel like Santa yelling ho ho ho

I couldn't think of two more disparate lines to follow each other.  I laughed out loud when I came up with this.  The Santa line makes no sense.

Just got paid, spending dough dough dough

References to two other popular party songs, "Just Got Paid," by Johnny Kemp, and a vague reference to "I Got a Feeling," by Black Eyed Peas.

It's after 10 o'clock, hit the club club club

Before we do that, hit the pub pub pub

No references here, but these things often happened when I was in Tallahassee, so they made it into the song.

Getting kinda ready to fly fly fly

Singing Johnny Gill kinda my my my

This song has a few more R&B references than I usually have, but I was a Gill fan back in the day, both as part of New Edition and solo.

Getting low, taking shots, shots, shots

Reference to two Lil' Jon party songs, "Get Low" and his collaboration with LMFAO, "Shots." Also a reference to the fact that the "shots shots shots" thing was something that me and my friends were saying constantly in 2012.

Don't wanna see no cops cops cops

Obviously, cops add little to the party.

Feelin good, need more shots shots shots

Quit partying? Probably not not not

On the agenda tonight: fun fun fun

Definitely a Beach Boys reference in the "fun fun fun" line.

Party until the world is done done done

Party like its one nine nine nine

I'm fascinated by anything apocalyptic and this couplet reaches into one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists, where Prince asked us to party like it's "1999."

The fun in the world is all mine mine mine

Tomorrow its back to work work work

This line points to the fact that most of my partying is done on week nights, not weekends.  

On the floor doing cool jerk jerk jerk

I was always a fan of the song "Cool Jerk," by the Capitols (and more importantly the Go-Go's cover).

Dropping all the bills bills bills

I was never a fan of Destiny's Child or "Bills, Bills, Bills," but it was too good a rhyme and too appropriate for the song to leave out.

Popping all the pills pills pills

Drinking all the drinks drinks drinks

Enjoying all the hijinks jinks jinks

These lines are pretty obvious.

Get out there bust a move move move

Shout out to Young MC, who I'm still a fan of.

In my heart is the groove groove groove

I also really, really like the Deee-Lite song "Groove Is In the Heart."

It's time of the day to be free free free

Finally, the real message of the song...

Too many drinks gotta pee pee pee

...followed immediately by the most juvenile joke of the song.

Club's clearing out, get some food food food

Not ready to kill my mood mood mood

This is always the way I feel after dancing/partying

The night's almost at an end end end

Get some sleep, get up, do it again gain gain

This describes how I felt in much of 2012 and 2013.  Never wanting the party to end and have to go back to real responsibilities, but realizing that there will soon be another party...

All My Neighbors Went to Afroman (with Footnotes)

Here is the third in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "All My Neighbors Went to Afroman."

This is the newest song on the mixtape, I probably only completed writing it a few weeks before the album was released. The original idea for it goes back months earlier, though, to when I was still living in Tallahassee. One night I went to a club to see Afroman. He was really, really late. Late enough, in fact, that I didn't get to see him. When I drove back to my apartment with my friend Sarah, I noticed that the entire parking lot was empty. I turned to her and said "all my neighbors went to Afroman." The phrase struck me as awesome, so I wrote it down. I had no idea for a song at that point, just the phrase. The rest of the song was written in Washington, D.C., mostly while riding the bus and metro to and from work.

All my neighbors went to Afroman

They didn't take me, not part of the plan

The chorus begins with the title and refers to the fact that I didn't actually get to see the Afroman show.

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't the one

A line taken directly from N.W.A.'s "Straight Outta Compton."

Let's get high and make our own fun

And, back to Afroman, because what would Afroman do if he wasn't going to get to go to a show? He'd get high.

1, 2, 3 and to the four

Indo, four beers, out the door

A shout-out to Snoop and Dre's "Nuthin But A G Thang," one of my signature karaoke songs.  I've probably done this song live more than any other.  Coupled with a reference to Snoop's "Gin and Juice," another one of my most common karaoke tracks.

Feeling funny, looking for the metro

Here you can tell that the song definitely shifts to D.C., since there is no metro in Florida.

This shit's not rap, it's electro

And then a zombie reference, directly relating to a line Ed says in "Shaun of the Dead."

Mulatto, albino, mosquito, libido

Han shot first, down goes Greedo

Roll to the church in your new tuxedo

These lines bring in the third city in which the song was written in.  I was living in the Seattle area for a job and, not surprisingly I was soaking up a lot of Nirvana and listening to a lot of their music.  I was listening specifically to "Smells Like Teen Spirit," when I realized that Star Wars' Greedo would easily fit into that rhyme scheme, so I made a reference to one of the movie's biggest controversies.  I liked the repetitive rhyme here enough that I wanted it to continue, so the idea of "Bust a Move," by Young MC popped into my head and that stuck.

Lookin like Borat in a fuckin speedo

This part was added in D.C. because I needed one more rhyme.  Obviously a reference to the movie by Sascha Baron Cohen.

Fritos, Funyons, pizza no onions

Cutting shit down like I was Paul Bunyan

Pretty straight-forward references here.  Part of the idea with the song is for there to be a lot of non-sequiturs,  both because I find them fun AND because the narrator is getting high, and therefore might say a lot of random unconnected things.

Jamming on the one

Reference to an old "Cosby Show" episode where the Huxtables visit a recording studio and Theo says this line, which is then put in a song.

I ain't done with the fun, hun

Son hand me all those sticky buns

Not a dry run, I'm not a hired gun

Getting my tan in the midnight sun

No real specific references here, but a continuation of the previous randomness of the song.

My shit's so heavy, it weighs a metric fuckton

In a number of of online circles that I run in, "a metric fuckton," is the preferred reference to "a lot" of anything.

All my neighbors went to Afroman

They didn't take me, not part of the plan

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't the one

Let's get high and make our own fun

This is a fun chorus to sing.

I'm not an alcoholic, I just drink a lot

To me, this is a reference to the song "Development," by Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip.  I think it's a wonderful bit of irony.  Apparently, though, it comes from a Pitbull song I've never heard. I thought that the irony was awesome and the lyrical presentation was great, so I spun it off into a rapidfire group of similar lines.

I'm not a drug addict, I just smoke a lot

I'm not a sex addict, I just fuck a lot

I'm not a fat rhymer, I just scheme a lot

I'm not a Sandman, I just dream a lot

Most directly, this last line is a reference to Neal Gaiman's Sandman, but it applies to other similar characters, as well. 

I'm not Limp Bizkit, I just rock a lot

I'm not machine, I just rage a lot

I only mildly have any interest in or admiration of the music of Limp Bizkit, but when Wes Borland is playing with them, they certainly do rock.  I love Rage Against the Machine either way.

It's not a revolution, I just fuck shit up

The last line in the eight bars is an ironic line in a list of ironic lines.  I think that "fucking shit up" is revolutionary and does lead to revolution.

Like Afroman, we're about to get high

A reference to Afroman's biggest hit, "Because I Got High," and his 80-90 other songs about getting high.

Like R. Kelly, we believe we can fly

Double reference here, one to getting high and one to the R. Kelly song most well-known by pop fans.

Like Ben Grimm, we're about to get stoned

Another double reference, one to getting high and the other to the Thing of Marvel's Fantastic Four, who is made of orange rock.

Like Skeletor, we're about to get boned

A sexual pun directed at the He-Man villain whose face is a skull.

Like Amy Winehouse, we're about to get drunk

Only a single reference on this one, to one of the most famous people in the world in the last few years for being publicly drunk.

Like the Clash, we're about to get punk

A reference to one my two or three most favorite punk bands and the idea that punk artists both like to party and like to engage in revolution.

Like Ron Jeremy, we're about to get fucked

Another sexual reference, this one about the ubiquitous everyman porn star.

Like a black hole, we're about to get sucked

One last sexual pun, referring both to oral sex and the "sucking" power of gravity from a black hole.

All my neighbors went to Afroman

They didn't take me, not part of the plan

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't the one

Let's get high and make our own fun

The chorus again.

Don't laugh at me, come laugh with me

Then I'll turn it around and have you thinking

The idea of many of my songs is for me to say a bunch of silly, ridiculous stuff and mix it in with serious stuff.  So you are laughing or saying "I can't believe he just said that," and then you are thinking about the political or social commentary in the other lines or songs.

Then I'll turn it around and have you drinking

Also, that I want to party with you.

Then I'll turn it around and have the ladies winking

Also, that I love women.  On multiple levels.

Then I'll turn it around and have you lip syncing

Typical rap boast about how much listeners are going to like my music.

Then I'll turn it around and have you rethinking

But, then again, the point of the songs is not the laughter or getting women or anything like that, it's to have the listeners think about the things I'm rapping about.

Then I'll turn it around and have your ego shrinking

A boast about my rap prowess and how few others rap like me.

Then I'll make you shit your pants and you'll be stinking

This one works on two levels. The first is about other rappers, following in the vein of the previous line.  The other is about those who don't use their minds much and don't think much.  They won't have a choice after listening to my rhymes.

Don't scoff at me, come drink with me

The idea, though, is not that I'm trying to elevate myself above others.  If someone doesn't like me or doesn't like what I'm saying, I'd rather sit down and talk with them about my ideas and theirs than get in a fight with them.

The last bit of the song takes the partying aspect further.  Early in the night I like to talk politics and music and all that, and as the night goes on, I like to move on to other pursuits.  These are local to the D.C. area, for the most part.

Then we'll go to Black Cat and start dancing

One of my favorite clubs to see shows or dance at.

Then we'll find food trucks and start eating

Partying always makes me hungry.  Food trucks are big in D.C.

Then we'll find some brats and commence to beating

A reference to another one of my favorite punk bands, the Ramones and their song "Beat on the Brat."

We'll get Michael Cera and start tiny prancing

A reference to one of, to me, the funniest memes on the Internet, the Michael Cera "Tiny Prancer" one.   Also, again, showing the distractedness and non-sequitur nature of being high, which the narrator obviously is by this point.

Then we'll go to Quarry House and keep on drinking

A bar in Silver Spring, Maryland, that I go to about once a week.

Then we'll go to Japone and start singing

One of my favorite karaoke bars, a place in the Dupont Circle area of D.C.

Then we'll go to Cloisters and start fucking

The name of my apartment complex at the time of the song.  Any good night of partying is best capped off by a bit of lovemaking.

All my neighbors went to Afroman

They didn't take me, not part of the plan

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't the one

Let's get high and make our own fun

The chorus, one more time.  With feeling.

Charlie Sheen (With Footnotes)

<a href="http://professorrex.bandcamp.com/album/core-nerd">Core Nerd by Professor Rex</a>

Here is the fourth in my series of lyrical examinations of the songs of my debut mixtape, "Core Nerd!"

As I say in the song Liquid Thunder, "My rhymes are so dense you're gonna need footnotes." Here they are...

This time, for the song "Charlie Sheen."

The basic idea on this one was to take a lot of the crazy things that Charlie Sheen had been saying in the media at the time and turn them into lyrics. Almost every line in the song is based on a Sheen quote. Somehow in compiling the words in that way, it turned into some kind of empowerment anthem, which is very strange and was unintentional, but totally embraced after the fact.  After each song excerpt is the original Sheen quote that inspired it and explanation, if necessary.

A disease is what you said I had I cured it with my brain, man, I ain't dead

"I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my brain, with my mind." The idea here is that there are some things that society says are "illnesses" that some people can handle or that some people can fix on their own, without the confines of programs like AA, which Sheen was sent to.

Who I am you just don't know

This one isn't a specific quote, but is related to numerous things Sheen said with the basic premise "you don't know me." It's kind of representative of things that most haters do, come to conclusions about people without knowing anything about them.

I'm battle-tested bayonets, bro

“I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”  The idea that one can handle pretty much anything that comes at you because you've already been through so much that you can handle anything.

I'm tired of pretending that I'm not winning

I'm tired of pretending that I'm not bitchin

"I’m tired, I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin and just delivering the goods at every frikin turn..." People are expected to be humble in any situation, no matter how successful they get.  Sometimes, though, being humble is self-denigration and shouldn't be done.

This shit ain't ending,

I'm breaking down the bars

I can't find where these lines came from, but I assume that they come from a Sheen quote. The reference here is that no matter how much shit is thrown at the song's narrator, he/she continues to move forward and break out of his/her own prison and the prison that society has put him/her in.

I'm a total bitchin rock star from motherfucking mars

"I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars." What could be a more awesome job title than this one?

Banging seven gram rocks cuz that's how I roll

I got one speed, one gear, that shit says go 

"I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll.  I have one speed, I have one gear: Go." Some people have a much higher tolerance for drugs and debauchery than others.  Some people live life at a faster rate than the rest of us.

You can't understand me with a normal human brain

You can't comprehend me when I bring down the reign

"You can't process me with a normal brain."  Pretty straightforward: I'm not like you and you can't even understand me.

Look what I'm dealing with, fools and trolls

"Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls."A diminishing of critics who the narrator doesn't feel are worthy of criticizing him/her.

Drop McDonalds, TMZ, your Us Weekly blues 

"So just shut your traps and put down your McDonald’s, your magazines, your TMZ and the rest of it and focus on something that matters." Clearly these things, which are important to a lot of people, shouldn't be important.

I'm on the 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock, 11 o'clock news

Not a direct quote on this one, but considering how much Sheen was on TV at the time, totally appropriate.

I got no time for this, bring me Dr. Clown Shoes 

"Bring me Dr. Clown shoes." Pretty unfathomable, yet entertaining, name to anoint a critic with.

You just don't believe in me I'm still winning

You don't see me, feel me I'm still winning

You don't know where I'm from I'm still winning

The game is almost over I'm still winning

The lead-in to the chorus isn't a direct quote, but tries to encapsulate the Sheen spirit.  He constantly talks about how people don't understand what he's dealing with and that he's "winning" despite their dislike for him.  This is meant to reinforce that concept.

I am on a drug

It's called Charlie Sheen

I am on a drug

I said it's called Charlie Sheen

"I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."  Maybe one of the greatest quotes in town.

A new sheriff in town with an army of assassins

"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins." This is one of my favorite Sheen quotes.  A new sheriff in town means that the old ways of doing things aren't going to work anymore.  A change has come.  The army of assassins is the group of friends, family and allies who support the person making the changes.

You have the right to kill me, but no right to judge me 

"You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me." Put your money where your mouth is, don't just talk shit, confront the person rather than talk about them behind their back.

I'm gonna alter time, teleport off this rock 

"When friends asked me, Can we help? I'd say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock." My take on the quote gives the narrator power.

I got 37 goddesses riding on my cock

Sheen calls his girlfriends "goddesses."  The other reference here is a Kevin Smith allusion to the 37 men that Dante's girlfriend in Clerks had gone down on. The premise here is that no matter what you do or say about me, I'll still be winning and still attract the ladies.

I've got magic and poetry in my fingertips And most of the time, this includes naps

"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I'm an F-18, bro." The narrator is a creator, not just someone who passively accepts life.  Even when he/she is taking a nap, they're more creative than the average person.

This song is a work of magic warlock art 

"I'll make this a work of magic warlock art." The song is bragging that it is in the tradition of the "magic warlock art" that Sheen creates.

I got tiger blood flowing through my motherfucking heart

“I have Tiger Blood running through my veins.” The narrator is not like everyone else.  He/she has the strength of a tiger because he/she is infused with tiger blood.

That's life, that's nobility, it's crystal and it's pure 

"That’s life, there’s nobility in that, there’s focus, it’s genuine, it’s crystal and it’s pure and its available to everybody." The pursuit for art and hedonism and fun is more noble and pure than the other pursuits that people go after.

Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs

"Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs." One with tiger blood would naturally live longer than others and could figure out how to defeat even death.

My adonis DNA dominates any room

"I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people, people who aren't special, people who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA." What's more powerful than a tiger?  A god.  What god would you want to be?  Maybe the god of beauty?

That's the whole movie, that's life, boom

"Boom, that’s the whole movie, that’s life." Everyone else is complicating their lives too much and pursuing the wrong things.  The narrator is saying that his/her take on life is simple and a better way of doing things.

I got volumes on how not to behave

I got more info than guy should at my age

"I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age." Tiger blood has allowed the narrator to survive things that others couldn't and has given he/she a wisdom that most others can't obtain.

If at first you don't succeed, then fucking what

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?" Don't give up if you fail, but if you have tiger blood, you don't fail that often.  You get things right the first time.  If you do, what happens next?

Boom, crush, night losers, winning, duh

"Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh." How else would you end such a speech? 

You just don't believe in me I'm still winning

You don't see me, feel me I'm still winning

You don't know where I'm from I'm still winning

This game is fucking over And I won

Same lead-in to the hook as before, but now the game is over and the narrator is no longer "winning," but has won.

I am on a drug

It's called Charlie Sheen

I am on a drug

I said it's called Charlie Sheen

I am on a drug

It's called Charlie Sheen

I am on a drug

It's fucking called Charlie Sheen

Repeat of the earlier chorus.

Jay-Z - Magna Carta...Holy Grail (HHES Review)

This is the first album review using my new Hip Hop Evaluation System (HHES), Jay-Z's "Magna Carta...Holy Grail."

The first song on the album, "Holy Grail," is probably the best overall track.  It starts off with Justin Timberlake at his best.  The lyrics on the song seem to be examining the rigors of success, family and the challenges of fame.  Not the most profound song ever, but pretty good.  And the Nirvana reference is pretty awesome.

The next track, "Picasso Baby," is maybe the best stuff, lyrically speaking, that Jay has ever written.  It seems a bit more complex that his usual work and the thickness of the art-related references is kind of mind-boggling coming from a popular rapper.  You'd expect this type of stuff from a underground rapper, but this is the King.

And then he follows it up with a fashion mogul check on "Tom Ford," that is good enough lyrically, but has an amazing backing track that sounds damn near Nintendocore.  Yeah, a Jay-Z song about fashion set over a Nintendo beat.  That happened.

The album was going so good and along comes Rick Ross to fuck it up on "FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt."  The song isn't terrible, but the performance by Ross wastes what is a pretty good backing track and makes Jay-Z's verse a bit worse because he adopts Ross's lazy style for part of his verse.  He ramps it up after that, but closes out with the same kind of lazy shit Ross brings.

On "Oceans," Frank Ocean helps bring it back to the good shit.  So far this is the deepest song on the album, once again with great production and a very good hook from Ocean.  The song touches on the journey from slavery to rich black men riding luxury boats on the same oceans that the slaves traveled in slave ships.  And it does it in a way that isn't preachy or disrespectful of the topic the way that LL Cool J's recent "Accidental Racist" fiasco was.

The next three tracks, "FUTW," "Somewhereinamerica," and "Crown" are pretty standard Jay-Z album tracks.  Which is to say that they aren't spectacular and they pretty much say the same things he's already said a bunch of times.  The production is pretty good, but not as good as the earlier tracks.

"Heaven" steps things up quite a bit.  The production isn't the greatest thing ever, but is a step up over the last three tracks.  But the lyrics are pretty heady stuff for someone in Jay's position.  From dropping R.E.M. lines to telling listeners to question religion, existence and pretty much everything else is pretty impressive for a popular musician.  This is doubly emphasized by a Timberlake hook.  when Jay-Z and JT are telling you to step up your critical thinking, something good is happening.

Too bad "Versus" is only 52 seconds long.  It may be the best 52 seconds of the album.  It sounds amazing and the lyrics are pretty hard-hitting.  They're typical rap boasts, but very good typical rap boasts.

At times I really like what Beyonce brings to a song.  "Part II (On the Run)" is not one of those times.  Jay's raps here are pretty good, better than on many of the other songs on the second half of the album, but they are interrupted by weak Beyonce performances.

"Beach Is Better" is probably only worth its 56 seconds.  It's not bad, but it seems like an undeveloped idea and probably could've been left off the album.

Next up is "BBC" and in his verse, Nas has the verse of the album.  He brings it as strong as he's ever brought it and just a few minutes after listening to Rick Ross, I can't see how Ross even calls himself a rapper when people like Nas bring it.  Jay seems to work with the level of the guests on whichever track he's on.  Ross brought him down, where Nas brings him up.  This has probably the best hook outside of the first track and definitely has the best production of the album.  If this song isn't a big hit, there's a problem with how we choose hits in this country.

The next three tracks are mostly filler.  "Jay Z Blue" probably means a lot to Jay and Beyonce, but doesn't grab me like it should.  "La Familia" is a tried-and-true, but played out hip hop topic song.  "Nickels and Dimes" is most notable for a pretty strong beef with Harry Belafonte that is entertaining and a few other references that are entertaining.  None of these are terrible, but they don't carry much weight, despite good production.

Overall Analysis

Flow: 9. Jay is one of the best (if not most technically competent) of the popular rappers and this is one of his better albums in terms of consistent flow. 

Lyrics: 8. Creative and original for Jay-Z, but at times they seem to go off the rails or get a bit repetitive.

Message: 7. The album starts off with really good songs with strong messages, but comes and goes a bit after that.

Technical: 6. Jay doesn't do the most technically difficult raps, but he does do some creative things from time to time on this album, although there isn't anything here that other above average rappers couldn't do pretty easily.

Production: 8. Probably the best production Jay has had in a while, particularly on the stronger first half of the album.

Versatility: 5. Jay isn't known for his versatility and he doesn't attempt to stretch beyond his normal vocals here, although what he does is far from terrible.

Collaborators: 7. This is mostly a Jay-Z album and the collaborators aren't that vocally present except in a few songs.  Rick Ross and Beyonce are bad, but Frank Ocean, Nas, and the guest producers add a lot to the album.

History: 8. Jay knows his hip hop history and lets that come through in quite a few places.  In several songs he takes on broader history, particularly on "Oceans," and does it well, if not often enough.

References: 8. Some great references on some of the songs, particularly the first few songs, but a lot of bland or repetitive references come in later that drag it down a bit.

Originality: 7. Most original album that Jay has done I think, which is to say that it isn't groundbreaking, but it's different than most of what you hear on the radio.

Total Score: 73. Which means it's a quality album, but not quite a masterpiece.  The album starts off really strong with 4 of the first 5 songs being great before hitting a lull in the middle that it only sometimes recovers from.

First Draft of Hip Hop Evaluation System (HHES)

So after a conversation on Facebook about who the GOAT was in hip hop, I came to the conclusion that I didn't have a conclusion.  There's so much music in hip hop history that it's difficult to pin down that one artist is better than the others.  And as the scientific type, I'm not one to just throw out a wrong answer.  So I said I was going to come up with a better system for evaluating MCs and hip hop artists to determine, eventually, who the real GOAT is. 

I'm throwing this out for discussion and I'll adjust the system before I start actually evaluating artists, but here's what I came up with.  I've got 10 categories, where each artist can be rated on a scale of 1-10 in terms of how good an artist is, giving them a score of 10-100.  These can be done for an individual song, for an album, or for a career.  In terms of a career, however, quantity should also be a factor, so I would add a category for that as well (also on a 1-10 scale), but that factor isn't strictly about just the number of songs, but the number of good songs, so for the quantity, I'll award 1 point for every 10 songs that get a rating of above 70 on the scale listed below.  Thus if you put out 10 albums with 10 quality songs, you'd have a perfect score on the quantity scale for your career.

Anyways, the categories and what they mean:

• Flow: Does it sound good when they spit?

• Lyrics: Are the words they spit creative?  Original?  Do they make sense (or purposefully avoid making sense)?

• Message: Are they really serious?  Are they funny?  What's the point of the song?

• Technical: Is what they are rapping easy to do or hard to do?  Is the rest of the song good enough that an easy flow doesn't detract from it?

• Production: The tracks they rap over, whether they made them or someone else did, are they good, original and add to the vocals?

• Versatility: Do they do the same thing over and over again or do they try to do something new?

• Collaborators: Do they choose good people to work with?  Do they do it all themselves?

• History: Do they show an awareness of hip hop history?  Do they show an awareness of broader history?

• References: A variety of references to politics, music, sports, etc.  Are the references clever, different, appropriate?

• Originality: Does their stuff sound just like somebody else or do they do something new?

One of the goals with this system was to allow for people who have different styles and approaches.  Humor, for instance, is common in hip hop, but not every MC is a jokester, so I put funny and serious in the same category so that two MCs with different approaches could be compared on what they were actually trying to do and not just on an arbitrary division of categories.

All right, what do you think?  Does this look good or should it be revised?